Unsent messages to JOSEPH

sorry for being so clingy. i still like you a lot even though we don’t talk or see each other at all :/

i wish you would have stayed. we would have made it if we just held on. it’s been so long but i still miss you

no matter how much you hurt me, i still love you. i’ve loved you at your worst and i’ll continue to love you at your best

Yo si quería intentarlo, pero he cambiado y no eres mi tipo, me había enamorado de ti, que tonta fui.

you had the abilty to make me forget my problems, when I was drowning from them the most. you pulled me up from a place where I never thought id leave, and for that I'm thankful for you.

i thought u actually liked me but every time i forgave you you showed me otherwise. i’m done being your second option.

i knew every time you had feelings for me. it was obvious, yet i chose to ignore it to salvage our friendship. i don’t know why i tried to save it every time because it’s clear that you’ll develop feelings each time i get closer to you. sure, i may have thought i liked you back a couple times, but i don’t think i actually did. i think i mistook platonic feelings for romantic ones. i also think you’re my twin flame, which is good and bad, because we’ll forever be drawn to each other, but we would be horrible together. absolutely toxic. for the time being, i cannot allow myself to be close to you because when i think of all the weird things you’ve done in the past, i cant forgive that.

Me enseñaste el amor por primera vez y me aleje por miedo, disculpa que las cosas hayan sucedido de esa forma

falling in love with you showed me that i’ve never actually been in love before. thanks for finding me when i needed you the most.

hey joseph. if your ever thinking of coming back into my life, sending an imy text, facetiming me, don’t. just don’t. toooooo fucking bad if u want me, if you wanted me so FUCKING bad maybe u shouldn’t have treated me like a replaceable option i deserve the fucking WORLD and u can’t give that to me because you simply, don’t care enough. i’m so fucking tired of going back to you and letting you treat me like GARBAGE when i know deserve to be treated so much better. i really thought you were my person, but yk what joseph? you’ll never be, because i need better.

Its weird to think last summer i was infatuated with you. When now even typing your name feels wrong. Weird to think i use to spend so much time thinking about you, how we were gonna spend our future, excited for all the future plans you promised me. You talked about me like you wanted me to be yours forever. I knew you wanted me, and maybe its my ego, but there is no way you would do all of that, for what? i literally racked my brain thinking, trying to see if there was any point where it felt like you werent as infatuated with me. Anyways i hate you, or not hate you, but, i dont necessarily wish the best for you. You were my first, and at that time it wasnt that bad, but boy are you lucky i never talked to anyone before, cause i wouldve zooted tf out of there if i knew all that wasnt normal. Anyways, thanks for the memories, no thanks for the shitty end, that hurt dickhead, and over text? said you wanted to be friends? wasnt in the right head space? you shouldve gave me the closure i needed. Anyways, hate you, very glad im in love with someone who truly shows mw what love really should feel like. bye forever :)

You hurt me in ways that still effect me today but I also understand I messed up a few things too, why do you think i unblocked you..I hope you finally came out.

i’m sorry we grew apart, but i’ll always remember you as my first love, even if we were never together :)

I miss your voice messages and the weird videos of you showing me your outfit of the day. Can we go back to that?

thank you for treating me like a princess. you give me butterflies everytime you smile when you kiss me

I had to use your middle name because your first name is too unique; I miss you and everything that we had. You taught me love and what it meant to be loved and I'm forever grateful. Let's find our way back to each other one day, okay?

Could we meet in the yellow rose field, just once more, so I can remember again what you felt like? That is, if it's possible... I'll cherish you forever however, with my beaten heart.

