why do you still live in my head after so many months? is it because im lonely or is it because i truly miss you?

hi. its me again (lauri).

i was listening to this one song and it reminded me of you. "careless whisper" by george michael. specifically this one part, where he sings: "tonight the music seems so loud / i wish that we could lose this crowd / baby, it's better this way / we'd hurt each other with the things we want to say / we could've been so good together / we could've lived this dance forever / but no one's gonna dance with me again, please stay"

not really us. but me. the days go by and i just delude myself into thinking it wasnt my fault. i feel like ive reached a new low. i hope i'll get better any time soon. we've been away longer than together.

i really wish i could forget about you already.

HEYYY IT'S LAURI AGAIN I UMMM YOU PROBABLY DONT CARE BUT I GOT BANNED FROM BSD AMINO!!!!!!!! I DID IT!!!!!!!

big props to u since i got restricted the first time bc of u tysm?? anyway byebye

you were truly the best thing to happen to me. yet i let u go so selfishly. i still love you, you know? and i don’t think i’ll ever stop. be happy, with or without me, i just hope you’re still smiling. i’ll always be waiting.

it's me again... i dont even think i need to mention my name. lauri.

YEAH uh so basically. a few days after we broke i did some digging in my soundcloud library and rediscovered this one song called 'patchwork staccato'.

the lyrics... if i ever needed to sing you what i feel. that would be it.

i miss you so much. i know it’s selfish. i just wish i didn’t fuck things up. i loved you then and love you still.

goodnight.
lauri

sometimes i think of you and go berserk. why do i still care? what is it about you that i can't forget? maybe i took that promise too seriously. maybe i'll never let you go. you already did, but that's okay. it's for the best.

there's nothing i can even say to take back my words because it's exactly how i felt, just with the wrong words. i keep contradicting myself but at the end i really didn't deserve you.

i can't even admit my feelings here without feeling manipulative for hoping you'd read those letters. its pathetic.

i wonder if by the end of the year, i'll be over you.

- lauri
(ps: i made a realization: you were born on the first day of spring. how lovely could you get?)

“hey you lil piss baby ! you think you’re so fucking cool? you think you’re so fucking tough ? you talk a lot of big shit for someone with anger issues

even though we don’t talk, i’ll always be here for you

just say the word