Unsent messages to ME
From: ABC
To: me
Date: November 19, 2020, 11:38 pm UTC
why is it so easy to give up. I've lost everything about myself i don't know who i am anymore. everyday I'm so close to the thought of dying and it is so painful to even think about it.
From: ABC
To: me
Date: November 19, 2020, 7:03 pm UTC
why am i like this i want to go back to the old me the skinny me the happy me i am so done with life i want to live the future but how i can't do this anymore
From: ABC
To: me
Date: November 19, 2020, 11:43 am UTC
i’m sorry. you never deserved any of the torment that was dished out to you. you were always perfect. you went through so much to lose half of your body weight for me to continue hating you. you’ve been through so much and i still hate you. why can’t i forgive you? why can’t i appreciate you? why can’t you be my first love?
From: ABC
To: me
Date: November 19, 2020, 3:02 am UTC
you are so dumb like stop being a pussy and get your shit together please and thank you also make up your mind goddamn
From: ABC
To: me
Date: November 19, 2020, 2:43 am UTC
im bi and i told a few people but i dont wanna tell anymore people because im scared of what they will think
From: ABC
To: me
Date: November 18, 2020, 9:48 pm UTC
I want it to be silent. I don’t want to see anything, hear anything, or feel. I just want everything to stop.
From: ABC
To: me
Date: November 18, 2020, 7:34 pm UTC
You are going to get better its just for know, you are going to stop feeling like this. It is just for now.
From: ABC
To: me
Date: November 18, 2020, 6:07 pm UTC
Hey, old me I use to love you (my old self) now I realized that you are not worth shit, no one loves you, no one talks to you, all your friends are fake ass fuck, and no one listens to you. You see your all sad right know you feel like no one cares about you, but at some point someone will show you love and you will find a reason to stay on earth and not to leave. Life is difficult but keep on going you can't tell the future but something great will happen.
From: ABC
To: me
Date: November 18, 2020, 3:53 pm UTC
I know you are trying your best. I believe in you. I know it is hard right now but please keep going.
From: ABC
To: me
Date: November 18, 2020, 10:03 am UTC
why do you beat us up? why do we hate us? why cant we just accept us? your face shape is perfect, your nose is perfect, your back fat is perfect, your stomach is perfect, your feet are perfect, your fingers are perfect, your neck is perfect, you need to eat and love yourself because your the only you that you have, embrace it. love us. love you. love me.
From: ABC
To: me
Date: November 18, 2020, 8:04 am UTC
Red has always secretly been your favorite color so I guess this is for you. I miss the old you.......
From: ABC
To: me
Date: November 18, 2020, 5:58 am UTC
stop beating yourself up. you deserve better. please open your eyes. I'm so sorry for hurting the little happy angel you used to be.
From: ABC
To: me
Date: November 14, 2020, 1:17 am UTC
i am so sorry. I would love make you happy, me you feel again. I just... don´t think you can be save.
From: ABC
To: me
Date: November 12, 2020, 8:05 am UTC
a year ago you were just a person who hadn’t done much with there life had a few friends and was quiet to the world then when the world hurt you and life got to hard and you got sick and you almost lost your mum that person from last year died and it took months for you to except your new life and the disease you would have forever and why you thought everything was out to hurt you when god said it’s time to grow and your story began and it’s only just started don’t stop work hard follow your dreams of being a model or nurse prove the world wrong
From: ABC
To: me
Date: November 10, 2020, 4:23 pm UTC
Deja de pensar que eres menos que el, se nota que no te merece y cuando encuentre a alguien querra que sea como tu y nunca lo conseguira y ahi se dara cuenta que tu eras lo mejor en su vida
From: ABC
To: me
Date: November 10, 2020, 9:18 am UTC
i don’t know.
and with those 3 words i have said too much. just a hug maybe, a hug when i need it. i need one now. it’s just that i don’t know, well i do, but i’m scared. i am so scared. i don’t want that, but if it’s what i get then so be it. if it’s as close to it as i’ll ever get then i guess i’ll take it. i don’t want to just accept it but, oh but taylor, you know what you’re talking about and for that i am sorry. you cant pity yourself though, but you know that if someone you loved told you what you thought then you’d be sorry too. you’re simply trying to be nice to yourself but this way is wrong. don’t ever be sorry for yourself, only acknowledge what’s going on and then get over it. you have to get over it. when will you get over it? why cant you get over it? please. please try. i’m begging you. stop closing your eyes and seeing it. stop thinking about the words. stop. just stop. breathe. can you do that? can you breathe slowly? slowdown for me please.
From: ABC
To: me
Date: November 10, 2020, 3:35 am UTC
Why do u need to keep fucking up? I know u are pretending to be okay but you're not. Stop trying to fill a void that you won't be able to fill. You keep saying that you like your life but you just want to leave everything behind. You will never get what you give. I guess I just settle. idk everything seems dark at the moment. hopeless.
From: ABC
To: me
Date: November 8, 2020, 9:21 pm UTC
I know you lost your shine and nobody noticed, you cry every night wondering what you did wrong, you didn't do anything wrong, they just didn't appreciate you enough.
2020 has not been your best year, you have been locked up in your four walls surrounded by your demons that every day destroy you more.
don't do it, your family and friends don't deserve it and they wouldn't know how to face it
From: ABC
To: me
Date: November 8, 2020, 8:08 pm UTC
thank you for making me happy for 7 months we still do not run in the rain but this is over so I will try to forget that
From: ABC
To: me
Date: November 5, 2020, 5:39 am UTC
it’s like i’m slowly drowning and i can’t scream because the water will get in my mouth... and it’ll be over
From: ABC
To: me
Date: November 3, 2020, 9:46 am UTC
Despite knowing that every November I get flashbacks and I relive that cold night over & over all month long
From: ABC
To: me
Date: November 3, 2020, 9:43 am UTC
It’s not your fault you were only a child. There’s nothing you could’ve done to stop him from hurting mom.
