Unsent messages to NATHAN

you know what. i hate you so much. we were perfect, we were the couple everyone wanted to be. i felt so loved, i don’t feel love easily but you could express to me perfectly. it’s been a whole ass month and i still can’t over the fact that the last time i’ll ever get to hold you hand was in the back of my jeep. the last time i’ll have your arm around me i didn’t care enough to appreciate it. i was so happy. you made me so happy. i’ve been so shitty i completely lied today. i stopped eating, i can barley sleep without my body pillow being you and i can’t stop comparing your blue eyes to his. he’s so perfect for me, he’s amazing and sweet and everything you weren’t. but i still would do anything in the world to be on you basement couch watching the office or walking to kimmers to get stuff. i’d give up anything that i could to know your still mine. i hate you nathan. i hear you in every single song, there isn’t one i can’t hear you in. even songs we didn’t listen too. did you delete your playlist? i hope you didn’t. i hope your reminded of every song we listened to together and every song that made me feel close to you. just come back.

Hey, i miss you and i really want to meet you. You are literally the only person who can make me smile. You make me genuinely laugh. Sometimes i miss you even tho i have not met you yet. bu i love you

i fell so deeply in love with you. you broke me for a while there, and I'm picking up the pieces 11 months later but even after all that hurt, I would take you back in a heartbeat. i look for you in every new guy i meet when i would rather just have you. you are the only person i ever saw myself having a future with and i still only see you. i tell myself i need to get over it already but i truly believe you were the one for me.

welp we're back back.....honestly i feel super cringy writing these but yeah anyway here goes nothing. why in the world do you do this!!! yeah you literally act like you care then the next day your like dang today I feel like ignoring you. why?? yeah just thought id share that

The day i met you, I was so close to just ending it, then you came, and i found a reason to stay. You made my life amazing for 2 months.Everyday I wish I could see you. You meant so much to me and I hate that I met you so young, and when I am not allowed to date. Your hugs made me feel safe and secure, I hate that you had to be a secret.. I could go on and on, but I wont... thankyou for saving my life..

ive slept with 7 new guys since we broke up 3 weeks ago. i wonder how many bandaids ill keep putting on this bleeding gash that comes from missing you.

its weird not facetiming you everyday-- i was so used to receiving your call everyday for a year but something just happened. you stopped calling and i took that for granted. I'm sorry. sometimes i think about calling you late at night but i don't want to disturb you. i should've told you that i liked you before we let each other go. i miss you and hope to talk to you again. -

Tu m'a brisé le coeur de nombreuses fois et pourtant mon amour pour toi n'as pas changé. Tu me manque. Tu me manque tellement putain.

I miss you so much. I wish I could hold you one last time. I wish you fought for the little we had left. I still love you.

hey loser. i dont know if you'll find this when your sad like I read all of them with the name jenny. why'd you leave. seriously. i loved you so much and i know thats silly for someone thats 14 to say but i felt love when i was with you. when we would run around and play tag around your pool table or you sitting on top of me. how'd you let all of that go. we were the perfect love story. i get you wanted to work on yourself but why'd you have to start smoking weed. you knew i'd hate it but you wouldn't thought about me during that. even though you've made me cry so many times i'll always have a heart built for my bubs. i hope you do miss me or i get over you, which ever one comes first i'd like it to be soon. i have so many guys hitting me up but no one of them are my black haired blue eyes goof i'd grown to love. why can't they be u.

You're not the type to read this or write one. But I am.
Some people say love is like a rollercoaster, but I guess ours was one of those rides that bring you high enough to see the entire city and then drop you back to where you started. The rise up was so much fun. We did all the fun lovey-dovey stuff that you see in the movies. I told you I loved you, you said it back, and I thought everything was perfect. I even met your parents. But I guess our fast rise was doomed to a fast crash. I was so engaged with the idea of being in love that I ignored the things that really bothered me. I like my own music even though you don't. I take care of myself even though you said I don't. I love my friends even though you don't. I like being a liberal, you like Trump. I just wish you didn't break me down and say you weren't in love with me even after months of I love yous. Couldn't you have just waited to say it back if you didn't mean it? Now I'm left picking up the pieces of my heart like the pieces of clothing you always left at my place. Like the rise and fall ride, I got a view of all the city lights and what love could and should look like, so I guess in the end I'm grateful that we came crashing back to the ground and got to walk away from the person I was strapped in with. I never even really liked the rise and drop rides anyway. I still don't. Next time I go on a carnival ride, I hope it's with someone who wants to ride a real rollercoaster instead of putting me through the Tower of Terror.

You were the first boy to tell me I was pretty and it meant a lot to me I am sorry it ended that way I am sorry I couldn't help with what you needed I am sorry I went to ruin things for you I didn't mean for any of that to happen to you I miss you so much

when were together all i can think about is you. i love being with you and i will be there for you no matter what. even though it hurts that it isnt romantically, i'll be with you til the end.

you were the first guy i truly loved and trusted and you broke my heart and my soul. i miss you everyday but i know we can't go back.

you were my everything, my yellow. why'd you have to do that to me, i honestly thought you were the one man..

I miss you. I want to text you again but I’m afraid. I want you in my life still even if it was just friends.

