this is really the last one. this is just an add on bc i’ve had time to think. i realized that maybe u actually did care abt me and it all wasnt just a lie. but u lost interest. just like i had thought u would. i guessed it from the beginning and i should’ve enjoyed it while it lasted. i miss what we had, not you. you’ve changed and you aren’t the same person anymore. the old adrian was sm different. i loved that adrian. not the current one. you’re different, you’ve changed. and not in a good way either. i’m trying so hard to not let go but i really have to. what’s not meant to be won’t draw back to eachother. we weren’t meant to be u were just a lesson learned. i hope ur happy adrian, with whoever else you’ve found. please don’t blame yourself either if you’re reading these. it’s not your fault. we cannot control our feelings and the fact that u lost interest. i completely will never blame you. i wish i could hate u for hurting me that way though. i wish things could’ve ended differently and been mutual. i just wanted things to end on good terms. your no response was also a response at the same time. proving that we were over. fuck you for hurting me like that and leading me on. i hate the fact that you’re always still running in the back of my mind for 7 months straight i haven’t gone a day without thinking of you. now i don’t think of you as the same way i used to. i wish i didn’t think about you anymore. it’s really so fucked up what you did but we can’t rewrite the past i really saw all of this coming. i didn’t wanna do anything abt it bc i wanted to hold on just a little longer. you have no idea how hard it was for me to get to the point where i am right now. i stopped eating, i was shaking sending u those messages, i wasnt myself, i was so upset and had to try and distract myself every 2 seconds, you made me question my self worth and made me think i wasn’t worthy of being loved and that i wasn’t good enough. but that’s not it at all. i am good enough you just can’t simply see that. and we just aren’t meant to be. i’m glad i’m not attached to you anymore and that i’m not dependent on u anymore. i’ve cried too much over you. overthought too much, and so much more. but that’s not my point. i’m tired of all of this. ik i keep coming back to this and keep saying i’m done and that this is goodbye but it really is. u may not even read these but i once told u abt this website so maybe one day you’ll remember, come back and read these. i’m not even afraid of u finding these bc this is the truth. i did have love for u and i never admitted to it. i do care abt you so much. i loved everything abt you and i was so scared at the same time. don’t blame yourself. don’t beat yourself up. it’s not worth it. just be better and learn from your mistakes. please don’t come back either. i’m not ready for that. i need to move on. if we’re meant to be we’ll come back to eachother one day. this sounds so dumb. but i’ve really realized so much. again, i wish nothing but the best for you. i wanna see you happy. goodbye muffin