Unsent messages to NAOMI

i know you’re struggling right now. with everything that’s going on. it just all got to much for you and i know you more than you know your self. every time it gets too much for you, you start to shut down. it happened before and it’s happening again. that’s why you couldn’t eat today. i hope you’ve tried to eat again my love. i know you don’t like to talk about it but i can just tell when things are at it’s worst. naomi you were at your best not that long ago! so you’re not far from it again. just keep trying for me please.

i tried to ft you today and you never picked up. that’s when i knew that it’s really over between us. i know there is a chance that you never saw it but you only have football at night on thursdays. so you must of purposely ignored me, you’ve never done that before.

not being able to talk to you when i really need you hurts. you’re the only person that held me together and i never realised that until you left. i took you for granted and i made the mistake of not being with you. i really did picture a future with you and you know that because we talked about it that one night you stayed up really late for me like we used to. i still listen to our song and it makes me cry but when i sing it i can picture you singing it right back to me. i would always get butterflies when you would look at abs sing the lyrics. if you wanted to come back i’d take you back in a heartbeat and give you my all again. but i know that’s not what you want. i know you don’t want to forget me but you have to. to truly be happy you have to let me go. as much as i don’t want you to, you have to. do it for me please. promise me as soon as it’s the 1st of january i no longer exist to you. all i want is for my baby to be happy and that can’t be with me. we lost our chance at happiness because of me, it’s my fault. the day you told me that you can’t be happy unless i’m happy and you don’t want to be happy unless it’s with me. i think about that everyday, if you’re happy or if you really are sad without me. i wish i could just ask you. i speak to amy about you but i know yous aren’t friends. i question if i should ask maiya but i know she wouldn’t know how you really are doing. there’s night where i lie in bed and all i can think about is calling you even just to see you sleep for one last time. i know we’ve been through so much and it’s all because of me and i can’t forgive myself for it because i really lost the best person that’s ever been in my life. naomi you literally saved my life and made me happy. you done that for me. it was all you, no one else and in return all i gave you was pain and that’s truly heartbreaking.

I miss you
I'm sorry I ruined what we had
I'm so thankful for our frindship and maybe we'll be like that again

i know you see this, and well im glad we talked to today, i just don't want it to stop. don't stop. i miss you

idk why. but ever since you left this time. i’ve been non stop crying and this is the first time you really didn’t care if we talked or not. i have to force myself to forget you now and i’m afraid i can’t.

now that you’ve said a proper goodbye. it really effected me. i never realised how much i love you until the day you left. you saved my life and now you’re not in it anymore. i can never forgive myself for the pain i inflicted. it’s my fault you’re gone.

i know you rejected me because you like someone else but if it doesn’t work out with her i’m still here waiting for you. you were the girl to help me figure out my sexuality and i’ll never forget that. also i miss your pretty face :(

you mean so much to me. i cant really describe how much love I have for you. platonically or romantically???

i don't think you ever knew about how much i cared about you. i wish that i didn't leave that impression when we broke things off for good. the amount of good night messages left in my drafts, the times where i was afraid of opening up because love is so daunting, not wanting to hurt you through my process of dealing w/ my mom issues. i still think of you some days, i think of how i would take back everything if it just meant being able to be your friend, watch those eyes of you glimmer when you talk about your favourite songs. i miss being able to go on walks with you and laugh at the stupidest shit. or waterpark trips. i know i hurt you, and nothing i do will ever erase the hurt i inflicted on you because i was selfish and my issues were the only thing on my mind. i hope these days you're doing better, i hope i don't linger in your mind even if i wish i would, i hope that you find someone that would love you and bring you happiness. if you see this, idk text me or whatever. or not. idk i'd just like to know that this was seen. and i think you know who this is. i don't think I'll text you again simply because i don't think you'd like that. so i guess this is my last goodbye then.

im sorry i was to scared to ask you out but you don’t really seem like you want to anyway. i love you

I think about you almost every day songs you listened to clothes you wore things you said and liked....I can't get you out of my head please go away it hurts

You knew i wasn't doing okay. i hate you for what you did, and i am forgetting about you, but everytime i think about you it still hurts.
i hope you hurt as badly as me. i hope you'll regret it forever.

I'm tired. If you don't want anything to do with me just block me, unfollow me. remove me from your life. I know I hurt you but if you didn't want me to text you then you should've said so. Just let me know.

you were one of the first people who loved me for who i was, i wish i never took you for granted cause now you're gone for good

you know i still love you the same amount when i first met you. when i fell in love with you. i called you my soulmate to my friends, i thought about what our future was going to be like. you literally saved my life, you made me happy. i will never forgive myself for hurting you the way i have. i still think about you everyday and when i look at the clock i always think about how you’re 5 hours ahead. i miss you so much more each day. we’re strangers now and it shatters my heart knowing i don’t have you in my life anymore.

it’s okay to move on and it’s okay to let go, even if you don’t think you can. life doesn’t stop, so don’t stand still waiting for those that don’t deserve to be waited for.

i still think of you. it’s been so long and yet thoughts of you still linger in my brain, and i can’t breathe when i hear your name.

You are an increible person and you need someone as increible as you. I'm not that but I loved you so much.

I am so scared to lose you like I lost everybody else... But I think losing you would hurt so much more

this is the last message i'll send here. i wish we were still friends, something more than strangers. but i get it. i wish you all the best, love j.

God I was so in love with you even after we broke up you were my favorite person and i was nothing you threw me away and it hurt so bad but now im so happy and i hope you aren't fuck you give me back my ladybug clip

fuck u we could've had so much before i realized how shit of a person u are u blew everything out of proportion and ruined friendships single handedly for no reason at all

I love you baby so fucking much i cannot comprehend you will always be with me hard luck you are the prettiest little thing going my little goddess my princess.
I love you most than most hard luck xxxxx
bye bye cutie pie enjoy your shower princess

Hope you’re doing well and that you remember that everything is going to be ok and to take a break sometimes for your sake :)

you must know how much i wish i were you. you are everything i wish i could be. am i enamored? am i in far too deep?

don't think i have it in my heart to forgive u ever again.
wishing I was enough...that was just stupid.
my heart breaks for myself. what have u done to me?
i hope someone treats u exactly how u treated me.

I don't know what hurts more; the fact that I can never tell you how I really feel, or the thought that you may feel the same about me