Unsent Messages

i love you. i always will. thank you for everything. thank you for making me feel loved and appreciated . i never thought someone could ever make me feel that way. i was so in love with you but you never made it clear. were u only flirting with me for fun? u "promised" we would get married and live in italy. u said we would meet or hangout one day, cuddling and listening to boy pablo. u promised that you would love me forever? did you actually mean it?? "it hurts not being with you" "im so proud of you" "i love you". u were my first love loser. you're the only one whom i actually fell in love with. ive never loved someone else as much as i loved you. the fact that we were just "friends" just hurts me even more. it feels like i shouldnt be hurting like this. we never dated. deep down i know u loved me too. right? u made me feel like it, there's no way friends would say things like that to each other. i wish i can give u a hug for once. i miss those days. summer '20. you were my first love but i need to let you go. i dont think i can do that right now though..my world is falling apart and i cant lose you right now. but maybe if i let go of the past that we had then i wouldnt have to be in pain anymore, i wouldnt have to be crying about how i wish u still felt the same. i hope u realize how much i loved you. thank you for making me smile. i love you loser