Unsent messages to NATE

hey.. u might not see this, and i don’t want u to bc that would be too embarrassing. but, let’s get to the point. my feelings for u r kinda awk- sometimes, i think i don’t like u and others i think i do... it’s so weird- idk if i like u or, i like the idea of u liking me.. awk right? when u send me pics of ur hair just to make me feel better, u don’t know how i can’t stop smiling. i don’t want u to like me some reason, bc if u did, ppl would be like “oh date!!” and i don’t like that, at all... but, if u do like me too, don’t tell ANYONE, nor me.. i don’t wanna write n e more. i’m smiling too much.

i hate myself everyday for not realizing. im so in love with you, you hurt me so many times but i can’t stop wanting you.

no matter how much i want to hate you for what you did, i know in my heart that i will never stop loving you

I don't feel sad anymore when I think of you. Instead I feel proud I was able to put you in the past. I hope you two are happy together :)

I hate you, but nearly 3 years go by and I still can’t help thinking of you. Maybe I don’t hate you so much after all.

I still think of you sometimes. Maybe it was right person wrong time, or maybe you weren't meant to stay in my life but that day I spent with you was one of the happiest ones of my life

i never sent the post cards because they're always imperfect. I had them on my wall instead next to a dalí piece. best to you always

originally i wanted to punch you out of angst. now i want to punch you because you make my life complicated in a good way. nonetheless, fuck you.

sincerely,
a

I had a dream about you after your last text. It's been two years. Please let me move on... I sometimes look up my name on here and imagine that you're finally being honest.

no matter how bad you treated me i’ll always welcome you with open arms. i wish i could fix us but it will never go back to how it was, i hope you’re happier now more than anything.

i feel like you’re gonna leave me again. i’m sorry for being so over emotional around you, it’s just the only way i feel you’ll care about me.

i hate how u say u like me and want to be with me but then see u talking the same way to other people. Even if it’s a joke, you don’t know how much u can hurt someone w that.

That night you were on my left, constantly. I even mentioned it to you. Now, whenever I look to the left I expect you to be there smiling at me. I can't even describe the feeling I get when you're not there.

Halloween night 2020 was the best night of my life, not because of the party but because I met you and for that, I will never forget it.

I can't even comprehend my feelings for you, all I want is you, and I know you like me, so why don't you talk to me

When you said your favorite color was purple I couldn't help but smile, but when you put wonderful on your wall my heart melted, when you told me Goodnight Beautiful I knew

You made that night so special by just existing, I loved every part of you, the way you did the stupid smile, the way we practiced that handshake, the way you helped her stay safe, the way you squeezed my hand, the way you leaned against me, the way you hugged me as many times as possible before I left. I can't stop thinking about you.

The night we met you were constantly on my left, I even commented on it. Now I expect you whenever I turn to the left only to be disappointed when you aren't there

You're so fucking mean. Me and my friends tell you we forgive you but we don't. You outed me Nate. You were one of my bestfriends and you fucking outed me. I don't bring it up because everyone knows you're a homophobic piece of shit. I hope Serenity doesn't like you back. Good luck with life babe.

Love, the gay girl.

It was love at first sight with you. I don't know if it was mutual or not. I miss you even though we hate each other and will probably never be the same again.

Why is your name burned in my brain? I literally almost call my bf Nathan and we’ve been dating for 2 years

what you did to me was unforgivable, yet i'd let you back into my life in a heartbeat. i hate you for it.

I really hope she was worth it. I loved you with my whole heart and i know you knew i was doing as best i could for you. It just wasn't enough was it? I saw you every second day and it still wasn't enough for you. It's been 209 days and i still miss you. I hate myself for it. I hope you find happiness in something or someone. I still see our spot all the time. i hate that it's the only thing i have left of you. I still love you forever and always

I miss you everyday. You knew me better than anyone and now we are strangers. Thank you for the good parts. I will always miss the good parts of you.

fuck you. fuck you for making me fall in love at such a young age. fuck you for “loving” me. you really had to tell me i was special and i believed it. fuck you cause my dumbass really waited for you. i rejected everyone that came my way cause i promised you i would wait. i promised so many things and guess what? i kept them all, every. single. one. guess what i was still here when you came back. i promised you would always have a special place in my heart and i wasn’t lying. my heart aches thinking about you. i was so happy. but i was just another person you talked to cause you were bored. i got too attached. when you left, everything left with you. my self confidence, my self love. but i had to act like none of that shit hurt me. like i didn’t care. i’m not saying this to make you feel bad. not at all. just saying what i think. i’m never gonna send this to you, don’t want to ruin what we have now, if its even considered anything. i miss the old you so much.

