Unsent messages to DAVID

fuck u. u ruined me. u made me a object and sexually assaulted me. what did I ever do to deserve something like this.

i dont know whats been going on lately, ik i said i was okay with being just friends but i miss you dearly and i want it to just be the two of us again. i miss us.

I've been in love with you for our whole lives, but i've been trying to pretend otherwise. Everytime I see your eyes, my heart melts all over again.

Fuiste la primera persona que me gustó, esa tarde te ví con mí amiga y ella te presentó a mí como su primo. Nos gustamos mutuamente, pero no pudo ser.

I still dream about you time and time again
well I've been sleeping in somebody else's bed, and as my body aged, the feeling never did

did every girl feel what I feel or was I special? I think I love(d) you? how do I know I love you when I can’t even remember our first time meeting. I feel so pathetic writing all these desperate sad messages. All i want to know is how you truly feel about me. I don’t care if you hate me, I just need to know. I at least deserve that. you’re creating a hurricane in my mind. I need peace.

all I want is just one last conversation with you. some sort of closure. I need to know if we are truly meant to be or if it was just puppy love. I’m probably the last person you want to speak to, but I need this. I want to see who you’re growing up to be -without me in your life. I want to know what makes you tick, what makes you laugh, what brings you joy, what causes you pain. I’m okay not being in your journey in finding yourself -all I’m asking for is a ticket to watch from the sidelines.

thank you for teaching me not to get attached too early. i’m sorry i wasn’t there for you. i may have just been a small part of your life but you meant a lot in mine, i still look at our messages and send a couple paragraphs now and then, maybe hoping you’d text back one day. i hope you’re doing ok, my long lost love. all i really wanted in the end was to tell you i really did love you.

I'm sorry for putting you through everything. I should've taken therapy seriously and helped myself before messing with you. As much as you were using me, I shouldn't have forced you into that. I cant be mad for something I did anymore. Sorry

Thank you, for all the times you have made me feel like i’m loved. I still miss you, even when I know I shouldn’t, by now.

you deserve the world, and i dont know if Im able to give that to you but im still heasitant to let go

i like u so much. every time i see u i completely shut down. i get butterflies in my stomach just thinking about u. ur like the sun that lets u know it’s gonna be a good day.

“i’m here for you”.
a lie.
the time i spent
wondering if you were okay,
wondering if you slept well or not,
wondering if there was any chance that you would perhaps like me back;
was all a waste of time that i can never get back.
i was never appreciated, and you were always distant, only turning to me when you had no one else. your last choice.
but it’s fine. everyone leaves anyways and there’s no stopping it. i’ve been training myself to get used to being left alone, a feeling i know all too well. however i seemingly cant do that with you.

Find a girl who loves you and cares for you like me and use what happened between us as a lesson to never let her go. I’ll miss you and still love you even though you hurt me a lot. I’ll never stop loving you I’ll pray for you. You told me that I deserve better and I know but I want you.

You call me your bestfriend and i like you a lot but you dont see me that way and you like one of my closest friends just like every other guy but you’ve stopped talking to me lately for her and i miss you and lost feelings because of the things i found out you said but i still miss you

I thought you were just a crush, now every guy I meet I can't help compare to you. It's been 4 years.

I wish i couldve got some closure:/ i had to find out from HER and see the screenshots of what you told HER. you didnt even text me and its crazy how we both just knew it was over. i just dont get how you couldnt realize how much you hurt me by doing that.

I still love you, and I have ruined all of my relationships. Please come back. I just wanna say goodbye. :(

see i really did love you. i still think about you. and the smallest things make me think about you, i j want you to know i really miss your sisters. but this is for you. i wish you didnt do half the shit you did while we were together. you lied about the most fucked up shit. and i had n o freedom what so ever the fact you let me belive everyword you said, wasa the most fucked up you stupid ass cunt

hey..what happened between us? you've ignored my messages for over two months now... did i do something? i really miss you.

