Unsent messages to ADRIAN

You’re not a good person and it’s great realizing that everything I loved about you was a reflection of me

You aren’t the first thing I think about in the morning anymore and no longer the last thing I think about before I go to sleep.

i miss you and i miss what we had.i miss the person you were back then.but you don’t care anymore and i have to accept that.

You’ll probably never see this, I wish you didn’t catfish back then, I don’t like you obviously. But honestly I think we could’ve lasted way longer if you just stood with your truth. You were the first person to make me feel so, how do I say this, Like I’m flying. I felt so high in the air just when I used to text you, although I don’t like you anymore, I wish I can feel that again with the next person. So I thank you for that, thank you for that experience, although my 14 year old ass was really cringey. But I won’t forget that feeling Dum dum.

You make my life feel like the sunny day after a stormy one. The way the sun shines in through the sadness.

how was it so easy for u to pretend? i dont get it. u said u wanted me, u acted like u did. but while we were talking u hit up my sister as if i wouldnt find out. and then when we stopped talking u directly asked me before u did it. how? how was it so easy for u.. to pretend, to hit up my sister with no shame, to say u could have had my whole friend group. i grew insecurities bc of u. u put me in such a mentally damaging place. it hurt. and it still does. it feels like i will never get over u. like i will never be able to forget u. i want to.. i want to so bad. i would relieved, especially mentally. but why? why do u always make an entrance into my life again? why cant u just let me forget u? pls its so draining. pls just leave me alone. sometimes i think ab the times we had, the good ones. and i start falling back in love until i remember what u did. with no shame, no hesitation. fuck u. u dont deserve me. u dont deserve anyone. u do the same shit to every girl. fuck u.

you just left so I stopped caring about you. you better realise what a queen you lost and come begging for me back, of course I won't accept you. I wish you the worst in your life because you deserve it.

I’m sorry for getting your hopes up, I really am. I didn’t know how to tell them that I didn’t like you like that.

i loved you with every part of myself. but now i feel nothing. i feel i am unable to love anyone, including you, and im okay with that. am i broken?

hey adrian/whats sleep if you ever read this, it’s jaden i miss ya and your long calls, it help me a lot. thank you

I don't know what made me create the idea of you being mine. You're amazing and a beautiful human. bwhs

I love you, but you alway replace me and I hate it. but I cant help the fact that I love you, although I wish I didn’t.

what hurts the most is that you’re with her now, even though you said you weren’t ready for a relationship. why wasn’t i good enough?

Supongo que siempre te amaré, nunca había sentido algo asi por alguien, gracias por hacer mi vida más bonita aunque me rompiste el corazón

i could stand infront of you with red eyes while tears are running down my face and all you would do is complain that im standing in your way.

Hey Adrian
We met on omegle and we've never exchanged socials but like I just felt like I knew you and I dont know I can't explain it but I just felt safe.anyways hope your doing well and happy late late birthday:)hope you celebrated good

you said if it is meant to be fate will bring us back together. i wonder if you really believe fate works like that. as if it lives in the sky staring down at us. as if it has five fingers and spends its time placing us like pieces of chess. as if it is not the choices we make. who taught you that you have been given a heart and a mind that isn’t yours to use? that your actions do not define what will become of you. i want to yell it’s us you fool. we’re the only ones that can bring us back together. isn’t it such a tragic thing when you can see it so clearly but the other person doesn’t. it’s not too late

it took me a year and four months to get over it all and i still see your face in the guys i try and fall for

i am completely & utterly in love with you & all that you are, but i can’t tell you because i am absolutely terrified of hurting you.

I’m sorry. Our relationship was so toxic. It brought out this ugly evil side to me. We should’ve never dated. I wish we broke up sooner.

you're not my first love, but i had to say something. tomorrow is your birthday, and i really wish i could be there with you. the past 30 days have felt like a lifetime. i am so in love with you. and the sad thing is, i can physically see you fading away. they say the first few weeks are the best, and they were. and maybe i did something wrong because i always seem to mess things up, but i don't wanna lose you. you mean everything to me. i can't usually explain how i'm feeling, but i know exactly how i feel about you. and i wanna say this now, before i go any further because it's the most important. the feeling of wanting to die is inside me all the time. but when i talk to you, it goes away. you say i can talk to you about anything, but you can't really bring up that in a conversation. i'm sorry for telling you i'm fine. the truth is, i'm not. and i don't i'll ever be. but you make me so happy and if you are planning on leaving, please do it soon, because i can feel you slipping away and i don't wanna be shocked when you do finally leave. i was so confused when you picked me out of the 7 billion other people in this worl and i don't think i'll ever know, but one thing i do know, is that i've fallen. hard. and i don't think i'll ever get back up.

