Unsent messages to KEVIN

I miss you everyday. I always wonder how long our first hug would’ve been or our first kiss. I won’t love anyone the way that I loved you.

i’m sorry for how i treated you. i was so insensitive and manipulative i regret everything i did to you

i still can’t get over you and it’s been a while after we broke up, even tho you hurt me i still want you.

you haven’t been much of a dad to me for a while now. i miss you. i miss laughing with you. i wish you’d talk to me.

I know we didn’t work out but you didn’t have to tell me you loved me and keep leading me on when you knew you didn’t want anything serious with me.

I’m so sorry for how we are right now. I really did think everything was going to be okay but love really blinded me this time. I wish I hated you but I hope you’re doing well and you get better. All of the things we talked about for your future, go out and get them. You got this, don’t ever give up on yourself. I tried my very best but you put me in the same spot I was trying to take you out of.

It hurt..to let you go. To move on with my life after I left I realized my worth. Years ago you broke the promise you made to me and since that day we never were the same. You broke me. I still feel an empty spot and the memories flow in the back of my head. But honestly what hurt the most is that I needed you through all the hard times. I guess I will always be the second option..

i wish i never met u. at the same time i’m glad i did you taught me how not to love and not to trust so easily

You were really my 1st love. You meant the whole world to me ?. We had a future planned ahead of us. We even named our babies ?. Why did we have to break up? I miss you every minute of the day. I wish we could go back in time and fight for our relationship ?. I wish you the best in everything

There will never be enough space for me to fit how much I want to say to you after 17 years. You’re a part of who I am.

i thought it would get easier but it hasn't. i really need you. i never told you that. why can't i stop crying?

You were the only guy I considered my friend but you stoped talking to me kinda since I started talking to this boy who now I'm dating :l

dreaming without you

I used to have this recurring dream
That I’m running to you
I jump into your arms and you hold me tight

But now in my dreams
I’m being buried alive
Dark blue waves pull me under the surface
I gasp for air
But the water is engulfing me
I grab onto your shirt
Begging you to stay
But someone rips you away from me
I scream your name
But my voice echoes back in the darkness
I run to your outstretched arms
But I never get any closer

A single tear rolls down my cheek
And lands on your ash white face
You lay in your coffin
I hold your cold hand in mine
It’s the last time we are together

Nightmares ravage my sleepless nights
My own sobs startle me awake
My pillow is soaked with tears
I could make the dreams stop
But they are all I have left of you
In my nightly terrors
You kiss my lips one final time

You made me believe love is supposed to hurt. I'm so glad you left me before I fell more in love with you.