Unsent messages to EMMA

When we cuddle on the couch I wonder if you can feel how fast my heart beats or if you can sense my gay panic

I wish you knew what goes on in my head but I don't think I'll ever be able to put it into words. I hope you're okay and I hope we get past this. I love u

I’m sorry I loved you and never told you. And that you found out anyway. Because you know me, and you could tell. And I’m sorry you didn’t love me back, but that bit you couldn’t help. And, for all it’s worth, I truly hope he makes you happy.

I love you. And i dont know if you feel the same for me but i have a feeling inside of me telling me you do.

my beautiful patient girl I love you I love you I don’t think I comprehended what the word meant before you I’ve always loved you everything about u bbg

you know what lol? stop. UGH- YOU MAKE ME SO UPSET. what dont you get that shes mine?- uhh- you're in love with her. who wouldn't be? shes perfect. but shes not yours. at least i use the right yours. anyways you make me insecure bc that means i have competitionn! funsies. anyways hope you have a good life and i hope you realize what you're doing is not okay-. BUTT heres me being over protective and jealous

You never cared about me the way I cared about me and did everything you could to drag me down. Have fun with the alcoholism.

im tired of sensing im tired of tasting, and smelling, and seeing, and hearing, and feeling and it not being you.

i listened, i helped you as much as i could. after i got out of the hospital you weren't there and i needed you so much. i miss you. why did you replace me?

Had a dream about you today. Only thing I remember was that you were in it. I keep thinking about you and missing you. Any other girl I talk to doesn’t compare. You were my first love. I never got closure either :(

You say you want a guy who will take you on drives and sing to the radio with you while the sun is setting... I wanted to do that way before you mentioned it

why are you so oblivious to everything Emma? bro. you said to me multiple times you wouldn’t date her then not even idk 3 months later you two started dating?? I get it you “love” her. But I would never NEVER do that shit to you. Do you even understand that I knew you were gonna do this from the start. I was just hoping you would be a decent friend. When I first introduced you to her irl I saw the look on your face. I knew from that second that you would end up where you are now. not only do I not have my best friend I don’t have you. You both decided to do this shit and i will not give you another second chance, you’ve had plenty of chances. I have so much to say to you Emma. So many things you’ve done to hurt people and you don’t even realize it? I loved you dude I really did. The funny part is that you knew everything I thought about her. YOU knew I wasn’t over her back then and yet you still went for it. WOW.

Why are you doing this to me i cant be here i don't even know who i am anymore or what i want to do with you why cant we just go back to who we used to be

My best friend, things changed but you're still my best friend. Hope you're having fun with your new best friend. I'll always be here waiting.

i'm so sorry for everything that happened to us, i just want us to go back to how we used to be. i miss you and us so much u don't understand.

Hey Emma. I fell in love with you but as a friend. I love you so much you can't even understand. We're still bestfriend but I feel like we're starting to go in different ways, and it's totally fine. But I miss you so much. I miss the way we would do everything together, we would spend every day and every weekend together. Now we hangnout sometimes and all i want to do is have a sleepover and do sh*t like we used to do. You know, go back to the old days. I feel like I dont deserve to be friend with you. You helped me to go through depression and I feel like I've never got the chance to thank you for that. I want to thank you for staying by my side even if I didnt deserved it. I want to tell you in real how much I'm thankful but I dont want you to find me weird. I dont think you will, actually. I think you'll be happy to see that you helped me. See? You're too good for this world. You went through so much sh*t and I really tried to help you. But i cant help but feel like i could have done more.
I want you to know that I will always be by your side and you can always talk to me. This world dont deserve you and I want you to know that. I love you so much and thank you for being the only hope I had left.

My best friend, amazing on the inside and out. I wonder sometimes how you stay so positive after losing what you did. But you still seem to always be there for me when I need you, and I wish you knew I would always be here for you too.

Je bent zo veranderd na de quarantaine en ik mis de jou die ik toen kende en de jou die van me kon houden zoals je deed

It has always been and always will be you. You are the one I look for in a crowded room and you are the one I know I can look to when things get hard for me. You have stood by me through my toughest moments and I appreciate you so much for being in my life and you know I will always be there for you. If you call me in a few years time needing someone to talk to, I will be there, always. It seems that I can’t imagine a life where I don’t see or speak to you everyday though and that terrifies me. I will truly be lost without you. You are my best friend and soulmate all in one person. Whenever I tell you that I love you , I wholeheartedly mean it. Whenever I hug you, I’m hugging you with all of my heart. My hug is telling you things I can never say out loud. I can never tell you how I feel, I don’t want to complicate things but there is always some silly part of me that thinks you feel the same. I think I’m breaking my own heart by believing it. I hate that I have to love you so silently, it’s killing me. I hate that I feel so strongly about you that it brings me to tears and you may never know. All I want to do is show you and shower you in affection and love. You are the most amazing person in my life and I am still here right now because of you. You have the most beautiful soul and I have connected with you in a way that I never have with anyone before. I don’t think you know the extent of how much you mean to me. Whatever happens in the future, all I wish is for you to be happy. You are going to do amazing things in life. Whether I’m in your life or not by then, just know I will be cheering you on. I will always cheer you on. I will never forget you. You have impacted me so much. I will always search my surroundings in hopes that I’ll see you and your beautiful smile and hear your beautiful laugh. But for now, I’m going to appreciate every moment I spend with you as my friend before our lives begin because you are a great friend to me and I’m lucky enough to have you in my life as just that. I know you won’t see this and even if you do, you won’t know that I’m the one who’s written this but I truly mean it when I say that I’m completely and utterly in love with you and although it hurts, oh how it hurts, I never want to stop feeling this way, feeling this way for you gives me a reason to keep going, I want to make you proud. I hope I am :) I love you bub. I’ll see you soon

i know it probably won’t work between us but i would be down to give it a try if it means i could be close to you.

