Unsent messages to ANTHONY

i know i’m over you but you were the first person i let into my life like that and the way you treated me made you the last

i miss talking to you, staying up late with you having our heart to heart conversations, i miss your company. i’m not sure if i’m ready to commit to something as i fear of messing it up and ruining it all or moving to fast. you text me sometimes, ignore me sometimes. i never know with you.

I literally loved you so much that it consumed me. You were my everything and I thought I had found some sort of peace with you. You hurt me more than anyone has hurt me before, yet I won’t ever hold you accountable for it. I hate that you never truly cared about me the way you said you did. I’m so happy you finally found someone that makes you feel something, even it’s not me. I hope you never get your heart broken again. I love you until forever.

u weren’t my first love but fuck u, it hurts to see u happy with someone else when i wasn’t good enough

i’m over you , but sometimes u pop up in my mind and i hate it. it’s been two years and i cant get you out the back of my head. u were the first person i actually loved and you ended up hurting me so much to the point where i couldn’t be with anyone else, the worst part is we never even dated, i never got to show u how much i love u. i hate you so much

Honestly you completely messed me up but I grew from that and I thank you for helping me build who I am today & even though I tell you all the time, it’s never happening again..I’m so much better off without you in my life. So thank you.

i hate you because anything you do makes me have butterflies when i tell myself i won’t fall for you again. i hate you because ur with her but knew damn well that i was just there to boost ur ego.

i hope one day you come back to me , you showed me what it’s like loving to losing. My soul is always with you.

to my adorkable man. i love you so much. you made me so happy and im so sorry for what i did to you. i hurt you in ways i can only imagine and i shouldn’t have. i wish i could give you a reason- you deserve a reason, but i cant. you were a light in my life. my first love. i wish i met your daughter. i wish i’d gotten to hug you. kiss you. i wish i didnt break your heart. but if i went back to you i know i’d break it all over again and i cant do that to you. not again. i dont even know what you look like but you are the most beautiful person i have ever met in my life. i love you so much, but it’s time we both move on, darling. i’ve got a sophie to love now. please find someone better for you, who will love you and kiss you and be good for your family. find happiness, anthony. please.

i don’t know why I still think about you. it’s literally so fucking stupid. i don’t know why im doing this. love you f&a... maybe

I’m sorry for how I was. It all feels like a dream now. I realize how kind you were to me. I hope you can forgive me one day.

Even after you broke my heart, everyone I dated after you , I didn’t love them the same way as I loved you and I don’t know if we’re meant to be or not but I know God will guide us in the right place

I miss u but you’ve moved on to someone else. I truly care about you anthony. Thank you for all the memories/text messages. I want to stop thinking about you i rlly do but i just cant. You were my soulmate. I just know it, guess you didn’t. Part of me is glad that you’re finally happy again. You deserve everything good in life.

You told me forever & always but now you’re gone with somebody else while I'm still hurting over you I love you and never will stop

hey baby, just know I love you and I’m thankful you are in my life. I’m glad I met you. You have made me a better person and made life worth living. I love all the memories we have made and I’m so excited to go into 2021 with you. You are my sun, my moon, and my stars. I love you
- your sunflower

Was it that bad that I liked you? We could've had a great friendship but me liking u was a dealbreaker huh? ur a piece of shit

Was it that bad that I liked you? We could've had a great friendship but me liking u was a dealbreaker huh? ur a piece of shit

sitting in your presence makes me the happiest girl in the world but i don’t think you’ll ever realize it.

Held on for too long and now I’m just over it. I wish we worked out but I did all I could to try and be with you. Stay well. Do better.

Hey, I miss our long FaceTimes and how you held my hand in yours, how you always tapped my head when you saw me. But I was just a bet, a joke. I really did like you.

i had loved you for so long, but now i realize that our relationship didn’t work out because our love was just platonic and i am terribly sorry for breaking your heart, but i didn’t know if i could trust anything that comes out of your mouth.

i hate you so much. you ruined me. i don't think ill ever be able to trust someone ever again. i hope you dont ruin the girl u cheated on me with. i still wish you guys the best. ill be fine soon, i know.

Tbh till this day I'll never know if you actually liked me or just wanted to spare my feelings from being hurt. I hope you're doing well now though. At least I can say the first person I loved wasn't a shitty person right ..

you called me and i didn’t answer every part of me wanted us to work and i came up with so many ways to give myself closure but i’ll never really know what happened i’ve tried talking to other gusy since you but i haven’t felt the way i did for you i’m waiting for someone to make me feel how you did i deserve so much better but i wanted you to be better but your not so i’m leaving you and letting you go for real this time i’m leaving you in this year and not looking back you made me realize a lot of things and i still wonder if i really loved you and if i’ll ever see you again but your a chapter that’s closed so goodbye

Todavía espero volver a hablar con vos, decirte todo lo que no me anime a decir hace años y sacarme las dudas que hasta el día de hoy no desaparecieron.
L.

so many things going on in my life and you’re the first person i want to tell but i cant anymore... happy belated

i’m still in love with you after these years. i wish you nothing but happiness because that’s what you deserve.

would it make you happy to know that you are the only thing I can still write about with little effort? at the thought of you when i'm staring at a blank page it's like all of the how are you's and conversations we haven't had in the passed year can just come out. i actively no longer write because it upsets me knowing you are one of the only things I can write about with ease. that's slightly ridiculous and i know it. how do i get back to myself? ps thank u for my favourite poetry book, i still love it and its still one of my favourite christmas gifts. (but also not thank you for making it so hard for me to write without feeling like I'm being torn back to the past.)