hi, i know today isnt the best for you like at all and i am so sorry for that. I know that i couldnt do a lot to help you and you cant really do much to help it either and that sucks total #ass. but i know that ur strong guy and can do it. youve got your friends and your parents and me :) and ik that probably is overused and stuff but idk youll always have me and im here for you whenever. all the time whenever you need me im here and i know that i cant physically be with you all the time but you can always text me or call me whenever you need. I will always be here for you ill always have your back no matter what happens im with you. look i know that some stuff happens that isnt good at all but im here to stay with you. im in this relationship for good. we need to be ready for the good and bad days and the days we fight and the days we criticize one another but im here for it. there is nothing that you could do that would make me not love you anymore. there is not a single thing on this earth that would make me hate you or not want to be with you. joseph i want you to know how important you are to me and how special you make me feel and how loved and cared for i feel when im with you. when im with you i still get butterflies in my stomach because im so excited to be with you. just like the first day we met when you were wearing your green and blue glasses that you hated. i remember how akward and sweaty i was. and i remeber when you asked me to be your girlfriend. you had me scared for a second i really thought that you were gonna be calling someone else but then i got that call and you asked me to be your girlfriend and those really sucky pictures we took because we had to stay kinda far away. but on the second time we met was when we had our first kiss together. that was so awkward all the times i went in and didnt kiss you cos i didnt wanna mess it up. so i know today is a really tough day and i dont mean to make it worse i just want you to be okay you know it makes me sad when your hurting because youre mine and youre my everything and i cant just drive to your house and give you a hug. i love you with my whole heart you mean the world to me. i hope tomorrow is a better day. i love you.

this isn't really love as in a relationship way but deeper we were just friends and never more it was never gonna be us and we both new it absolutely no one knew about what either of us was going threw nobody but each other you helped me through the darkest times in my life all i would need is one notification i would hope your name would pop up every time

we would stay up all night texting, often pulling all nighter's we knew each other since the beginning of primary but only noticed each other this year

you didn't know this but you were the only one i could trust and you still are the only person i told about my life we promised each other not to tell anyone and we would spill secrets and old memories threw the screen you made the lowest point in my life one of the best years ever

even though i told you about my life i never got to know about yours, i would always ask but you changed the subject if only i would have noticed sooner that you skipped meals everyday that you wore jumpers and hoodies all through summer,how i was too caught up in my life to notice how bad yours was, you changed my life for the better and i was just annoying to you i was the one building up on your problems you were trying too be good enough for me without knowing you were perfect to me in every single way i regret not checking in on you more and i promise you i am trying for you and you only so please just try for me,your fading away,your not the joseph i know

i just want to say i love you more than anything,thank you,and please don't leave me we need each other

You were and are the reason I learned love never hurts, it's what comes next or never happened that hurts.

Sometimes i feel like you get mad at me because im not her... and i just feel so unsure when we arent together

ok, so, There wasnt really much between you and me, there wasnt any deep feelings between us because your a man whore and ur a bitch and a player but, i genuinely care about you. I may not admit this to anybody but I keep coming back to you, not romatically, but i always like it when we talk, its such a good vibe and it truly makes my day. I have never ever said this out loud or even admit this to someone but sometimes i get excited when ur name pops up, well before, and everytime u would ask to come over to my house i would get butterflies from the moment u text me to the moment u show up at my door, and i know whatever we do it wrong in my end because im sorta involved with somebody but before i couldnt say no to you, maybe because ive waited so long for that moment and i couldnt hold back, idk. To be honest with you, I love you, but not in a way people may think, i love you to the point where ill be there for you when u need me, like you were there for me with the whole yah situation, anyway ahahahahah i guess what im trying to say is that i love our friendship and I guess I love you

I'm sorry I couldn't tell you that you were my best friend, and that i'm grateful that you were there for me.

i miss you so much bro i just want the old you back the old us back. i hate how we created a friend and then relationship and now back to strangers again.

I think about you everyday , the way ur voice and laugh comforts me , the way you find a way to reassure me that you love me :( I love you but I know we met at the wrong time , ur my lover but till we meet again, see you on the other side.

I miss you so much. you said you would never replace me but you did anyways. i wish you would talk to me again. I know how much you hate being called this, but i love you bud.

... i don’t even know where to start. it’s crazy how close we were freshman year and now you only talk to me for hw... you were one of my closest friends and now i mean nothing to you.

this is your favorite color. i wish you the best in ur life whether im part of it or not. i love u more

I have feelings for you and I hope you feel the same way for me. It aches so much for you to not know how i feel.

sometimes you ask me why i miss fall of last year so often. i manage to find a different lie everytime because the truth is i miss us.

the competitors for the strongest emotions i've ever felt would either be the happiness or the sadness you made me feel.

i forgave you after our first fight, every single one of them. you didn't deserve my forgiveness all those times but i loved you.

