Unsent messages to JOE

I was going to make this the colour of your eyes but I’ve forgotten them. I can’t wait for you to fade more

If I don’t want you to be happy without me, does that mean I never really loved you? I honestly hope so.

I need space. If we keep going like this I will push you away. Obviously I don't want to but I'm not good enough for you.

i loved you,and i wish it hadn’t ended. i hate knowing what could have been. you were everything to me.

I thought u liked me but instead u used me for my body and made fun of my anorexia I hope one day u go thro wht I went and see the pain I went through

its been a while but i hope ur doing well. i wanna talk and restart everything but we dont always get what we want. i love u forever. live ur life to the fullest and be the happiest person u can be. bc u deserve nothing but the best

You broke me beyond repair. And so did i. But i will always love you. Take care of your family for me. I miss them.

you were my first love experience. but you changed and I really don't think I ever loved you. p.s you aren't a player

You took my control away from me that night and violated me, but I have reclaimed it and so have the others. You are beyond redemption and I hope you pay handsomely for your offences, whatever that may entail.

remember us "joking" about you coming over, us getting on the crafting table, turning the lights red, and doing experiments? do you still care?

Se que nos conocimos hace poco pero sentía que conocía alguien con qué podía hablar de lo que sea.Se que eres mayor que yo.Y qué tal vez no sentirás lo mismo que yo.Pero te dejaré de pensar y de sentir.

I feel better now. I've forgotten about you. I went half the day not thinking about you. I can genuinely say fuck you :)

Everyone says that I should be angry with you for what you did to me. I just can't bring myself to hate you. Maybe I shouldn't have stayed up late that one faithful night.

I still think about you a lot, but after 2 days i feel better that were not talking. I'll never watch a callmecarson video without thinking of you though. Do you remember the first day we met, you called me cute? I said "you're kinda cute too" and you complimented my good grammar. I'll never forget how we met, what i was wearing, and everything that happened after that. I remember why i didnt skip you on omegle. When i saw you i said "what game are you playing?" and you said you werent playing a game, so i laughed and asked why you had a headset on. Izzy was there just watching us flirt up until i got your snap. Ill never forget. It'll always haunt me.

i miss you and everything we had. nothing is the same without you i’ve finally moved on but i miss the way u made me feel

I can't picture your face unless I'm sleeping and have a nightmare...Then it's more vivid than the sunsets we used to watch together.

I wish you just held on, I wish you tried. You broke me and I can’t erase it from my mind. I want to move on but I’m still hanging on to something that doesn’t exist, I don’t even know what happens in your life anymore. It’s like we never even knew each other in the first place.

you left and you said you wouldn't. you said you were busy and a new girl was found. why would you? how could you? but im glad you left. you tought me more than anything ill ever learn in school.

i hope you're a little less lonely this year but when you're not sober it's hard to feel much of anything.
call me if you need anything

Joe, you were always coming back to me, only to leave for another girl who caught your eye. I don't regret the time we spent together, only that I wish I hadn't stayed your friend. Maybe then it wouldn't hurt so much to see you with her. How many more times will I let you back? How many more times will you tell me you love me?

i know we are only talking but you make me feel infinite and worth something,. i just wish i could see u

i hope your phone battery Aint still at 1%, cuz we all know your girl aint as dumb as you thought i was.

all i want to do is see if your alright but i know i am not the girl you want to be telling right now.

Do you just want me for my body? I really like you man. Please like me back. I need you so bad.
- "Miss Maam"

I'm so in love with you. I have never loved someone like I love you and I've never even dated you before. I need help. Please love me back. I can't stay obsessed with you like this man. I can't handle it. I love you.

you aren't my first love, I've never had one, but you could've been. what happened? what did I do to suddenly change your mind about me? I'm sorry, I really am. Was I not enough? Was I too much? I get attached so easily and I don't realize how weird I may come across as. Possibly you found someone prettier with a better personality, I hope you both will be happy together. You're cats were cute, every time I get a picture of your forehead I'm just reminded that I'm not good enough.