I messed up, I know, and I am sorry. I shouldn’t have gotten into a relationship with you so quickly. I know it means nothing now, but I’ve changed. I’m ready for a relationship, how do I prove that to you? If you happen to be reading this and don’t know if it’s me, your in n out order is a double double animal style (yes on onions), fries animal style, and a neapolitan milkshake, at least, that used to be your order....

Will you continue to think about me when you bond with another? Will you think about your body pressed against mine? Will you
lucidly dream about my wet kisses? Will you reminisce in my laughter, my eyes locked with yours, grasping
my small body? Will you return to me? Better question, will you ever be fond of me? Would you announce to
others that I am yours? Will I be a secret? Oh how I admire our secret romance! I question myself... do I genuinely
like you or do I yearn for a sense of affection and validation? I am okay with losing you in all honesty. In the
end, we will have our friendship. I want to wake up in your big, strong arms at 7am. I want to hear you moan at
me. I want to feel your kisses. Did you ever like me? It is a shame that you caught me at a point in time
where I feel nothing. Do you find me to be ethereal? I wish I had the guts to ask you these questions instead
of pitifully typing them out to strangers. I secretly want to cling onto your hoodies with firm, great care. Okay,
I will admit, when you move on, I will be jealous. For now, I will cherish my loyalty to you, the memories made/ will be made, etc. Am I good enough for you to be a lover? Will I ever know? I wonder who will take your place. Will I be as excited about them as I am about you? How long will this go on until I finally release you? Is it my genuinity that clasp onto you? I want to wake up to you, I want to be possessed, I want to be in a firm position.

I wish you realized how much I love you but you’ll never see me that way. And I can accept that as long as I can keep you in my life, I can keep this secret to myself and lie saying I don’t love you when in reality I love you so fucking much..

i hate you so much but i love you at the same time. you came back into my life when i was the happiest without you. fuck you

I still have a lot of cute screenshots and when I miss you I just go through them. Sometimes, I get to the bad screenshots, where we argued and end up feeling better that we broke up. Sometimes, I dont get that far and I end up crying at the first ones. When you told me you would run away with me. When you would tell me to take care of mom. When you'd tell me you loved me even when I was annoying. When you said that you wanted to try. For us. It hurts. Seeing all those unsleeped nights go to waste. I even told my mom about you, but not in the context I was hoping for. I told her we already ended things. I miss you. A lot. I miss the times you were trying to talk in romanian with me. It was rlly cute. I appreciated every single moment talking to u.

I miss you. Please come back. I think about you all the time. I regret so many things. Please come back.

you never believed that i really loved you or anything like that. but i choose to believe i did. some
type of gravitational pull happened and i wish you just gave me a chance

i hate that you still make me upset. i mistook a genuine fear of you for butterflies. but i haven't felt that strongly about anyone since you. i hope to feel indifferent toward you someday.

You rlly hurt me and you wouldn’t let me live anything down. You treated me like shit and I’m more mad at myself for not setting boundaries

I’ve called once or twice and hung up once you picked up. Just wanted to see if you hadn’t gone to jail or been killed by a witch.

I’m sorry I wasn’t good enough. You deserve nothing but happiness and I’m so sorry I couldn’t give you that

Hey kiddo i miss you so much and what we had, but hope u r doing well, i always think about you, wish i could hear your voice once more time, ily

i love you so much, come back please. give us a real try for once. i’m fine with the drunk texts some nights, it means we can talk. i just need you please

I hate that I still think of you. You had such an impact on me but I wonder if you think the same about me.

it hurts to listen to the songs we listened too when we were together. I love you. until we meet again my love. i will always be waiting.

I talk about you all the time, and people tell me how strong I am, how mature I am for not resenting you. For not talking badly about you. And I wonder how they think that I’m being strong when even the thought of you still shatters my heart into a million pieces.

the most painful part of the breakup wasn’t even your text. not your words of you saying you didn’t want to be with me anymore. It was the realization that I had lost you. And I wouldn’t be able to talk to you anymore, at least it wouldn’t be the same anymore.

i dont have the words to explain how you make me feel. but i stay up all night falling more and more for you..

I want you to be happy. But I don’t want to say “even if it’s not with me” because that’s not how I feel. Why did you leave?

Te amo, y te voy amar todos los dias de mi vida no importa con quien estes o con quien yo este siempre te voy amar siempre voy a pensar en ti.

I want to show and tell you everything I feel but I’m afraid you won’t feel the same I’ve only known you for a while but I swear we have something and I just want to get more closer then we already are I just wish I wasn’t unlucky if I could keep you I would and I wouldn’t want to let you go

¿Nunca fui suficiente para ti? Dos años esperé por una respuesta. Y se la diste a alguien más en 6 meses.