Unsent messages to KYLE

I never meant to hurt you. You truly are my soulmate. I am going to get better for you and we will find our way back.

I just want to be making Mac and cheese for us at 4 in the morning as you’re playing apex. I miss what we had. I hope we get it back.

fuck you. I wish for once you would think of others, not just yourself. I wish u just talked abt how u felt rather then let it explode and hurt everyone who actually cares abt you. I want to hate you. We all forgive you every time and you don't care. I wish I could hate you.

i still think youre the coolest person ive ever met and no one feels more like home than you. even if u dont want to be more than friends with me im happy i get to know you again,, i really missed you.

I had you. You were mine for a while. And that’s enough itll have to be. Because now youre gone and all i can do is miss u

sometimes i convince myself you actually see these and respond. i wish it didnt have to be so hard to talk about us

Hii Kyle it’s your bestie Ofc we have grown a bond over the last few months meeting on a fucking game ?and I hope it carries on even through the rough times like if we “talk”??love u so much and I was bored so here ya go

I just cant lose you again. I cant put myself through that. So ill never run back to you but always love you from here

I can’t ever text you, i cant ever come running back to you. No matter how hard shit gets. I know i cant

i used to hate the color yellow before you told me it reminded u of me and i found out it was your favorite. no one has compared to u. i miss loving u so much.

i really thought you were one of the good ones, but it turns out all guys are the same, some are just better at hiding it than others.

I’m sorry I explode on you sometimes. I haven’t been able to get you out of my head since the day we met. Do I live in your head too?

i want to convince myself everything will be okay but i still dont know how you feel. im trying to be patient but im starting to feel like you said that to avoid hurting me and being honest. i dont know anymore

when u texted "as long as youre home safe" after ur mom drove me home drunk, i was reminded that we will always have love for each other. but we grew apart and this is how its supposed to be. i dont regret anything and im glad we're friends

l will always feel bad for myself for falling for you. Not even close to the way I feel bad for you loosing me like that.

i thought you were going to be the one to give me a reason to believe that right person wrong time was a thing

you're the type of person i hope to marry one day. i know you like her though, so go for it. you two are the sweetest.

i fucking miss you dude. you've been ignoring me for a month and you won't tell me what's going on. i just wanna be friends again

i finally got what i wanted, i think you like me back. but it doesn't feel right, i still have her in my head like why would you pick me over her. what did she do to make you not want her, or did she just not want you, which once again makes me the second choice and i literally told you how much i hate that. plz just come back and then i can see if what i feel for you is real. i really hope it is because this has been going on since july and i don't know how much longer i can take of this before it breaks me. all my love, r xx

you helped me through so much and i feel like i ruined our friendship by catching feelings. you look like your having fun and happy now which im glad about.

I miss having fun with you. I miss your laughs. I miss sitting next to you. I miss making memories with you. I miss so much about you that it hurts not to be with you. I wish we were together right now. I wish that we both could have confessed our feelings. I wish I wasn’t sitting here 1 year later wondering where it all went wrong. Maybe one day I will finally be able to get over you, but for now I like having the false hope that you will come back to me. I thought maybe we would have the Jim and Pam type of love. I thought that we were prefect for each other. I’m sorry if I misinterpreted things. I’m sorry for being an idiot girl who fell love with a guy who probably had no idea at all.

Fuck you. I literally am in love with you and the fact you have to be the way you are makes me so upset. I hope you stay well.

Remember when we use to just be two people who thought of nothing, but interesting things about each other? Until I met you, you were so different from what I had imagined. If I could just go back in time it would be to fix up everything and not be so sensitive.

even if i knew this was my last life on this planet, i would still want to spend it loving u. ive figured out that i may be a whole person, but you make me feel so alive. i just want to grow with you.

you have hurt me so much but i still chose to stay with you because i love you. im scared you'll repeat your mistakes again because i dont know if i can go through it again. i really do love you but i know the type of person you are, youll never stay loyal to me even if it kills you.

i wish he never introduced us. you made me lose all the progress i had on loving myself when you left me alone. then again, i miss you. i miss us falling asleep on facetime and calling each other dumb nicknames. i miss everything. but you also hurt me so bad and i hate you for it. it’s killing me to not speak to you in months. but i hope you’re doing good in life xx

Thank you for saving me. Thank you for loving me when I thought I couldn't be loved. I love you so much. You're my person.

Kyle, I've always loved you. Even when we fight and when we stop talking to each other. I've loved you since 6th grade. The moment you walked in that door at church I knew you were the one. Now that you have Molly, I don't stand a chance. I know you love her more than you've ever loved me. I understand why you love her. She's prettier, she's skinnier, she's smarter, she's better than me. I understand why you rejected me when I asked you out in 6th grade. It was because I wasn't Molly. Would you want me if I were more like her? I know you would pick her over me anyday.

