Unsent Messages

not being able to talk to you when i really need you hurts. you’re the only person that held me together and i never realised that until you left. i took you for granted and i made the mistake of not being with you. i really did picture a future with you and you know that because we talked about it that one night you stayed up really late for me like we used to. i still listen to our song and it makes me cry but when i sing it i can picture you singing it right back to me. i would always get butterflies when you would look at abs sing the lyrics. if you wanted to come back i’d take you back in a heartbeat and give you my all again. but i know that’s not what you want. i know you don’t want to forget me but you have to. to truly be happy you have to let me go. as much as i don’t want you to, you have to. do it for me please. promise me as soon as it’s the 1st of january i no longer exist to you. all i want is for my baby to be happy and that can’t be with me. we lost our chance at happiness because of me, it’s my fault. the day you told me that you can’t be happy unless i’m happy and you don’t want to be happy unless it’s with me. i think about that everyday, if you’re happy or if you really are sad without me. i wish i could just ask you. i speak to amy about you but i know yous aren’t friends. i question if i should ask maiya but i know she wouldn’t know how you really are doing. there’s night where i lie in bed and all i can think about is calling you even just to see you sleep for one last time. i know we’ve been through so much and it’s all because of me and i can’t forgive myself for it because i really lost the best person that’s ever been in my life. naomi you literally saved my life and made me happy. you done that for me. it was all you, no one else and in return all i gave you was pain and that’s truly heartbreaking.