Unsent messages to CHRISTIAN

You broke me in a thousand ways, but at the end of the day the way you hurt me was the only love you were willing to give.

AMM nose como decir esto pero creo que nuestra relacion nunca debio ser, al inicio todo fue hermoso pero luego, nos encargamos de lastimarnos el uno al otro, sin embargo no lo quisimos aceptar y lo llamamos "amor" a algo que no era, apesar de todo eso te doy las gracias por hacerme feliz aunq fuera solo por un momento.

i wish i could go back to the start of last year and change my stupid mistakes. i always wonder what could’ve been. i guess i’ll never know. i miss you.

You were the first that made me feel like in the middle of this dark world, I was gonna be okay. I’ll always thank you for that.

It seems like every move I make in a different direction always leads back to you. You are my one true love, my best friend, my fate. You left me again saying that I am like an obsession to you one second you love me the next you hate me. God I would take a million goodbyes from you if it meant that’d you’d still come back to me, if it meant you’d still be there for another hello.

you called me every name imaginable and said the worst things to me but i’m still with you and every time you tell me you love me all i hear is each name you’ve called me. it hurts. so bad. but you’re my only comfort.

I know we ended on good terms and you left for a reason but I want you to know that if we one day cross paths I’ll always look at you the same way I did when I loved you...

Every day i realize that we are both perfect and terrible for each other. Still wish you were mine though :/

I wish I didn’t love you so much, because you don’t deserve it. I hope we meet up later on in life, that hope is the only thing keeping me alive.

i’m still haunted. i wish i could understand what i did to make you treat me so coldly. you know, i thought becoming human made me care less, but it only was a facade. I labeled you an angel knowing full well you were far from it. you were dirty, broken and honestly scary. but so pure. you were so human yet so pure. i don’t pretend anymore. i hope you’re doing okay. i’m sorry i only text you when i’m maniac. but i think that’s the only time you found me interesting. i’m sorry for hurting you. i hope you found happiness. i hope someone is filling that gaping hole in your chest that you’ve been filling in with dirt. i hope you can forgive yourself. happy new year.

So idk if your even my first love but I’ve just always had a thing for you since elementary school and I rly do like you so yeah

I’m sorry I hurt you
I’m sorry your like the people in the comments under a sad song
I’m sorry I didn’t get what was happening in your head
I’m sorry that I’m so hard to love
I’m sorry we met at the wrong time
I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you when you wanted me too
I’m sorry I invalidated your feelings
I’m sorry your angry
....
I’m just so sorry.
I wish I could go back in time and if I could I would do it all a million times
I wish you could see how hard this is on my soul
And I don’t know why I can’t get over it after so long
You blocked me out of your life and I’m so happy for you because I just hurt people
But in every person I meet I look for you in them
And the you I have in my head doesn’t exist anymore
It’s gone
I’m slowly forgetting the sound of your voice
The way you look when you smile
The memory of you is faint
And sometimes I realize I’m hurting myself
I’m hurting myself.
And I think about it and I never really knew you did I?
I fell in love with the version I made in my head
And I’m so obsessed with the thought you chasing me
I’m so toxic.
I crave attention and the chase
You didn’t make me chase and I think that’s what pushed me back
You gave me everything I thought I needed
And I knew that I didn’t deserve that
Your soul was so pure but so damaged
The look in your eyes you could just see the pain
I didn’t understand you though
But now I realize that I was never what you needed
You hurt because of someone else and maybe I was the chase that you liked
The rebound
But what kills me most is how I moved on until you tried to come back
After you said you still had feelings I pushed you away and then regretted everything
I just hope one day you know I never meant to hurt you
I was just trying to love you.

i love you so much. i never feel like you think the same about me even though u act it when you’re around me you seem like you’re not bothered when you’re texting me. i could never leave you tho you’re the only thing that brings me happiness and my life would be so boring without you.i’m always here for you,whatever you need. you’re my favourite person..

I love you much. you have gotten me through so many days. I will love you forever and ever in my heart. It's just that, I wish you were real. I convince myself every night that you love me and i'm safe with you. But sometimes I just wished you were there physically. I wish you were actually present.

I finally let you go because I need to focus on myself. I still love you but it’s time for me to let you go. XOXO

i do think you’re a coward for not admitting how you truly felt. you didn’t have to lie to me and pretend to love me.

We really loved each other at the wrong time, didn’t we? Even though we’ve moved on from then,I’m glad to call you someone I loved

you ruined my life and my sense of self. i have no idea who i am because you ruined me. you beat it out of me.i hope you die.

i fell in love with everything about you, why don’t you just come back to the girl who will always love you?

i love you. so so much and it hurts to know you’ll never really care about me. you were my bestfriend since 6th grade and it hurts knowing i’ll never get to be with u romantically. u were my first everything.

i dont know why i still think about you because it has literally been years but i just wanted to say thank you

I really hope we get to meet again and finish all our plans together. I wouldn't forgive me having you and letting you go.

it hurts when i think about how i was just a second option to you. i wish i could go back and stop myself from falling for you.

Ummmm it's been me writing to you...idk if you miss me but let me know..imy...it's almost been a year..

i know you don’t think about me anymore. but sometimes i wish you still did. i wish i didn’t just become another one of your memories.