I never got to tell you how much I like you. Hopefully, we meet In another life and maybe then I'll finally be confident and tell you how much I adore you. Bye

even tho we’re not together i think i could love you because every time i fall apart i always end up coming back to you

that day in 7th grade when s dared you to asked me out i knew, i was in love with you. but youll never love me back, and thats okay. ill wait.

i am happy that i am one person who you told your middle name to. i wish that when you asked i said i still love you.

i wish you would just tell me you don't want me. I wish you'd just tell me i'm not good enough to try for. i get you think you're doing what's best for me but how can you think that when i'm telling you it's not? i can decide when i'm getting hurt and i'm not. i'm not gonna beg you to stay with me because that's not who i am, but god nathan please don't do this.

I wish that instead of you crushing yourself with all these emotions , you would understand that I was always here for you. Even though you never saw me like that, I'll always love you in some sort of way.

Was always there for you. Even though I knew it was never going to happen, i'll always stick by yourside no matter what. Through your problems and anything else. I got you through thick and thin man.

There are so many things I could have done differently.. I miss you. You pulled me out of the darkness and I need that more than ever right this very second. Let's make things right.

you make me want to live my life again and i don't know how i'm supposed to tell you that. i don't know how to make it clear to you that ever since you came back into my life, all of the bad things i feel have drifted so far away. i don't know how to tell you all the things i feel but i wish you could know.

When we first met it was love at first sight but you lost feelings 4 months in and I blame myself because I knew this was gonna happen I set myself up for failure again to many times all I wanna do is lay with you and sing love songs and watch movies all night while thinking about are future what did I do to deserve this what does she have that I don't why did you block me why aren't we cool anymore why Can't you love me like you used to love me why do you pick in choose the ones to love and hurt why was I the only one down to ride when you needed me why did I hurt myself tryna save us

why do i let you back in everytime. i know you act the same and never change. you only want me for my body and i give in so you don’t walk out of my life. i need to get over you and find someone better.

I´ll keep my promise, I won´t try chinese food unless I´m with you. I hope we see each other again in some part of the world.

I’ve been watching a lot of tarot cards and it says you will be reaching out. It’s nearly 2 years since I’ve liked you so please, reach out to me before I lose my self.

dude i fucking hate you. you came into my life unexpectedly and you were fantastic to me. but you only wanted me for my body. you and i talked for two weeks and then you said we were better off as friends. i didnt want to be only friends but i had to accept it. yet youd come and tell me you wanted to try things again. it made me so hopeful. yet we'd have sex and then youd end things again. i let that happen four times. four fucking times. i expected you to change, you never did, and i shouldve known. then i found out you were toxic and i lost two of my best friends. you are a lair. youre manipulative, toxic and all around a shitty person. fuck you dude.

i know that you just used me and even though i know that i still like you, you took what you wanted and left

how can you look someone in the eyes and tell them you're not in love with them and expect them to be fine?

It’s been awhile but i still think about you... i hate that it’s over forever... I still love you and always will

i can’t fucking believe you. with her too. one of my best friends. i knew i shouldn’t have trusted you.

I think you're my soulmate. I really do. If we break up then truly, I will never love someone again after you. Not ever. Thank you for loving me. I hope we love each other forever.

For now we're still together. I hope we are forever. We have been through so many tough times. I hope we get through this too. I love you more than anybody in the world. I always have. I always will. I love you to the moon and back, sweetie.

Hey it's me, god where to start? you and I were talking for a bit I was scared to open up and yet I did we dated and you said you weren't going to leave me because you knew how it felt but now its been about three weeks and you haven't texted me I should be used to it before you ended things you didn't talk to me for about three weeks yet your not here and it kills me. You told my best friend you were going too love me and not break my heart yet you left because you were moving and it was stressful you don't see me complaining about my parents getting a divorce because of me or how my dad put his hands on me tramatising me and smashing my phone do you? Yet your the one who left okay yeah sure that's fine you never liked me or cared I get that thanks anyways. Love you, thanks for a good about three months of my life wasted.

i’m scared that when it’s our time, you’ll be with someone else. if it’s not you, it’s nobody. we deserve a chance

i miss you so much and i think about messaging you everyday so i can apologize for how i hurt you. you were my bestfriend and i dont think ill ever have a friendship like ours again. thank you for loving me when you did.

I hate you so much. Why can't you see how in love with you I am? Maybe then you'd stop being such a bad friend.

Why couldn't you just tell me you didn't love me? why did you have to lie to my face? why did you have to get your boys involved in our problems? do you know how much it hurt to hear what you did behind my back? was it worth it? to get rid of me?

I sadly think I love you and I t’s hard that you don’t feel the same. I miss seeing you smile around me

I sadly think I love you and I t’s hard that you don’t feel the same. I miss seeing you smile around me

i just love you sm and i’m always to afraid to face it and i ran away before i could n u replaced me so i suppose it was okay to run away

i wish you just told me instead of letting me hear it through other people. just suddenly uprooting yourself from my life was a shock and it made me so sad.

it’s crazy to me that you don’t know how much you saved me. you gave me something to wake up for and look forward to in one of my darkest times. i can’t thank you enough for that. you’re a light. we drifted but i think about you every day. i know it wasn’t mutual. but it was beautiful to me. i hope there’s more of you in my future. you’re stupid.

whenever i got a notification from you i got butterflies in my stomach, why couldn't you get them too

i hope you like your new girl. you were the only boy i thought i could marry and now i swear i’ll never get married.

please try to understand how i’m feeling, it doesn’t have to be all the time. just when you think i need some help

it's ironic how i'm keeping track of how often i think of you but i think about you a lot still and wish i could know how you're doing