I never realized until recently how bad you manipulated, gaslit, and used me. And I don't think I'll ever be able to confront you about it without laughing at your smile, or your stupid music jokes, or when you mess up playing guitar. And I think the worst of it all is that if you asked me for anything, I would still give it to you. An you would take it leaving me with nothing, just as you did before.

only by a message you made me feel like anyone else, maybe i hadn't been that way things would be different...

i cant believe that we ended our story. i feel like im still waiting for the next chapter of us. i miss you

im so tall but u were taller than me. i liked looking up to talk to you and i liked how you smiled when you looked at me. im sorry you have such a shitty girlfriend now, i miss u

You will always be my soulmate and I will always love you.
But you're not with me anymore ... I love you.

You said, you were the problem. I never accepted that you actually were. I guess somehow you could listen my heart.

I'm moving on. I've accepted the bad things you did, and also mine. But even after all the things you did to me, i still would take you back.

i love you. i’ve never told you that. i don’t want to lose you, but nights like tonight make me nervous. i hope you’re having fun. don’t do anything i wouldn’t haha

We were absolute best friends and I understand you didn’t want to ruin that, do you ever wonder what would’ve happened if we made it?

Yo sé que sabes que los buenos recuerdos no se olvidan, buscando una como yo que nunca te diga no, vas a perder toda tu vida.

De las primera vez que te vi me gustaste, claramente no lo hice notar en todo el tiempo y te juro que no quería seguir sintiendo esto por ti pero ahora vuelve con más intencidad, te quiero y no sabes cuanto me gustaría decírtelo, lastimosamente solo me ves como amiga pero esta bien sabes porque así me permito conocerte como nadie más te ha conocido......
GDL,JL,MX.

He estado tanto tiempo enamorada de ti, fuiste mi primer amor pero supongo que tu nunca sentiste lo mismo ¿por qué te fijarías en mí? Dire por aquí lo que nunca me atreví a decirte: te amo

Even knowing the amount of bad things you did to me, I still love you and I don't know how to stop this feeling

it would've been fun if you had been the one. we were in our 20s tossing pennies in the pool and it would've been sweet if it could've been me.

Extraño cuando eras como mi mejor amigo, cuando te contaba todo de mi y tu me contabas de ti, cuando estabas para mi, me gustaría volver a ir por helado con vos e ir a caminar, te extraño a ti y tu compañía. Take care.

fuiste la primera persona de la cual me enamore en serio pero mas que eso fuiste mi mejor amigo así que imagina como me dolió que me dejaras de hablar sin razón

hey bub. i miss you more than anything. you were the best thing that ever happened to me. it's hard to keep giving myself hope, but i hope it ends the way i want it to. i love you more than anything. i hope to see you in italy again my love. i love you always and forever. TD

Trying to type this was the first time I realized I have nothing to say to you. You know what you lost.

Furthering my distance from you, realistically, I can't leave now, but I'm okay as long as you keep me from going crazy

I still think of you every time it rains. This was the color glowing on the walls when I almost said that I love you. I still do

I miss you every day all day, i think nobody can love me like you do, i try to found love in other persons but the didnt are U. Im so sorry for all i really miss u. This is your favorite colour

I select purple color because u tell me is the color represent imposible love, but in this moment I think why u tell me this when we started it ,if u knew this was impossible because u kept trying :(

You hurt me in ways I never knew I could hurt, you taught me what true love should never be like, you’ve caused me years of trauma and you don’t care. Fuck you

At night when I'm home alone I still sit on the couch watching the door waiting for you to come back... i miss you

Before I met you, I never knew what it was like to be able to look at someone and smile for no reason.

Are you still walking around like we weren't something at all? I was at my lowest years later and still thought of you.

The other day I finally realized that I don’t want a love like yours, I want something better, I deserve better.

I loved you so much that it hurt. I gave you 100% of myself and you made me give up our child..yet I still loved you and wanted to be with you

I hate the fact that i love you. I rly tried to get better for you. And i’m sorry that it wasn’t enough. I went through so much pain for you. And seeing the boy i love fall in love with my best friend? That hurted like a bitch. But thanks for being there for me. We’ll always be each others ‘kleine figgos’

I always thought love was red, or maybe a light shade of pink. But you made me feel all the colors of the rainbow.