Unsent messages to ADAM

I like you. Like a lot. And I don’t really know why. There’s nothing special about you, you’re not even that attractive. I found you quite boring actually. So why is it that now I get butterflies every time I see you, getting exited every time you notice me. I find myself dreaming about staring at you, deep into your eyes, Wanting to count every single freckle on your face. The voice I once got annoyed by is now all I want to hear. I miss catching you staring at me with such a sweet and lovely stare. Where has it gone? And why have I just realized that I am in love with you when it’s already too late. What is wrong with me??? :(

i hate knowing that you dont think of me as much as i think of you. you hurt me so much but i still want you back.

i have to submitting these to you but i can’t stop thinking about the walmart trip and how you still chose her over me

I should’ve written this a long time ago. You’re a dick. I know my worth, and I will never be second place. Stop crawling back to me, I won’t always be here waiting.

i never told you, but im deeply in love with you. if i could date you, i would never think twice. the way things are between us now is killing me

i know you said you would never go out with me because you had standards but deep down i know its because you liked me and was scared :(

You were such an asshole I can’t believe I let you be my first. I should’ve dated that one chick instead.

Since the first time I saw you 12 years ago, you have been living in my head and heart. Like a spider that I am terrified of but don't have the courage to capture with my own hands and release. So I let it live in my room. And I carry on with life, and at first it's scary, but after some time it becomes ordinary & I just accept that it is here to stay or that one day I may grow enough to pick it up myself and release it.

But I am not there yet.

And when all the other relationship's end with other men, I always seem to cry about you.

You said you didn’t want to hurt me. So I act like you didn’t. But you broke me. And you’re the only person who can put me back together.

You are the moon to my stars. I love you so much. It sucks not being yours. I wanna love you and show you off to the world. I miss you so much:( I will love you forever

I wish that you would have just left me alone if I wasn't the one you really wanted from the beginning...

i really like u but i’m to scared to say anything your one of my best mates i don’t wanna ruin anything between us or your gf i like u sm and i just wanna know if u feel the same

i have loved u for so long and i really wanna tell u but it’s going to ruin the years of friendship i hope u feel the same way x

i overthought it , i let my own irrational thoughts decipher your feelings towards me, and now i’m too scared to try and talk to you again , i miss you

hey adam, it's been a while since i've talked to you but i wish i could talk to you more. i know we have practically nothing in common but still i'm sure we could become really close one day. i just miss being with you. i really like your eyes and smile (that was just something random i wanted to add.)

I just really really liked you and wanted to know what your hand felt like holding mine, if even for a minute. sorry

i feel like you don't want to be my friend sometimes. like idk u only talk to me about ruby or wanting to fuck. maybe things would be different if i wasnt friends with alana. i hope you know i consider dropping her for you. because even when it seems you dont like me that much u still make my day better.

if you are seeing this, it's who u think it is. idk what happened to us, but I lost u. I miss u. no guy compares to the way I felt about you and what we had. but oh well. have fun at skool.
call me

I wish I could be as happy as I was before you came into my life. You were a waste of time and I regret opening my heart to someone so cruel and ungrateful.

You have no idea how happy you make me. All I want to do is fall into your arms and kiss you until all my troubles are away. I want to dance in the rain with you, talk at 3am about life. I want you to rescue me from this hell hole. I just want you to love me the way I love you

i loved you more than anyone and anything in my whole life. i trusted you with my heart and you broke it repeatedly. i don't believe I will ever find love again after you. i cant be alone with guys because I'm scared they will do the same you did to me. fuck you.

saw you for the first time in a couple of months. you turned your head like you couldn't believe what you just saw.

your name haunts me. i can barely say it. i wish you'd leave me alone. i truly loved you but you couldn't return it. somehow that is my fault

Many people have told me they love me and would never leave me, when you said it I wanted it so badly to be true.

listen your good to me even though were not together but i told you i dont like you but you still dont understand that

Pink. Soft and pretty. It’s how I’d describe you. You’re seasonal just like cherry blossoms, and for me, I can’t handle changes. I loved you a lot, but just like how seasons change, I’ve changed now. Thank you for being the first person I ever truly loved.

Please please please just hold me and kiss me and do everything you say you will when we see eachother lol

it kind of feels like you came into my life when i wanted/needed someone the most. even if there’s distance, promise you won’t leave?