Why? Why do you keep coming in and out of life. why can’t you make up your mind, do you want me or are you just playing with my feelings like you always do?

It really hurts to know you aren’t back for good... again. I know you’re just using me. I miss the old you.

I love you, and sometimes I hate you. I feel like we’re tied together by fate, I can’t imagine myself with other people.

I don't even know why i like you in the first place, you were a glitch in the system. But lucky you someone as great as me liked you. I still do a bit

FUCK YOU AND YOUR BITCH ASS

MOTHERFUCKER YOU FUCKING ATE MY GODFUCKING DAMMIT BREAD YOU BITCH ASS PUSSY

I like you a lot. Everytime I stared at you sitting in front of me I would always imagine a relationship that I knew would never happen.

i wish you would take all my jokes about my bad mental health seroius, ive been through thick and thin with u i wish you would do the same, but im just a joke right?

you should’ve went for it and kissed me. i wonder what we’d be like rn if i would’ve made the first move and went for it.

when times get rough, i just imagine you and i holding and touching each other. it calms me down and makes me feel safe, like i have never before. i like to call home, because whenever i am with you, i feel safe.

I know it was never your plan to leave us on this earth. but it hurts so badly to wake up everyday without hearing from you. and i know mom is strong but sometimes i think she’s dying on the inside and i don’t know what to do. i love you see you again one day

I still can’t believe you did that to me. I knew monsters like you existed but I never thought I would be in that position. I wish you actually felt bad for messing me up this much, it’s just really unfair. You made me lose all hope in ever trusting a person ever again and I miss the old me. Fuck you.

i hope this all isnt for nothing. i believe ur my soulmate more and more everyday regardless of the distance between us, physical or emotional. im not trying rushing you at all but i would start over with you the first chance offered. please let me know how you feel ):

We met in 7th grade, Mr. Barbato science. I gained my feelings there not bc u were cute I did because you were funny. That's what caught my eye. 2 years later we finally hangout and I'm part of your group now. But now I like you, idk lol it's weird. Im probably doing it bc I'm desperate again but we will see. u sometimes give me butterflies but sometimes you just a plain asshole as you know. you'll never see this but its cool..

I love you bubs. I always will. Today would’ve been two years and 9 months :( I still have hope that you’ll be back tho. Hope that you’ll realize I’ve changed for the better, hope that you realize how much of a horrible person she is, and hope that you will give us a second chance. I’ve always believed in those... and I thought you did too. You stream on twitch and I watched once... but the two times after that I didn’t. I love you so much bubs... and if by chance you see this... I’m so sorry. For everything. One day soon I’ll be able to see your face and I’ll be able to hug you again. And I can’t wait

I know it was never your plan to leave us on this earth. but it hurts so badly to wake up everyday without hearing from you. and i know mom is strong but sometimes i think she's dying on the inside and i don't know what to do. i love you see you again one day

I’m sorry we never happened, idk if I ever even loved you but I hope you loved me, maybe it can happen again in the future

i wont continue chasing you anymore. im sorry it took me so long to take the hint im so blind when it comes to you. i projecting my unrequited feelings on you and wanted to believe you felt the same but i see now that you dont. i wish you just told me so i didnt look dumb giving so much of myself to someone who didnt want it in the first place

maybe one day, when youre ready to be loved again, u can choose to let me be the one to love you. i wish i could get a sign that you would even want that from me because im starting to feel insane at this point. please tell me

im learning to let go of things that were unfair and out of our control. im learning to let go of the why nots, the what ifs, and the what couldve beens. im learning to let go of the things i dont need to know and you shouldnt have to know the answer to. i remember a long time ago when you told me that we will use time apart to grow for eachother and ourselves to be the best versions of us we could be. regardless of what our love was, is, or could be, no one inspires me to grow like you do. id never be where i was if not for you and ill love you forever for that. i can tell you need space now and im going to back away. but thank you for showing me how to love myself kyle, and please dont forget to return that same love to yourself.

somehow I managed to get played, even though you were interested first. oddly enough im not even mad at you, bc honestly I dont think you know that anything is wrong. im more mad at myself, for convincing myself that something could happen. im mad for making myself look like a fool once again.

you mean so much to me, i love you more than anything in the entire world and i’d give anything for you to love me back.

your dick was tiny. and who tf jacks off with their dog on the bed. i hope u fuckin die u ugly bitch hahha