Unsent messages to EMMA

i’m glad it wasn’t you in the end, you only hurt me

my soulmate; you saved me from my darkest place and who knew the random girl in all my classes would be my best friend

I really miss you. I wish we could redo it. I really felt chemistry with you and I want you back. You were so fun to be around and I just miss talking to you and being around you. I’d love to try it again. I’m hoping you give me a chance.

First few Facetime calls with you were perfect, after that you were someone else, your real self. I'm thankful though, thankful you revealed your true self to me. A bad girlfriend and a bad friend. Selfish and inconsiderate. I truly cared for you and wanted you for more than just your body but all you did was let me down. I know you're not a bad person, you just need to work on you. But that you must do on your own. Right person wrong time is what you called us. I think you were the right person at the right time, you taught me something at the perfect moment. You made me realize how I make others feel when I constantly only talk about myself. I hope one day you get yourself together. Maybe one day we'll meet again and things we'll have changed, but now I must actually say good bye and accept that I have to let you go for my own good.

Oh god, you don’t know how much I actually love and care about you. Trust me, you are the best person ever.

We were each other's first kisses, hiding in the closet with the door ajar. When you said you didn't remember it broke me in pieces, but you're still my best friend. I love you.

it's crazy, we're so different now. but i always think of you still. it's silly and dumb because we were kids and it's been so long and in all honesty, i should have been a better friend to u. i miss you and i hope you're doing well, genuinely. you were my first love, and i'm sorry i was so naive that i let what we had go. words can't express how much i still care about you, i try to check up on u once in a while to make sure everythings all good :( i genuinely hope you have the best life because you deserve it and you are a better person than you think you are. i love you, maybe i'll see you in the next life

it's crazy, we're so different now. but i always think of you still. it's silly and dumb because we were kids and it's been so long and in all honesty, i should have been a better friend to u. i miss you and i hope you're doing well, genuinely. you were my first love, and i'm sorry i was so naive that i let what we had go. words can't express how much i still care about you, i try to check up on u once in a while to make sure everythings all good :( i genuinely hope you have the best life because you deserve it and you are a better person than you think you are. i love you, maybe i'll see you in the next life

i love you in so any ways and i always will, i have no words to describe the way i do, but i believe in you and i cant wait to see you grow, youre strong and i believe in you always

fuck you and everything you ruined for me in the 2 years i knew you. i was happy. and you couldn’t deal with that. fuck you.

I just want you to know that I constantly think about you. You know sometimes I even dream that we talk again. It was so good having you as my friend I just wish I hadn’t been so stupid to let you go.

I don’t think you know how much you mean to me. As soon as I see your name on my screen I drop everything I’m doing just to hear your voice, even if it’s just for a second.

if i could take it back i would im so so sorry i know its been so long and i havent apologized yet but i feel like i have to forgive myself before i can forgive you in the end i fucked up and you did what you felt you had to. hope things are going well for u with him

i thought someday we’d get married and adopt a couple kids and paint the walls neon green. i guess not.

you broke my heart. i want to be mad, but i know you didn’t mean to. it just really sucks when it doesn’t work out.

dear bestfriend, i miss you so much that it hurts... we dont talk like we used too... i cant lose the only person that helps me forget the pain i feel.

You were my crush when I was "straight". Can't imagine a day without you. Love you forever you funny funny girl.

dude, where do i even start. the first time i met you in 6th grade camp, i knew right away that i wanted to be your friend. you’ve always been so funny and sweet and charismatic, even if you didn’t or don’t notice, everyone around you admires that. you’ve honestly helped me through so much and i really do hope i can be more like you one day. you’re so easy going and i hope you find all of the happiness you deserve because life sucks, but i swear it’ll get better. i truly did mean it when i said i’m scared of ft anyone but you because with you it’s comfortable. so thank you for that :) i don’t know if you know this btw but you’re so pretty, if i were you i wouldn’t let anyone tell me i wasn’t the main character. LOVE YA

emma, i called you my best friend after stella. I had trauma and it felt like everyone i got close to would leave after her. But you stayed for me and i felt a bestfriend's love again. But of course, you are leaving now too. Please just explain it to me. Why are you lying and avoiding me? Why are you pretending like i dont exist? I called you my best friend.

