Unsent messages to GEORGE

i can’t wait to marry you, you’re my person

eyes were only eyes until i looked into yours

I asked you not to hurt me and you did. You haven't realised yet but I am in so much pain. I used to get snaps from you and I'd smile because I felt special and I thought you wanted me for me. Then I realised 10 other girls were probably getting that same snap. And god can I promise you that I'm a manipulative bitch when I'm in pain. So let the games

I asked you not to hurt me and you did. You haven't realised yet but I am in so much pain. I used to get snaps from you and I'd smile because I felt special and I thought you wanted me for me. Then I realised 10 other girls were probably getting that same snap. And god can I promise you that I'm a manipulative bitch when I'm in pain. So let the games

i truly felt something with u.we flirt all the time.u made me feel special.to u it might just have been us messing around but to me it was so much more.i craved to be with u.only for me to find out u were dumb enough to say what u said and defend who u did.a part of my heart will always love u though.goodbye

I wish you told me you loved me when it actually meant something. I wish I could spend one more night with you.

I can't explain why I like you so much and I want to tell you so badly but I don't think we're meant to be together. One day, you'll just be another stranger.

I know you don't care. The more you pretend you do the more it hurts me. You need to leave, because I know I never will.

I feel like I’ve fallen out of love with you but with all honestly I’m not sure if I ever loved you. I don’t want to hurt you but you’re not for me. You’re not the one.

i was kinda hoping to get a text from you saying you loved me back. cause i rly did love you. i still do.

I let you hurt me time and time again and i kept telling myself it was ok. But it wasn't. If you cared at all you would message me and check up on me. But you clearly don't. so you know what? She can have you. You're welcome to each other.

I care about you more than you'll care about me. And now i'm moving on. Don't ever come back into my life.

The sound and sight of your name still sends shivers down my spine. You took a part of me, and made my soul bloom, and it was a feeling no one else will ever make me feel. I love you George.

i still love you despite telling everyone i've moved on. but staying as friends in order to keep you in my life is a better option so i wont lose you.

Fuck You, I never wanna see you again. I cared for even when you fucked me over and you still couldn't stick with a one decent girl, it was more fun to play games. Lots of love just another one of the girls you fucked over.

i thought i knew love before i met you but i was so wrong . i am completely and utterly in love with you george

I loved you more than I could, you completed me and made me whole. I would do anything to be with you. Too bad you weren’t real.

Im back here again, because I miss the way I feel in your arms, all the chaos and pain is muted. Nothing feels real with i'm with you but when im with out the all the pain comes back louder than before. But I know you don't feel the same way about me and its fine. that's what im trying to tell myself anyway

I’m sorry if I was too suffocating. I miss you so much, it has been hard without talking everyday. Miss you. L

i know it hurts to go on without you. i know its something we both have to do and im sorry that i lied to you. im sorry for everything i put you through and i miss you so much but things cant go back to the way they were when i was pretending. i wouldnt give those times back for anything though. i miss you and i hope you are doing well.

it’s all the little things that remind me of you. like red, your favorite color. i always loved learning about you, every single quirk. :’)

I still think about you every day and I hate you for it. I care about you so much but wish we never met.

Look dude I'm not upset we broke up a while ago but it still hurts for me to see you do things in front of me like that especially when a couple days ago u were kissing me like if u really loved her like u say u did u would not even think about doing anything with anyone else but you do you it will catch up with you eventually

I chose a different uni and moved away from you. It is one of the best choices but also the hardest because I always think about you and miss you. Nobody can replace the love we had. But you’ll never contact me again, you blocked me.

I'm sorry I chose to move somewhere else. There is not a day where you don't cross my mind. I'm sorry and I can and never will find the love that we had.

u said if u ever started to do something i didn’t want then say stop... i said stop so why didn’t u stop

You weren't all that good at singing, but if I could listen to you sing in an Irish accent and play the guitar one more time, I would.

Not sure if you’ll ever read this but I’m hoping that you’re doing good. If I’m being honest I hated you up until I realized I just missed you— more than I’d like to admit. I hope life treats you well bub. Good luck in college