You were the one that I loved the most, the one that broke me the most, the one that made me fall out of love with everyone else, and the sad thing is even though you cheated, I don't know what hurt most, that you broke my trust in everything or that I actually thought you loved me.

you destroyed me over and over again, but i let you. wanna know why? i let you ruin me because i thought that is what it meant to be loved by you.

i’ll never understand how easy it was for you to move on. i always thought you loved me as much as i did you, but i guess i’ll never know. i wish you would just talk to me. by the way zoie seems like the kindest soul. i’m happy for you but it hurts to see.

I miss what we used to have. We'll never get it back. We've both changed. And I'm happy. I think of you often though.

I miss what we used to have. We'll never get it back. We've both changed. And I'm happy. I think of you often though.

it's a bit far fetched to say that i no longer love you. i think to stop loving you is to stop breathing.

I don’t think you ever loved me how I loved you. We were so young it seemed meaningless but it wasn’t to me. I thought u were the person that I was going to marry. How ignorant of me. You have changed so much you’re unrecognizable- I hope you’re happy with your new friends. You’re a complete piece of shit.

I love you but I don't know how to tell you, and I know you feel it too when we are together it feels different. I just wish we could be together.

do you ever think about what you did? i will never actually tell you this but it hurt me more than you'll ever know. i loved you so so much that i let you break me and stayed friends with you after just so i could keep you in my life. now i question if i meant as much to you as i thought. because i would have never ever even thought about putting you through what i had to go through. i still wish you the best though, and unfortunately still love you

it sometimes seems like i take you for granted but you mean everything to me. i don't show affection like I'm supposed to because I don't want to get hurt. i don't tell you how I'm feeling because I don't want you to worry. I'm hurting but I don't want you to be the one picking up after me. these are the strongest feelings I've ever had and they scare me. I'm scared to fall in love and get hurt again.

thanks for everything you did for me. Even though half the time you didn’t even know you where doing something. Thanks anyway dummy.

left me bc i wouldnt fuck u. little do you know, your the reason i think im not good enough to just date. thank you for making me miss so many oppertunities because you a dick christian. your. a. dick.

even though you pit me through so much and so much trauma i still wonder if you will ever come back so we can do it the right way.

Hey Christian, I miss you. I can never get that one stupid quote out of my head where you said you would let me draw on your arm if I ever got bored because you know how much I liked to doodle. I feel dumb now. Such a simple saying yet it's one of the reasons I fell in love with you. You noticed the little things and used them to put a smile on my face. I remember the first time I knew I loved you though, I remember the way I was laying down on the phone with you and I remember the conversation too. You were talking about how you used to chase this girl that you liked on the playground and I know it's such a dumb conversation but you had so much passion when you talked. Like nothing could get you because you were so here for the world. I interrupted you and I said I loved you, and you said it back with no hesitation. That's another thing I love about you, you made things so simple. I knew you loved me when you said it and I felt safe, safe in your arms, in your presence and when we had conversations for hours and hours at night it seemed to only be a couple minutes. I know that you're with her now and I hope you're happy because I know and I know you know that you love her more then you loved me. You found the one and I'm proud of you, I really am Christian. Goodbye my love, I love you more then anything, you are my everything.

i enjoyed the nine months we spent and i’m sorry we weren’t meant to be. all i want is for you to be happy. maybe in another life we could’ve worked but i’m glad i met you. it just sucks that we’ve gone back to being stranger but i’ll never forget you. i’ll always love you christian.

Ten people between us and you still came back to me and I was happy to have you back. That must have meant something. An entire year between us, now I know it did. I'm pretty sure I'm in love with you, no matter what happens I keep thinking back to you. But I can't tell you because I'm afraid you don't feel the same. I mean you did tell me I wasn't anything more than sex to you right? Guess it is a disaster.

It's been 3 months since the break up of our 2 year LDR and you've already moved on with a new girl, yet i haven't even put the spotify frame of us away. It's right next to my monitor. The one i'm currently using.

I feel like you hate me, but that might just be my negative thoughts...unless you really do hate how much I talk about nonsense.

i’m falling for you and i’m really scared. i know you don’t like me even tho you treat me as if we were something more. i’ll always be here for you. thanks for being such a good friend.

even though you played me, i still wish the best for u, n i still think u can change for the better and we can try again once ur mature enough and you realize how much i really cared ab u

hey, i know that your parents don’t like me and i hate it. you’re always gonna be the one that got away and i’m always gonna be in your corner. i love you and i’ll be yours till one of us dies?

hey, i know that your parents don’t like me and i hate it. you’re always gonna be the one that got away and i’m always gonna be in your corner. i love you and i’ll be yours till one of us dies?

I feel like we were both too prideful when we were together and I have too much pride to tell you I miss you and if we tried again I would be different I would be better but I know it won't happen because I have too much pride.

i wish you knew that each time i went back to you it hurt me on the inside and crushed the trust my parents and given to me. i loved you so much but I'm just not the one for you. you need someone who will actually be there for you and i don't want you to wait for me. i want you to be happy even if it isn't with me...

If we don't end up together in this life, I pray to God and the Universe that we are together in the next one.