Every time I hear your name, your voice, a song you said you liked, my heart still skips a beat. I wish we had more time.

You’ll never be able to understand how much I love you because you don’t even feel remotely the same.

I wake up everyday with you on my mind, then remembering that you don’t feel the same, is something that puts me down for the rest of the day.

I wrote this in our favorite color. I wish things worked out because you were my perfect person, the person I could talk to for hours without caring and now we are here. I miss you and what I thought you were and I’m not sure why im sorry and you aren’t.

All right. Ive moved on, so long ago. I just wanted to tell you that you made me feel like shit, unlovable, kapalitpalit, not worth it, laruan and last but certainly not the fucking least, you used me, for what? your mommy issues? your constant need of being in a relationship? your constant need for sex? all right HAHAHAH. To be honest, your not a nice person. Your a player, you play with peoples feelings and use them for their affection, and their body, thats not nice ser. I guess what im trying to say is thank you, thank you for playing me and leaving me because it truly opened my eyes, to be more careful with my heart next time, and to be careful with who I trust. Thank you for the experience, because i grew up, i learned, i matured, i became the best version of myself and most of all, I have someone who is the opposite of who you are, a person who will never leave me, a person who respects me and a person who loves me with all their hearts, so thank you and i dont regret anything :)

this is really the last one. this is just an add on bc i’ve had time to think. i realized that maybe u actually did care abt me and it all wasnt just a lie. but u lost interest. just like i had thought u would. i guessed it from the beginning and i should’ve enjoyed it while it lasted. i miss what we had, not you. you’ve changed and you aren’t the same person anymore. the old adrian was sm different. i loved that adrian. not the current one. you’re different, you’ve changed. and not in a good way either. i’m trying so hard to not let go but i really have to. what’s not meant to be won’t draw back to eachother. we weren’t meant to be u were just a lesson learned. i hope ur happy adrian, with whoever else you’ve found. please don’t blame yourself either if you’re reading these. it’s not your fault. we cannot control our feelings and the fact that u lost interest. i completely will never blame you. i wish i could hate u for hurting me that way though. i wish things could’ve ended differently and been mutual. i just wanted things to end on good terms. your no response was also a response at the same time. proving that we were over. fuck you for hurting me like that and leading me on. i hate the fact that you’re always still running in the back of my mind for 7 months straight i haven’t gone a day without thinking of you. now i don’t think of you as the same way i used to. i wish i didn’t think about you anymore. it’s really so fucked up what you did but we can’t rewrite the past i really saw all of this coming. i didn’t wanna do anything abt it bc i wanted to hold on just a little longer. you have no idea how hard it was for me to get to the point where i am right now. i stopped eating, i was shaking sending u those messages, i wasnt myself, i was so upset and had to try and distract myself every 2 seconds, you made me question my self worth and made me think i wasn’t worthy of being loved and that i wasn’t good enough. but that’s not it at all. i am good enough you just can’t simply see that. and we just aren’t meant to be. i’m glad i’m not attached to you anymore and that i’m not dependent on u anymore. i’ve cried too much over you. overthought too much, and so much more. but that’s not my point. i’m tired of all of this. ik i keep coming back to this and keep saying i’m done and that this is goodbye but it really is. u may not even read these but i once told u abt this website so maybe one day you’ll remember, come back and read these. i’m not even afraid of u finding these bc this is the truth. i did have love for u and i never admitted to it. i do care abt you so much. i loved everything abt you and i was so scared at the same time. don’t blame yourself. don’t beat yourself up. it’s not worth it. just be better and learn from your mistakes. please don’t come back either. i’m not ready for that. i need to move on. if we’re meant to be we’ll come back to eachother one day. this sounds so dumb. but i’ve really realized so much. again, i wish nothing but the best for you. i wanna see you happy. goodbye muffin