hey loser
i don't know what im doing. and no i don't mean writing this, i mean i don't know what im doing still stuck in this hole. j says im in too deep (she knows it all) and i think she's right. but in a way i don't want to leave, i don't want to walk away. i think there's still a part of me that has some hope. you've had a really rough year and i think im using that as an excuse. im telling myself that i can't walk away because what if you need me? what if you need someone to distract you from everything? j tells me you have *her* and that makes sense to me, i know you have her. but i still wonder what if it was me? what if it was me that you told everything to? what if it was me that hugged you that night you found out while you probably cried yourself to sleep? i wanted to be there for you so badly but i had no idea how. and you've been so brave, i don't know how you do it. i don't want to be selfish, im really trying not to be. and i don't want to make you choose either. but i think that's cos a part of me knows you'll choose her. i don't blame you she's gorgeous. she got you through it all. i don't want to make you choose because if you choose her i don't know what ill do with myself. im scared of it honestly. that's why i keep playing this little game of ours. i don't want to lose you, i can't do it. i know i need to though. this isn't good for us. it's not what you need, and it's draining me. every time it gives me that tiny little bit of hope. you know me, that tiny little bit of hope is crushing. i know that us ending this will just make everyone's lives easier. but i just can't bring myself to do it. and i think it's starting to hurt now, it's killing me. i just want what's best for you and i think that it's her. she's what's best for you. i want you to be happy, and even though i think i can do that, i think she can do it better. so we need to stop playing now. i think i want to pull out. but im not 100% certain. just tell me there's something there, please. 'friends' dont talk to each other the way we do. 'friends' dont play the game we're playing. is there something there? or are you just trying to distract yourself? i need to know, but i don't know if i can handle the answer. you're killing me, but the only problem is im letting you.

i’m sorry for not noticing you were suffering as much as me, i just got myself involved with the wrong people and was always trying to get out of the holes they constantly dug for me, my dear brother i’m sorry i couldn’t protect you from anything, we had a really traumatic past and everyday it’s on my mind. i was supposed to leave first and you were supposed to live. it’s oldest goes first right? that’s what you always said, george i love you i wish i could of told you everyday when you were alive so maybe you would still be here, one day i’ll come visit you and we can live together where no one can hurt us okay? just wait for me georgie, ur big sister will be with you again one day. i really love you george, i’m sorry i’m so sorry for everything that’s happened to you. i’ll wait for the right time so i can kill myself with no interruptions just like you did, i’ll make sure it works and then i will get to see my little brother again. love, c

I blame you for pepper being one of my comfort characters.
I sit here and I wonder do you still love tony?
Do you secretly get happy when I message?
Because I do.
I miss the way you treated me like I was your sun
I miss the way I'd work a shift to be excited to message you when I was done
I miss the way you smile
Your laughter, your hugs
I miss your little kisses
And the way you felt like home
You still feel like home to me
But im not home to you
And now I sit here one year on
Thinking
Am I still pepper to you?

i love you. i always will. thank you for everything. thank you for making me feel loved and appreciated . i never thought someone could ever make me feel that way. i was so in love with you but you never made it clear. were u only flirting with me for fun? u "promised" we would get married and live in italy. u said we would meet or hangout one day, cuddling and listening to boy pablo. u promised that you would love me forever? did you actually mean it?? "it hurts not being with you" "im so proud of you" "i love you". u were my first love loser. you're the only one whom i actually fell in love with. ive never loved someone else as much as i loved you. the fact that we were just "friends" just hurts me even more. it feels like i shouldnt be hurting like this. we never dated. deep down i know u loved me too. right? u made me feel like it, there's no way friends would say things like that to each other. i wish i can give u a hug for once. i miss those days. summer '20. you were my first love but i need to let you go. i dont think i can do that right now though..my world is falling apart and i cant lose you right now. but maybe if i let go of the past that we had then i wouldnt have to be in pain anymore, i wouldnt have to be crying about how i wish u still felt the same. i hope u realize how much i loved you. thank you for making me smile. i love you loser

I feel like I could have saved you, like I could have fixed you with my bare hands. You taught me how deeply I can love. But I know what you do to your girlfriends now. You became just like your father and it still breaks my heart.

i did like you i really did and im sorry i ended things like that, there is nothing in my life i regret more than sending that text but now youve changed and im not sure if its because of me but if id said yes to you back then there is no doubt in my mind that you would have dropped me immediately. i think me ending things first was a way of protecting myself but thats no excuse for acting how i did and im sorry

i just wish i knew how you truly felt. and deep down i do, i just don’t want to accept that we may never be together.

I am finally over you. when I hear your name, it doesn’t send my heart up my throat. I am numb. you did not give me the love I deserved and I understand that now. I don’t know why I waited so long expecting you to come back and change for me. someone else came and showed me exactly how I should be treated, and I couldn’t be happier. everything happens for a reason, and you were only meant to be a chapter in my story.

i wish you wouldn’t have done that. i wish i could’ve helped you. i wish our conversations would have worked. but now you’re gone and i am miserable. you know, i used to hate you for what you did because i could never fall in love with anyone ever again. but now i’m not mad at you anymore. i wish you would have given life a chance. i miss you so much. i can’t talk to anyone about you without breaking down . i don’t live in our hometown anymore but sometimes i drive these four hours just to go to our place. you know which one i’m talking about. mostly on late friday nights. just to smoke there and sometimes i act like you’re next to me. but recently i’ve met this person and they’re pretty awesome. i think i’ll give them a chance. i hope you don’t mind because i’ve waited 3 years. i didn’t even look at other people in that way but i want to try. i want to try to be happy again. and even if i may fall for someone new you will always be the love of my life. believe me. i will always love you, georgie.