Im sorry i was so terrible but i really was and am so sick. i shouldnt of held on for so long. i loved u so hard but you betrayed me so many times. i wish you were still the same. maybe you wish i was the same still too.

i hope you know that even though i wasn't what you wanted i would still give you all my happiness and take away any sadness or negativity you have and give it myself because you deserve nothing but the best.

hiii it's me again, i just remembered the time freshman or sophomore year when we like held hands for a second (i'm sure it was just as a joke for you tho haha) but in that moment i felt something that i'd never felt before. i really felt something special in that moment. i seriously really like you and i want you to know that. i wish we could be together.

heyyy it's me again, i just really like you and i'm thinking about you again. i really love your smile and how it can brighten anyone's day. i love how energetic you are (even tho it can be a little too much sometimes.) i love how lighthearted you are and how you can always take a joke. i love how sweet you are and how you're so kind to those around you. and how you're so smart and great at so many things it's just amazing. i wish that i could be with you but me being queer doesn't exactly add up with you being straight and having a gf. i just love you and i hope that one day i could be so lucky as to find a man like you that could love me back.

i know that you will never love me back because you're straight (and you have a gf haha) but i just wanted you to know that i like you. like i really like you. and i have liked you for like two years now. i don't want you to be creeped out bc i know i will never (i could never) act on those feelings. but i just wanted to tell you this because i'm tired of holding it back and i don't want to keep it a secret any longer. i know that some day i will find someone who will reciprocate the feelings i have for him. but yeah. i like you and i know it's wrong but that's just how i feel and i can't really do anything about it except for talking about it.

I'm mad at you. You ruined me. I ruined me too. Everything you've ever said, I've thought about it too much and it tears me apart. I always tell myself that not everything is about myself and that I should just stop and so many other things that stop me from being me. You make me feel like a fool. I hate you and how you hurt me. I miss what we had though. Not the lovey dovey stuff but our friendship. I always had someone to talk to even if I didn't even get the chance to say what i really wanted. I don't think you realise how much you actually emotionally manipulated me. If it weren't for your ways of making me feel guilty, I would've left a year ago. I stayed because i hated seeing you so sad, ad knowing i was the reason made me feel so horrible. This time I walked away because I decided I couldn't let myself be brought even more down. You treated me as if I'm a child and had no idea what i was talking about. Ofc I knew who I was talking to, that's exactly what angered me. The fact a person I knew and loved so much believed it was ok to disrespect women like that. You disrespected me. It felt like you were calling me an object, especially how you know I've done that stuff before. I'm listening to one of your playlists right now. I don't know if it's about me and it's driving me crazy. I'm sorry if I made you feel so upset, I don't really understand why but sure. If you're so upset, why not just text me?? I hope you text me on my birthday. Won't be surprised if I'm even around then, nothing is going right.

you half assed everything to me and pretended to like me. you thought of your ex when we kissed. and i thought the world of you

Did you really like me? or did you just toy with my feelings? You are, unfortunately, the reason why I started to have trust issues and avoid commitment (again - which by the way, took me a long time to get over the same from a previous guy). You had a girlfriend the whole time, yet you continued to treat me as if I could play an important part of the future. It took me months to get over you, and then all of a sudden I get a call from you? Seriously, what is going on. You have me wrapped around your finger, and I think, for a moment, you knew that and took advantage of it. Now that some time has passed, maybe you don't know it anymore, but I am still here. If you say something, anything, I will drop everything and run to you. And that's what sucks because you are still with her and I have nothing against her, she's absolutely amazing... I just wish it was me.

Hey, I miss you. I didn't want to ruin our friendship so, I never told you. Keep in mind that I'll always be here for you, even if you pick another girl. :):

you humiliated and abandoned me. i will not be made a fool again. especially from some bitch ass mf like you

I was tired of being your back up plan. I was tired of trying to fix us. I was tired of waiting for you to come back, only for you to leave again.

you were right when you said things changed between us, but thats on you. I was there, youre the one who left

I wish I could tell you how much you mean to me and how many times I have to stop myself from telling you I love you more than anything. But I can’t, you’re with her.

i don’t know if i’m hopelessly in love with you or just bored, either way i cant get you out of my mind

Also I'm doing so much better now. I'm sorry for how I treated you. Sometimes I want to reach out and apologize but I don't think it would be healthy for either of us or that you would want to hear from me at all. I went through a year and a half of pain and healing to get to where I am now. I'm with someone who makes me happy now too :)

It hurts to know I was right about everything but I'm happy you found your way back to her. I'm glad you're happy and doing good, honestly.

you were my first love & first heartbreak. you hurt me more than ever but i would still give you everything in the world if you needed it.

i wish you knew how much you saved me. you made me feel happy even when i was at my lowest you just didn’t know it..

for a while, i didn't know what I was going to do w/out u. but w/out u, ive been able to grow. i just hope u can too. all the best.

I thought we had something, but we went from best friends to nothing at all. I chose you over my bestfriend. YOU

it sucks getting jealous about all of the little things. you have friends and it seems like you want to talk to them more than me. not that i can blame you, its just that it would be nice if you wanted me around as much. it's always "oh lets get --- on", but i cant imagine those words coming out with my name in the place of hers. oh, pick me.

hey homie. i thought we were just best friends but now i think i like you and i want to kiss you and idk how to tell you and i know you still love her and don’t like me and i have hope but i know i shouldn’t. halloween changed everything and nothing. can we just go back to preschool