From: ABC
To: me
Date: October 31, 2020, 1:56 am UTC
to myself. i love you no matter what. i wish u would stop hurting yourself. but you will be happy one day i promise.
From: ABC
To: me
Date: October 30, 2020, 11:10 pm UTC
who the fuck do you think you are for thinking you could compare
you’ll never be good enough
i hate you
From: ABC
To: me
Date: October 29, 2020, 2:30 am UTC
I tried falling in love with you I really did,but I couldn’t find anything I could ever fall in love with
From: ABC
To: me
Date: October 20, 2020, 3:42 pm UTC
I’m trying to fall in love with you with every little ugly thing, I’m trying to fall in love with all of it, but it’s hard when you don’t even know who you are
From: ABC
To: me
Date: October 20, 2020, 3:37 pm UTC
I never needed to love anyone or receive any love from someone, because the only love I needed was from myself but the seemed to be the hardest type of love to get
From: ABC
To: me
Date: October 18, 2020, 3:47 am UTC
I'm so sorry. you're falling apart so much. I don't know what to do anymore I feel like giving up but I know I can't for them. you're trying so hard and I hope someday they realize that
From: ABC
To: me
Date: October 16, 2020, 5:17 am UTC
You are much stronger than you think and I'm not sure why you doubt yourself when you are capable of so much.
From: ABC
To: me
Date: October 16, 2020, 2:39 am UTC
Its pretty bad when your 16 and single and your best friend looks you dead in the eyes and says please don't die alone
From: ABC
To: me
Date: October 16, 2020, 2:38 am UTC
Its pretty bad when your 16 and single and your best friend looks you dead in the eyes and says please don't die alone
From: ABC
To: me
Date: October 15, 2020, 10:40 am UTC
I notice I feel afraid for change, yet I also feel a fear for stagnation. I observe this feeling of being lost.
From: ABC
To: me
Date: October 14, 2020, 2:34 pm UTC
lets forget them all, you have youself, be the best for yourself. you got this and you can do it just by yourself
From: ABC
To: me
Date: October 13, 2020, 1:23 am UTC
i wish you could just love yourself and accept love from other people but i know you truly can't and i'm sorry
From: ABC
To: me
Date: October 11, 2020, 11:55 pm UTC
I am still thinking of you every damn night even we haven’t talked in a year. Songs I cried to that night are still breaking me in to pieces. Every day I am looking in crowds to find your smile, your eyes. But I can’t find them. It still hurts.
From: ABC
To: me
Date: October 8, 2020, 4:30 am UTC
you are beautiful the way u are, stop thinking about the past. You got this. You are strong. I love u
From: ABC
To: me
Date: October 8, 2020, 4:28 am UTC
you are beautiful the way u are, stop thinking about the past. You got this. You are strong. I love u
From: ABC
To: me
Date: October 2, 2020, 3:09 am UTC
You... beautiful, smart, strong and sensitive piece of shit. STOP waiting for salvation. You're enought.
Take care of yourself and do something about it.
F.
From: ABC
To: me
Date: September 27, 2020, 4:41 pm UTC
I hope you succeed one day. Don’t let those people down you. Fulfill all your dreams. I love you self❤
From: ABC
To: me
Date: September 23, 2020, 7:47 pm UTC
black. a prefect way to describe you. empty, void, emotionless, a shell of who you were. what happened? when did you break so much? were you ever really okay?
From: ABC
To: me
Date: September 22, 2020, 2:01 pm UTC
Why you have to do everything wrong? You deserve nothing, you are useless, I love you but I hate you so much
From: ABC
To: me
Date: September 21, 2020, 12:33 am UTC
As the image of myself becomes more precious, I feel less afraid that someone will erase me by deying me love
From: ABC
To: me
Date: September 14, 2020, 3:41 am UTC
stop depending on others to feel beautiful and confident. you’re your own person. you ARE beautiful, you deserve to be loved and you don’t need anyone else to tell you that to make it true. i love you.
From: ABC
To: me
Date: September 12, 2020, 8:35 pm UTC
give yourself some time, i know it's hard but you need to let go. they don't care about you and you know it. stop clinging on to 3 years ago, time means nothing when they don't give a single fuck about you.
From: ABC
To: me
Date: September 11, 2020, 8:34 pm UTC
I know you're trying, keep going. Keep complimenting people, and being kind even if they aren't kind to you. It will be worth it in the end x
From: ABC
To: me
Date: September 11, 2020, 12:10 am UTC
I’m sorry I treated you so badly. You are strong and beautiful and I’ve never loved you more than I do right now.
From: ABC
To: me
Date: September 10, 2020, 7:02 pm UTC
not all of us get a happy ending and you never had the strength to deal with it. that's what made you impossible.
From: ABC
To: me
Date: September 10, 2020, 1:07 am UTC
Stay alive for her, for the girl you will be, for the beauty she brings.You will be the change my darling.
From: ABC
To: me
Date: September 8, 2020, 12:12 am UTC
you weren't my first, but you're my last, and only. You're beautiful, kind, compassionate, and smart. You're worth and happiness can't be found in her, or him. Love yourself, for me.