I know I don't say this, like ever but I really like you, like a lot, ew I'm so cringe. Anywayss Im like 90% sure I love you but tbh it depends what you define love as. what im trying to say is I love you but I don't think u feel the same.

I want to know wether you meant what u said. Would you really want to stay together after we leave school or were you just drunk and hopeful

I miss you everyday. I miss waking up to your smile. I miss your little stupid jokes. I want to come back, but there’s some things that won’t change.

You had feelings for me and they left you. The night I dreamt of you, you told him they were gone. Was it at the same time, George? Did you feel it happen? Whatever chance I had, I missed it. I missed it. I missed it. I missed you, didn't I?

I saw it in your stupid, pretty face, I saw that for a moment, you wanted it to come true. You wanted it to be me, kissing you. Right? Or...am I doing this, again? You were never serious about wanting me. Even when I asked. Even when you lied. Would you lie to me, George?

I talked to my mom about you, she still wants you over for dinner, you know.

Sometimes all I think about is you.

Why did you send that song to me, George? Really? I can't get it out of my head. Was it all joke? Did you know that it would undo me? Did you try to hurt me? That's not fair, I know I'm just angry, all the time, because I know I was closer to you than I ever thought I’d be. And it terrified me. It still terrifies me, but...you're not here, anymore. You're not here, and I can't think, and I can't keep doing this.

If it was all for nothing then I should just tell you everything. Maybe I should just fuck everything up.

I sent a really long gay one to make up for the negative one I sent earlier but I think it messed up, so erm if I did and it doesn't appear then I just wanted to say that I love you more than anything and I'm sorry that im too clingy I'm really trying to stop. I wanted to say that you're genuinely best boi and the best person to ever exist and I love you. Also please start singing again I've had to start going to sleep to music when I'm alone and i really just wan you singing uwu. Also if you see this imma be so embarrassed but yknow we just had a maisve. Breakdown and haven't sleep so idc rn. Anyways yh ily

You were the first one to treat me properly. You made me feel loved and wanted ever since you messaged me asking to help me out with my coursework. You listened to me ramble and you always accepted me. I made a mistake breaking up with you. Ive tried to keep in contact with you because you said you wanted to still be friends but it feels like nowadays you couldnt care less about me. I still love you. I will always love you. And it really hurts me

I'm sorry I'm making things too difficult for you and you can't tell me anything I'm trying not to it's just so fucking difficult to be alive right now, I love you so much doe

I love you, I’m just afraid of ruining our friendship. I wish you wouldn’t to leave, I want you in this life, not the next.

i loved you so much but i never told you , i feel like id never be able to date you because we dress very differently, you liked the popular girls and i wasn’t one of them.

you were the first and only person i have ever had true feelings for. right person at the wrong time i guess. i just thought i should let you know incase you ever see this, that i know i never really showed it but words cannot describe how much i love you. the only reason i ended things was because at the time i hated myself so much to the point where i pushed everyone away (including you) because if i couldn't love myself then i wasn't sure that anybody else could. but now looking back at things you were the only person that made me happy. i still remember all the little things. when you got back in touch and asked to facetime me i panicked all day and the only reason i kept making excuses after that was because i knew that i would probably fuck things up. i mean i did either way didn't i... anyways i hope one day we talk again, and if not then i just wanted to say i love you :(

To George. Thank you. Thank you for being there for me, even when I wasn’t there for you (yes, i deeply regret it). Thank you, for always being able too put a smile on my face. I think about you everyday, and the fact that I didn’t call. I hate that. I hate thinking about you. Our time was spent so... selfishly. If I could, I would do anything too savor the feeling of your hand in mine, or your lips on mine - really, I’d savor anything that happened between us. I remember your favorite color was blue - mine was pink. We would get in playful fights about that. Remember? I hope you do. I understand if not. I miss you. Please, come home.

it hurts when i think about you, i genuinely thought u cared about me but yet you picked her. F you for getting my hopes up, i hate u (i wish i meant that)

you promised and said so much you didn't mean and that hurt me more than you could ever imagine. it seemed like you'd gone from the person i cared about most to a person i wanted to be able to care about but you made it so difficult. i loved you so much it hurt. i wish you didn't go back on the things you said because i really took them to heart and it hurt me a lot when you did. that's it for now i guess. there's two people in you and i hated one with all my heart and loved the other so much but it was difficult waiting for the normal you to come back