we’re not dating and you said you don’t want to, but i just want you to care for me bc i’m in love with you

i dont know why i cant just get over you already.. its been months and we were never even a thing. you still constantly pass my mind, i cant even imagine liking another at this point its just pathetic of me. and even if you saw this youd give me so much shit lmao. goodluck with football though, i truely wish you the best buddy.. you little mammoth

i think this will be the most mature thing i've said about you. i'm finally at a better viewpoint: not in love with you, yet not bashing you to make myself feel better. for starters, i made the background white because i feel like i was pretty blinded when i liked you and i don't know what color would represent our friendship. anyways, its strange, you show up in my dreams often, but i don't think about you. i won't have thought about you for a week, 2, maybe more, but suddenly we're dating in my dream. i don't get it. i mean, i've liked people since you, i've moved on. why are you still there? i've started to consider our relationship (friendship), and why i was so in love with you. it was only a crush, yet it lasted years. sometimes i felt like you just understood me, you read me without me explaining myself. it was new and it made me feel loved. remember the staring contests? you had the prettiest eyes ever, i hope you know that. i remember facetiming a lot before we really stopped talking. i was so awkward and so scared but i loved being around you. you had the best humor, it was dirty but i thought it was hilarious. i miss that. i don't know if you remember, but you had a nickname for me. it was annoying when you'd call me it, but you know i secretly loved it. i guess a lot of the time you gave me a sense of worth. not a lot of guys took interest in me, but you seemed to. yet even with all of that, and so much more, you still made me lose my identity and my confidence. you, among other things, just brought me down. i can't entirely make it your fault, but i was fragile and the way you made me feel sometimes just broke my heart. i one day decided to stop talking to you, i don't know if you noticed. we used to snap a lot but i stopped because you said something on a yolo about me and it stung. i guess i realized i was better than that, so i decided to let you go. looking back on it, i'd never change what i did that day. i needed to love myself without the approval of others. losing you and a few other people let me do that. anyways, i'm not sure why i'm doing this, i just got on the website, got distracted, and you came to mind. i doubt you'll ever see this, or realize it was from me, but if you want to, give me a text. you're a good guy & i hope you're doing well.

Sad short life taken away too quickly they’d say too me though it would be like you had never existed. So stay dead.

you showed me what love was. even though things didn't end great, I'm grateful that I had you in my life.

I picked this color because you said this was your favorite color on me:) but I came to this website to make it seem like I could text you but it wouldn’t feel the same it wouldn’t have that spark of butterflies cause I know you won’t see it and reply but ever since middle school you gave me them and I never gave up on you, but you did.

Sometimes when I think I need you I wonder if you ever do the same. But then I remember I was never enough for you.

Since I know you, I can’t stop thinking about you, can’t stop move on and forget about you. You’re the only one in my heart and if not you, then who? It’s sad how it all changes, from cute messages to “i’m busy” thingy. I still love you, and i’ll always be here for you if you need me. I am just so in love with you even after almost 4 months of not talking. Your smile was making my day brighter, your laugh was making my day emotional, your stupid and cute hair that you didn’t like was so fucking cute. I believe in us even you don’t. We are young, why won’t we try to give us a chance?

I'm still not sure what I did to make you hate me, but I hope you're in a good and happy place right now.

You treated me so horribly, I wish I could tell you how mad I am at you. But if I did I would think you're in the right all over again

i fell in love with you before i even knew you. and it’s like i still don’t know you. i’d imagined so many scenarios with u, pictured all the cute things we could do together and imagined a life with u. and then you walked away. like we had never even met. and all i’m left with is my made up scenarios in my head.

i sit here and remember when u called me cute names and now it’s been hard bc u ask me for my body, idk how to love anymore

sometimes i go back and try to relive the moment i fell in love with the u i loved now i don’t even know who u are.

I dont know if you felt how I felt too even though I thought you did. but i truly think it was a right person wrong time thing.

In another world you and me would be together, but for now it's just you and me being best friends. And I can't wait till you're ready for our next chapter, I love you

your so sweet to everyone. I love u bc I love ur energy and being around u. U make me so happy and I haven’t lost feelings since I met u. My stomach hurts when I think of u

I really loved you and I know you never felt the same way. I wish I never would've fallen for you, that was my mistake

I miss you or maybe i just miss the way you made me feel. I hope she treats you better than i ever did

you threw away our bromance for a girl i totally understand but i thought our four years would be worth more that her 4 months. :(

I want to be with you. I truely do, I want to steal your hoodies and be yours. But that will never happe I mean look at me I'm ugly, I'm overweight who would love me not you I just wish... I thought we were soulmates but that changed when you dumpeb mm for the most basic one in school Fuck what was I thinking

I loved you for a long time. Including the time it took me to accept you didn’t feel the same way back. You made me chase you and when I finally caught up, I saw you at the finish line with somebody else. You made my heart flutter and believe in true love. You danced in the rain, you watched movies at sunset, you were the perfect romantic. I just wish I was the Juliet to the end of your movie.

Hi its your ex me from middle school im so sorry for ever letting you go. I never realized how great of a guy you were and that you actually cared about me i miss you but you maybe have moved on an im scared to text you.

You told me you wanted to love me but couldn't. You made me think I could try to love again. I wish you would've picked me.

I still remember everything about you. I don’t hate you I never did. If you ever stop hating me maybe we can talk.

I remember the first time in our relationship I realized I didn’t love you. It’s funny how a year went by after.