You used to be my first thought when I woke up and the last one when I went to bed, you are my yellow

we never actually dated, you were my first love though. we still talk but i just dont have the heart to tell you how i feel

I still think of you every day, even though I can now recognize that I was incredibly out of your league and you are a bad person.

joe i’m in love you with but i’m not at the same time. what do i do? we are so young and have such a long time to figure life out but i don’t wanna see you with anyone else. is love not what i think it is? am i just desperate? do you even care about me? i miss you but i don’t and it’s heartbreaking. please please show me what to do. i really care about you.

sometimes i sit back and think what the fuck did i do wrong, but then i realised it wasnt me who ruined it. it was u

Fuck you. I deserved closure. I deserved an explanation. And yet I got nothing. I didn’t deserve that. I hate you.

i have an awful feeling you’re starting to like her more than me. and that’s ok. you’re my best friend and that will never change, just tell me ok? it might hurt for a while but i love you as more than just a boyfriend. i hope you know that. but if you feel in any way you don’t want to be with me - tell me. please.

i’m afraid, my dear, i love you more than life itself. you make me feel so yellow, remember? i hope we’ll always be friends.

you’re so important to me but i know you’ll never see me that way and it kills me every time you talk about her

if i left letters in a bottle would you find them like you did the others? only strangers get to know my secrets

if i left letters in a bottle would you find them like you did the others? only strangers get to know my secrets

You texted me the other day. Im with someone now, but as soon as I saw it, all the feelings came back. I miss you.

It’s been 10 months and I still miss you as much as i did in January. I don’t want you back anymore, I just wish it ended differently. I know you were never going to be the one for me but I really wanted you to be. I hope you’re doing well. Don’t text me. I don’t want to hear from you again.

I know it’s a terrible thing to say, but this year I was meant to go back to where we met. Where I fell in love with you. The only good thing to come out of this pandemic, because i think being there alone would have broken me

I kicked you out of my life because deep down a part of me is always going to be madly in love with you. I kicked you out of my life because I knew if one day you called and said you wanted me back.... I wouldn’t have the strength to say no. I’d be back at square one. I couldn’t let that happen again. I miss you- but I’m better off without you in my life.

To my first love aka my best friend you finally got a gf (Julia) I'm proud you have someone there. even if that ment I had to give up on my love for her and you but ofc you would never know this. I love you you guys are really good together maybe one day I'll have someone so I could feel what you're feeling. happiness maybe, I love you so much but your to far gone for me to tell you this are relationship is only platonic though.. that romantic feeling is way past but that doesn't mean I don't love you as my best friend, a human, a soulmate.. soulmates can be best friends? she's good for you I'm so proud of you like I can't even say how proud I am of you. I like the hugs we give each other because they make me feel like maybe everything is alright that maybe I don't need to die to be happy, but as long as your here I'm okay thank you Joe Joe for the most best friendship one could have
(◍•ᴗ•◍)✧*。

im sorry about everything I did. I never wanted to hurt you but now I'm the one that's hurting. I still love you and I always will. I miss you all the time and I wish I could go back and change what I did, I wish I gave you that second chance because I miss everything that we were together.

In another life we are married with 5 kids. In this life we are best friends scared of loving each other. I want a shark bite

I'm sorry. I acted like you were the one but I knew you weren't. You're an asshole and I never called you out. I never will either.

You're graduating in 2 days. I think this is going to hurt more than when we ended because i know that i'm probably never going to see you again

you taught me how to be ready to love myself because you broke me down to nothing. i have never been more thankful to someone who made me hate myself and the person i was becoming. im so glad for the times we had together. i loved you and i always will. i just wish you wouldve been ready to love me back the same. maybe one day when you grow up more and have some more life experiences it could work. for now i hope you find someone who loves you as much as i did because you deserve it. we had one hell of a love story didnt we.

I love you more than anything. I’d do anything just to be back in your arms. I always have and always will love you.

I always laughed about the way you pronounced my favorite color, but when I see it now, I can only think of you.

im sorry for everything. and im sorry for never telling you how much i loved you. i’m sorry and i miss you.