I am sorry and you know that i am. Our story wasn’t supposed to be like this. We were such great friends and we should have continued to grow up together. I miss you and I hope one day I can show you all the real letters I’ve written.

Me hubiese gustado que fueramos amigas. Pero me dolió mucho todo. A veces todavía te extraño y te guardo cariño aunque no me hayas querido como yo a vos, no de la misma forma.

Is your favorite color light red or dark red? i never asked, well there’s a lot of things i never asked i guess. you’re so special :) way more than you realize. you’ve saved lives, whether it was fate or chance. and, well i love you. i love you so much every time i look at you it’s like falling in love all over again. i adore you, emma. but that doesn’t feel like it’s enough. i wish i could tell you i love you in a way that satisfies me to the core of my heart, where my love for you lives. you are eternal darling, and forevermore beautiful, in all your enchanting ways.

Hi Emma. You are such a cool and kind person. I hope one day we can maybe hang out because I think you're amazing. I always loved it when you put our erasers next to each others in first grade.

we are so similar bestfran and ilysm ur so funny and I love ur clothes too but we both have anger issues sometimes

I'm sorry for acting like a fool around you all the times, I was in love with you. A 13 year old boy who didn't know how to control his feelings, I hope you understand that I never meant to be such a mess, you were the reason why I was happy. It hurts to know that you will never know how much I loved you, and how much I still do after all these years.

You suck. Why did u have to lead me on like that I thought u loved me you can’t play with someone like that

everywhere I go, I see bits and pieces of you, I see your name, I hear you in my music, every time I see the color yellow I can't help but think about your adorable face. I can't get over you..I miss you but I have to let go.

i hope we stay friends but idk if we will. we're drifting and i'm trying to fix it but what if it's not something meant to be fixed

I know we are young, people will always tell us that just because we aren't adults yet that we don't know what love is. Everyone feels love differently. But for me love is when I hear that your name and I get excited, or when you touches me and I feel loved. Love to me is when I can only imagine a future with you, when I mean "I love you", when I want to hold you in my arms. That is what love is to me. We are both girls so when people see us together they get weirded out, but that's okay with me, that's okay with me because its you that I'm with. You make me feel safe. You said you weren't ready to be in a relationship yet because you were still hurt from the last one, I understand. I understand you aren't ready yet, I really do. I just don't understand why you didn't tell me at first, then I wouldn't have gotten so hurt. You told me you would come back to me when you are ready, I don't care how long I have to wait. I'm going to wait for you because you are the only person I truly love. I love you, I hope you understand that I really do.

I don't think you ever loved me the way i loved you. Maybe at one point you did but them she came into your life and im nothing again. We dont even talk much. I feel like an attention seeker wanting attention from you constantly, but i never get any. Its always her. She gets ur attention when i should be the on getting it. I hate you spence.

I loved you more than anything on this world. was she just prettier, what was it. I could have changed to be like her.

Just wanted to say that I love your glasses. They really make your eyes pop. Also, you seem like such a kind person :)

i wasn’t mad at her, or you, but it hurt watching you fall for her while i was so hopelessly in love with you.

I’m sorry I made a trauma bond with you and put you in a toxic relationship, I still love you and every day I wish I could go back to that concert with you.

I don't think you understand the impact you've had on my life. I don't think I'd still be alive if it wasn't for you.

I feel like there is something you aren't telling me. I feel like you and Rianna are both hiding something but I don't know what. I feel like the third wheel.

i’m really hurting. idk what it is but i’m drowning , i can’t breath. everything angers me or upsets me for no reason. i don’t want to tell you because you go through so much shit yourself that i wouldn’t want to put my problems on you. but i don’t know anymore. i can’t stay like this. i’m breaking. i’m probably just over reacting anyway. people have bigger issues than mine anyway

you're the reason i like the night over day. if you're asleep then you can't hurt me... and yet i love you

it was a joke but i'm really catching feelings for you. i'm tempted to risk our friendship for even a chance.

you don’t know this, but you’re my first girl crush. you’ve shown me what real forgiveness and change is. thank you.

I know we haven't known each other for very long but god I'm grateful to have you. I just want to eat Skittles w you at 2 am and watch old movies and talk about life and shit. You're the best. I've been hurt a lot and I'm always so worried I'll scare you off but you're such an amazing and funny and creative person and I feel like you really get me. Love you. ⛄

i don’t think i’ll ever look at anyone else in the same way i’d look at you and be in awe of your beauty. falling for you was one of the best and worst things i did. oh

my precious baby. the future is ours and we're gonna make it beautiful. two days till i'm home forever

Aquel 9 de septiembre de 2019 me rompiste el corazón. Espero que a ti todavía te duela como me duele a mí al verte.

i still sometimes read your cute daydreams note.
i really want tiny versions of us. we’ll talk later, ok?
forever & always.

I’m staying up watching the election results all anxious as fuck and I kinda just want to call you but I can’t.

ill never forget the times you killed me in among us and lied to my face. youre basically dead to me now. i dont like u >:( im writing this bc im bored and i think that u blocked me on imessage bc my texts wont deliver but oh well but like u should answer immediately bc i sent u something weird. but ya love u even tho i bully you and even tho you obv dont love me back.

it’s been a fucking minute. can’t believe our names on a birthday cupcake in kindergarten would have lead to a friendship like we had. “friends” was an understatement. we were sisters. let’s reconnect soon? we do live pretty much right next to each other, after all.

Hi Emma, I'm her ex :) Treat her right or I will rip your spine out and beat you to death with it. She deserves the world and you better give it to her or try your hardest to.