yesterday was supposed to be 7 months with us even though we never even dated. it felt like we were. i think i’m getting over you it’s just so hard bc sometimes the feeling comes and goes. i have so many questions. why did u lie to me and break ur promises? why was it so easy for u to leave me after u said you’d never do that? why did u leave me the way u did? why didn’t u give me an explanation? did u find someone better? why’re you so okay with all of this? was i never even that important to you? why did u lead me on? why did u hurt me so badly and hurt me the same exact way u said u wouldnt. do u ever think abt me? do u ever think abt coming back to me? all of these questions i want to know the answer to but i just can’t know them. a part of me still has a little bit of hope that you’d come back but deep down i know u aren’t. you’re not good for me. and i still love you. i wish i could hate you for all that u did. every time i remember a memory i smile but then i remember that you’re gone. i’m still so confused on how i feel and at the end of the day my mind always comes back to you. i wonder if i ever meant anything more to you than just friends. i had sm love for you and i still do and i still care abt you so so much but you’re not good for me anymore. you don’t bring me happiness anymore. instead you’ve hurt me so badly especially when i needed u the most. u were my comfort and i still want u to come back but i know it’ll never ever be the same. i’m trying so hard but it’s so tiring. please just tell me why. just why. i’m tired of waiting for someone who doesn’t care abt me, someone who doesn’t love me, someone who probably think abt me anymore. i wanna go back and talk to you once more. wake up from a bad dream and rush to my phone bc you were my comfort. having a bad day and immediately going to you bc you were my comfort. key word, “were” something bad happened the other day and i was so upset and i immediately thought of you and how badly i just wanted to go to you. i wanna talk to you and i know i have the opportunity to go and text u rn but i don’t even think i’d get a response. plus it’s not worth it. i cant chase you. i can’t force you to love or want me. i want to be good enough for people to stop leaving me so easily. it’s so draining bc i love so hard. then they just leave. i explained how badly i was hurt and i thought you’d be different. but you’re the same person you said you wouldn’t be. you changed. and i still love you. i wish i didn’t. if one day you texted me, needing me i’d immediately run to you with no questions asked. if the tables were turned it’d be a different story. why do i love so hard. just for them to leave.