i’ve wrote so many of these and this is most likely gonna be my last one. since i refuse to go and text you and tell u myself since you’re not worth telling. this is my goodbye, we never got a goodbye but this is how i’m saying goodbye. u may see this one day or u may not. i’m saying goodbye for my own good. i’m tired of holding on for u, hoping that you’d change, waiting for the “what if’s” you’re not coming back. no matter how badly i want you to. you hurt me so badly. and i still love you. i wish i didn’t. you have no idea how hard it is to get over u but i’m trying. i’m gonna block you bc i cannot stand trying to look at your social media accs all the time. it’s too late. when u realize how much i actually meant and that u fucked up it’ll be too late. i have so many questions that are unanswered and i have to live with that. i have to live with that maybe the entire thing was a lie and u were just using me to get over ur ex. then when u didn’t need me anymore u left. i’m worth more than that. i hope one day you’ll realize and change. deep down i know you’re a good person adrian. but you fucked up. i probably didn’t even mean anything to you, u lost interest and u don’t care abt me. especially not in the way i cared about you. and that’s okay. i always love harder than everyone else. i don’t hate you. i wish i could. i still love you. i still care abt you. i’m not breaking my promises by blocking u. it’s simply just gonna help me move on. u already broke all of ur promises. i’m gonna say this for the final and last time. i loved you. i loved the way you spammed my phone to get my attention, the late night paragraphs, your smile, how you had a soft spot, how u were so caring, i trusted you with any and everything, your nose was adorable, your laugh and giggle was so adorable, your sleepy voice, constantly asking me for voice messages or for me to tell u stories, when we played mc and stayed silent for an hour but i loved knowing u were right there. i was too scared to start convos or say anything weird which was why i was so quiet all the time. i loved how u were so overprotective and respectful, so sweet and kind. after all that i’m still not the one you want. that’s okay. i’m only saying all of this bc i need to finally let go and move on. you probably think this is so unnecessary and that i’m overreacting and being needy but i really got so attached to you. you were my favorite person, favorite everything and u became apart of my daily routine. you were a lesson. it’s gonna be 2 months since it’s been over and i need to fully let go and move on. this is goodbye. i wish you the best, i hope you end up so happy, someone who treats you good, and who you treat good aswell. i want you to be happy adrian. i’d never wanna see you hurt. seeing u upset always made me upset. oh and i loved stayed up with you late at night knowing you were the only one i was talking to. please treat the next girl right. we never dated but it felt like we did. you played me. it’s okay though i forgive you. but i’ll never forget. we can’t be friends we can’t be anything. it’s over. i’ll never forget you, i’ll still always have love for you and care for you but it’ll slowly fade. i want nothing but the best for you. i think i’m over you and i’ve stopped missing you, i just miss what we had now. i wish that i wouldn’t immediately run and text u back if u apologized and said u missed me. which is why i’m blocking you. don’t get me wrong. you’re too late. you’ll come back when i’m fully over you and then i’ll have to get hurt all over again. i’m not willing to get hurt again. i hope you’re okay and doing well. bye muffin. (if you think this is directed to you i wrote all of these in dark purple, purple always reminded me of you)

i'm sorry i blew it. if i could take it back i would. i would do anything to take back what we had. you were truly my other half

I wonder if we think about each other at the same time, and if so, is that not a sign that this is not how things are suppose to be? I don’t think it’s too late

i am so grateful you are back. you are my best friend and i know we both took this time to grow because we both realized how much we mean to each other.
i am so happy and loved, but so are you.
we continue to grow together and i am in awe.
i cannot wait to see what is in store for us.

I wish you could come back to me the way you did with your ex once we broke up. I thought we were happy together.

yesterday was supposed to be 7 months with us even though we never even dated. it felt like we were. i think i’m getting over you it’s just so hard bc sometimes the feeling comes and goes. i have so many questions. why did u lie to me and break ur promises? why was it so easy for u to leave me after u said you’d never do that? why did u leave me the way u did? why didn’t u give me an explanation? did u find someone better? why’re you so okay with all of this? was i never even that important to you? why did u lead me on? why did u hurt me so badly and hurt me the same exact way u said u wouldnt. do u ever think abt me? do u ever think abt coming back to me? all of these questions i want to know the answer to but i just can’t know them. a part of me still has a little bit of hope that you’d come back but deep down i know u aren’t. you’re not good for me. and i still love you. i wish i could hate you for all that u did. every time i remember a memory i smile but then i remember that you’re gone. i’m still so confused on how i feel and at the end of the day my mind always comes back to you. i wonder if i ever meant anything more to you than just friends. i had sm love for you and i still do and i still care abt you so so much but you’re not good for me anymore. you don’t bring me happiness anymore. instead you’ve hurt me so badly especially when i needed u the most. u were my comfort and i still want u to come back but i know it’ll never ever be the same. i’m trying so hard but it’s so tiring. please just tell me why. just why. i’m tired of waiting for someone who doesn’t care abt me, someone who doesn’t love me, someone who probably think abt me anymore. i wanna go back and talk to you once more. wake up from a bad dream and rush to my phone bc you were my comfort. having a bad day and immediately going to you bc you were my comfort. key word, “were” something bad happened the other day and i was so upset and i immediately thought of you and how badly i just wanted to go to you. i wanna talk to you and i know i have the opportunity to go and text u rn but i don’t even think i’d get a response. plus it’s not worth it. i cant chase you. i can’t force you to love or want me. i want to be good enough for people to stop leaving me so easily. it’s so draining bc i love so hard. then they just leave. i explained how badly i was hurt and i thought you’d be different. but you’re the same person you said you wouldn’t be. you changed. and i still love you. i wish i didn’t. if one day you texted me, needing me i’d immediately run to you with no questions asked. if the tables were turned it’d be a different story. why do i love so hard. just for them to leave.