this time, last year, we were happier than ever. i can't live through october without thinking of you. the walks in the forest, the comfort your hugs brought, your warm hands, your home-like scent, your soft hair, how you'd ignore your friends when they made fun of us, the moments behind the bookshelves, all the sacrifices i made for you and all the risks i took. i'll never forget.

i love you, but i don’t think i’m in love with you. it’s strange but it hurts to think of you with someone else, i get jealous but i’m not even attracted to you,,, i don’t know. i do love you though

How dare you take advantage of my kindness. You knew how broken I was, so why would you hurt me even more?

cuando te conocí, de verdad me enamore de ti que decidí huir por miedo a fallarte, dos años después me di cuenta que cada vez que te veo mi mundo cambia, deje que alguien te hiciera daño y te cambiara, ojala vuelva el niño del que me enamore, el que me prometió el cielo y las estrellas, me arrepiento de ser tan cobarde pero eras todo lo que un día soñé y tuve tanto miedo, es verdad que cuando uno se enamora siente mariposas cada vez que esa persona lo mira, cuando sane tu corazón ojala yo siga esperándote.

thank you for being my rock & the best person to enter my life. i love u endlessly, u are my saving grace.

thank you for being my rock & the best person to enter my life. i love u endlessly, u are my saving grace.

i was always fearful that one day you would see me the way i saw myself. i guess my biggest fear came true

No sé cómo empezar a decir todo esto, pero en el fondo te quise como nadie en el mundo, eras mi prioridad, no me importaba lo que decían de ti, te quería solo a ti, mientras tu solo me despreciabas, solo te quiero decir que traté de darte lo mejor de mi, cargué con tus problemas y aún así me hiciste mucho daño. Espero que nadie te haga lo mismo me que me hiciste a mi, no me gustaría verte pasar por lo que tuve que pasar para comprenderte y quedarme a tu lado. Solo te deseo lo mejor de la vida y valora mucho a las personas que tengas a tu lado que no sabes cuando se van a cansar de estar ahí y se van a ir.
Te quiero.

why did you have to completely degrade me in your break up text? it took me so long to gain back at least an ounce of confidence after you shattered me i wouldn’t wish it on any other girl and of COURSE your name begins with j byeeee ???

Hey. I know its been a while, and by that i mean a week. I miss you. I miss the love i thought we had. My friends think we are soulmates. And i do too. But why are you gone. No question mark... because i know why you're gone, i just dont want to accept it. Come back when you are ready love. I will be waiting. Love, avacado:)

I’m afraid to love again because something inside me is telling me you might come back. I still love you.

it's been almost a year since we broke up. i still love you just as much as i did when i first met you.

I’ve gotten emotionally attached to you and I know you find it so annoying whenever I tell you problems but for some reason you still listen and I hate that it’s so confusing

Why can't you tell me the truth. sometimes I don't know if I believe half of what you say is true. You tell me that no one loves you but yet I see you telling me how much your friends love you. How much your girlfriend loves you, yet you can't trust me. That hurts and sucks that you play me, I trusted you for so many years and I have been there when you needed a friend, I could've have left but I didn't because I still care and love you..but to this day..you are not able to trust your loyal friend..

You never knew I had a crush on you. That's ok. I know you are not the greatest person but I would do anything for you to hug me and tell me it's okay. I hope we can still become friends again because in a way i want you still. i love you.

i hate that we are and still in the same friend group because i get reminded of what happened every time our friend group hangs out; it took me 2 years to get over you, but i think you only dated me out of pity because of how much i liked you. even though i think you did this, you still treated me well and it made me fall for you even more. you are like bittersweet chocolate. please sometimes i wished we never dated or i ever liked you because of all the pain i went through after the break up, but at the same time, this experience taught me confidence and love myself even more so i thank you for that.

It’s crazy how I never saw any wrong in you all I saw in you was perfection. With all my heart I wanted you but the feelings were not mutual i guess i mean you never opened up to me about it i watched you move on time and time again but i just can’t let you go.

i’m sorry for everything that happened. i wish i could go back and do things differently. i regret trying to push a relationship that wasn’t supposed to happen, maybe staying friends was the best option... or maybe it was just meant to happen. i love you more than words can explain and i miss uu more and more everyday bubs