i think i accidently friendzoned you now that i think about it may have insinuated friend like feelings indirectly.. my bad. not good with feelings, or romantic feelings. i did like you like more than a friend, at one point. earlier this year. now im not so certain anymore.

i guess with all the gifts and freebies i gave you i didnt realize how unemotional and platonic i came off. my bad like i said.

i wish our paths will cross again, i know, we both know we were perfect for each other. the timing just was the worst ever. i know you weren't ready but god i miss you. i also know that this, what we had is something i've never experienced before, it's something i'm afraid i won't experience without u. we're meant to be. it just takes time, and i will wait for u. this is worth waiting and fighting for.

I want you to be happy, more than I want you. And it still hurts, but from now on I am letting you go. You are my first love. Now and forever.

this is stuff we would've sent but didn't have enough confidence to right?
here goes I guess,

" ummm so I really like you romantically but if u don't like me back it's okay we just won't ever talk again because that's how I am. I also my ex*es beat the shit out of me and controlled the shit out of me and did other crazy things thats why I act like this. I really am attracted to you and I enjoy our time we spend together a lot. I feel like you get me and I don't need to pretend around you. I feel like u are my little secret from the world, but I'm really jealous. but I won't show it. I feel like you're just like everyone else a lot, but another part of me wants to just be with you too. but of course I don't trust you at all and you have given me multiple scenarios and instances where I will not be able to trust you and let myself go to you. You are a nice fantasy in my head I guess, that no one will ever know about. when people we both mutually know ask me about you, I tell them anything you've said about me is a lie and I don't know you. I'm a bad liar in that sense."

"
I don't really know what to do at this point anymore since so much time has passed and I'm a completely different person since last time I saw you, and where I last saw you still bothers me to this day presently. I don't know what you want, but most of the time I feel you intensely thinking about me. I try to ignore those feelings, but I can't. your thoughts weigh on my shoulders like cinderblocks. I try to shake my own thoughts of you away but it'll just be strange things like seeing the car you drive, or seeing a letter M, little things. I don't know where I'm going with this even with the small probability you will see this, but I need to get this out somewhere. I can't keep being in denial of caring about you. because I do."

you're still too ugly for me. and you've been ran through by random city trash, a bunch of 4/10's. gross hahahaha i aint sharing my energy with your broke ass haahahah

i only fucked you cuz i was bored gave you shit to fuck with your head. it worked didn't it? here you are submitting shit about me a year later. stop embarassing yourself and fix your ego. pulling below average looking girls from tinder isn't an american sport you're just ugly.

when i told u u were good at music and singing, i lied because i wanted to get laid. u suck and sound like a pussy and a sad boy

u should know me by know... with all the time i've spent this year running through ur thoughts, dear....

some how you've schemed your way into my dreams many times this week. i'll never get rid of you it seems you're like a cockroach

maybe I won't ever admit it to you or anyone, but I felt it too, whenever we were together. I won't. I'm in denial and leading someone on because my mind keeps going back to you. But I won't ever admit it.

I really want to be your lover... but we're just not meant together :'D

If things end with you & them: Can we try to restart? I miss you more than you know, Mikael.

I look for you everywhere I go and its painful:(

Why did you have to break me like that? You knew how much I loved you..

I wish you could see how perfect you are in my eyes

I just wanted to say that even though we didn't end up together. I'm still happy that i met you

im in love with you mika, please don't forget me. come back and stay this time. ill do wtv for that

I just want to being that sweet person you loved again.

you never did owe anyone anything. they just hurt you. I hope you read this when you're down.

Do you think about me? It is really unsettling to see you. It is a shame, we are two strangers.

Can we try one last final time, my boy?

...I miss you too

We're going to find out if we graduated on my birthday. I really hope you’ll text me