Yo solo quería que durará más. Llegaste para sacarme de la oscuridad y te fuiste cuando me acostumbré a tu luz. Sabía que no eras para mi, pero aún así quería tener un poco más.
Te echo de menos, por favor escríbeme.

stop going back to ilah. ik u like her but i wish u would remember all the pain she brought you before she hurts u again. there are other people out there who will give u all the love you deserve, you just need to let go of the past

You were my weirdo. Now you’re a distant stranger. I miss the times when we were truly in love. I hope we reunite but till then, I’ll admire you from afar.

i loved the way you looked at me and the way your eyes would turn big.it’s been 4 months but your happy with her.

You were my first love. I still love you very glad we ended things on a great note and still managed to be friends after everything. You are still by far my favorite room.

I opened up my feelings to you, you were fake and dishonest and draining :/ and now I'm afraid to be emotionally available to anyone else. You traumatized me to the point where I have become you.

șansa că ați citi asta este foarte foarte mică. hey, we are friends and just friends. you're still super cool and probably the best guy friend i have. hehe. bye xoxo

I wish you knew how much I cared about you. I am so afraid to tell you how I feel in case you don’t feel the same and I’ve just been reading your signals wrong. Regardless you mean a lot to me and I like you a lot.

sometimes i come on here and search up my name hoping that you have written one for me, but u never will. i wish u loved me and didn’t break ur promises. i really thought u were gonna be different. but u can’t force people to love u. and no matter how badly i wanna talk to you i can’t text you or reach out bc i can’t chase you. i can’t force u to want me

i know u probably won’t see this and that’s okay. it’s been a month since u left and it would’ve been 7 months tomorrow. i was doing so good and i’m trying my best to get over you but it’s just so hard to do. i really wish you didn’t do that to me. i really did love you. i just wanted you to love me back. i wanted you to care abt me the way i cared abt you. and you couldn’t do that. i really am fighting the urge to go back to you. i want u to come back so badly but i know things will never be the same. you were my comfort. my favorite person and my favorite part of my day, my favorite notification on my phone. now you’re gone. i wonder if u ever think abt me. if u ever thought abt coming back. please come back. i’m so tired of missing you i want the feeling to go away. why did u have to hurt me so badly. is unrequited love the only love i’ll ever receive?

Hay tantas cosas para decir, me lastimaste, eres quien más daño me ha hecho, pero estoy tan aferrada a tí, que nada de eso me importa, llevo tanto tiempo tratando e intentado no amarte, pero es tan imposible, fuiste mi primera ilusión, lo nuestro fue tan corto, pero sentí tantas cosas, sentí que tenía vida, a tu lado todo era maravilloso, te pedí de tantas maneras que nunca te vayas, pero lo que yo quería contigo, tu no lo querías conmigo, no estoy segura de si lo que tu sentías por mí eran inventos o eran sentimientos reales, pero lo que yo siento por tí es totalmente cierto, espero encuentres a alguien que te haga muy feliz, te amaré por siempre... Te Amo

It's amazing to see how you moved me by having what you had. You don't care how much you hurt me, what you did care about is that you were well and happy. However, I hope you are.

Por que? Explicame porque si fuiste tan malo, si fuiste tan ruin conmigo, porque sigo soñando con ver tu sonrisa? Me destruiste, pasaron 5 años, 5 malditos años y aun pienso que puedes quererme, que podemos ser algo. Dios, cuanto repudio a mi corazon por aun sentir algo por ti.

it’s never too late to come back to me. i still love you always no matter what and we could make it work

I locked the moon every night wishing that she could tell you how much i loved u.
But definitely we weren't meant to be,take care,goodbye.

te quise como a nadie, queria una vida contigo, porque me tuviste que hacer tanto daño? me quisiste alguna vez? muchas veces me imagino como habria sido nuestra vida si nunca hubiese pasado lo que paso, no e vuelto a sentir lo mismo por nadie...te odio muchisimo, eres la persona que mas e querido.
porque me pegaste? porque me engañaste? porque me humillaste? porque me hiciste creer que era una mierda? porque?

no se porque te sigo hablando, me lastimaste mucho y aun así te pedí que te quedaras conmigo, se que me engañaste muchas veces, aun así después de todos esos años en los que me sentí como la mrd, me escribiste y ahí estuve y aun estoy.