I'm sorry I was a bitch when we were younger, I said things to you that you somehow managed to forgive. I will always be grateful that you found it in you to forgive me because you mean so much to me. I'm sorry for the pain you're going through now, I want to help you but I don't know how

Even though it was platonic you were the first one i loved, you were my best friend, i wonder when you decided it was enough

im sorry things ended the way they did. i was in a poor place and took it out on you. i hope you know that youre such an amazing person and you deserve the world.

i couldn't be friends with you anymore bc you were with him. i was so in love with you but i thought you could never love me back. it was easier to reject you as a friend than for you to reject me as a potential girlfriend. i'm sorry if that was confusing and for any pain it caused you. it was me and my insecurity and fears, not you. never you.

you left me when i needed you the most. it hurt me when i found out you cheated, but i still love you.

i miss you. i know its basic, but there isnt a day that goes by where i dont imagine myself with you again. i know youre going through a hard time, but i need to hear your voice. i just want you to be okay. please be okay.

I could fall in love with you, probably. You probably couldn't feel the same for me. I'm not stupid enough to say anything.

A part of me wants so badly to reach out to you but I know it would only bring more pain. I'm sorry, I don't ever want you to think that I hate you, but seeing you live your life without me hurts more than you can know, but I am also so happy for you that you're finally becoming who you wanna be. We had a ton of good times and I'll never forget them

I hope you’re okay. Honestly. I love you so much even though the stuff you did made me uncomfy. I’m sorry

i don’t want to be your friend, i hate everything about you but i can’t leave you or i’m worried what you will do without me..

You are one of the best parts of my life. And in dark days you are my light. We are perfect for each other.

i wanna be you, i look so terrible standing next you. you have always been better looking than me. but fuck you cause your a toxic bitch. i would give up everything to be like you. to feel loved. why cant i just be pretty like you. im so jealous of you that i fucking hate it so much. even my parents started to compare me to you cause they know your so much better than me, everyone knows. ever since we became friends i became the second choice. even you know im the second choice with you around. please just leave so i can feel good in my own skin again.

I’m sorry I couldn’t save you from what happened. I miss you very much you know that? I really miss you I wish you could be here to cheer me on when I compete in my meets. I love you. Please come back. I finally have a boyfriend like you told me to do before you left. He’s very special to me. Please come back. I’m so sorry.

i’m sorry for not showing my love for you. you’re my bestfriend, but i just always want more than friends.

emma, i have loved you ever since we were in the fourth grade. the way you laughed and smiled, your blue eyes and brown hair matched so well. The way that you would talk about your family such as your brother eddie. You loved your cat michael more than anything. though you wanted to end your life, i’m so happy your still here, you may not like me because of what i said to you. but just so you know emma james, i love you

i try to get over you but i can’t. it’s too hard. the worst part of all is we weren’t nothing. you barely know me.

i may have not been your destination but i know i was your journey; an adventure. i was not a place for rest but a place for exploration. i drove your senses mad with winding roads and exhilarating locations. i permeated your soul with pure wanderlust but you found your destination and it wasn't me. i wanted more. i wanted to fill your heart. but i know your heart skipped a beat for me. maybe it doesn't settle for me but to know i made you feel anything is enough.

I loved u more than you'll ever know. there will never be a day I won't want you. i'd give up everything for you too love me back.

ur straight so u won’t ever like me. and i don’t think i love you. but there’s something about the way you exist that’s so mesmerising.

stop being a fucking try hard your not funny ur not cool omfg i hate how perfect you try to act but sometimes i want to rip ur head off i’m not even kidding

I’m sorry i didn’t appreciate you when i should’ve. but you hurt me, and i know we don’t talk anymore but i really cared about you.

I always looked forward to our hugs in math. Thank you for being there. You may never feel the same, but just know I love you.

you saved my life multiple times without even knowing it, i really need you right now but can’t say anything.

I’m sorry I ignored and left you with all of my heart. I will always remember you. It was fun hanging out with you while I had the chance.

I love you and it sucks that you won’t ever feel the same way. I’m sorry I can’t handle being friends with you

you keep building me up just to tear me right back down and break me again and again. i dont know why i keep loving you.

Ur my bffl. Even tho i don't say it much ur an amazing person and ur tiddies r actually quite big. I don't think ur bff loves me tho :(. Am lucky to have a friend like u. love u baby boo

it’s exhausting being your friend most of the time but i make my self stay because i refuse to give up on things

HI BASTIE!! You are an amazing amazing best friend. I care about you a ton, im so glad I have you after the crap we went thru. I hope you're my friend til we're old and gray and causing trouble for our children. You a my person and I am yours. I love you my bastie and I aint going no where with out you

I rly hope you dont follow your plans. By your side i can be me & even in silence im Happy w/ u. ilsym

ever since you came into my life i always have something to look forward to... you. you have made my life amazing. i don’t know what i’d do without you. i love you...