Unsent messages to CHRISTIAN

i know things are tough but we'll laugh in 10 years about the stupid kids we are. please learn from your mistakes and i'll try to learn from mine.

I'm so deeply in love with you, it physically hurts. I think about you 24/7, because I miss you so much. I don't know if I believed in soulmates before I met you, but now I know we will be together one day. you light up every room and every person in it. You are funny, outgoing, and the most amazing boy I have ever known. I wish I could say this to you for real. I love you Christian.

I'm so deeply in love with you, it physically hurts. I think about you 24/7, because I miss you so much. I don't know if I believed in soulmates before I met you, but now I know we will be together one day. you light up every room and every person in it. You are funny, outgoing, and the most amazing boy I have ever known. I wish I could say this to you for real. I love you Christian.

i don't get it. i thought we had something, but I guess who didn't feel the same way. which is fine. although you didn't have to fuck me over and drag me through the mud. i would still take you back against my better judgement.

"im trying something with her right now" you said. i dont think her boyfriend was very happy about it.

You showed me you didn’t care when you said that I was only good enough for sex, not to date. You showed me you didn’t care when you told me all of the details about your sex life with some random bitch a WEEK after I told you my feelings for you. You showed me you didn’t care when you let your friends and brother be mean to me for no reason. You showed me you didn’t care when you left me on delivered for hours and days at a time just to respond with an “lol”. You showed me you didn’t care when you only texted me when you wanted something. You showed me you didn’t care when you purposely hurt me again and again and still expected me to stick around. You showed me you didn’t care when you disappeared out of the blue and didn’t text me for two months. It hurts me when you say that you couldn’t care less if I talked to you or not. It hurts me when you act like I’m worth nothing but then get angry if I move on. I work my ass off trying to continue with my life and leave you behind but you always come back and try to convince me that you’re different. A man who cares about me would never leave me feeling the way you did. I may be saying it for the thousandth time by now, but you’ve shown me you didn’t care one too many times.

I didn’t wanna have sex all the time but i knew that was the only way you’d stay. I love you. I always have. I miss you.

i can't begin to express how much i miss you and your awkward beautiful laugh. you’ll forever be my soulmate.

I think u called me 2 weeks ago. I'll see u again, even if it isn't in this lifetime. For my sake I hope it is. love u 4everrrrr

you’re a c*nt. thanks for all the nights i spent crying about you. i can’t even write anything sentimental because at this point i pity you.

You made me loose my self worth. I hated that I was not the race you desired. I hate that you told me my race wasn’t attractive

I was falling in love with you. Maybe it wasn’t long enough for you to feel the same way, but you made me believe it. Why wasn’t I enough? Was I ever going to be? Why didn’t you choose ME. Why didn’t you even say anything? I’m drowning too. I just cared too much to tell you. I was excited for the future you made up for us. I’m sad I have to keep searching when I thought you were it. ily

Idk why I loved you. Sometimes I wish I hated you like I did when I first met you. All you care about is if someone sends you pics

If you wrote to me in July, then I replied to that post, please reply in the comments if that is you. I'm leaving the city soon, and I want to get together before that.

Christian I know you never got the opportunity to know me but I payed attention to everything about you. I loved everything about you.

You left. You haven't spoken to me since spring. Yet I feel like you've written me things on here. Perhaps I'm being delusional but I feel like there is some special connection between us. I miss you. A lot. If you do still care, do want to reunite, put up a photo of Monet's Path in the Wheat Fields at Pourville.

Ur so wrong for me, but i find myself wanting u. i love u still but i’m scared to say it back because that makes it real

the lil Caribbean boy i fell for i love you with all my heart theres nothing i wouldn't do for you i hope she makes you happy just like how happy you made me i love you crocs

If our love was forever, why was I so easy to let go? So easy to forget, so easy to push away. Was it all a lie?

I let go of the hurt because I didn't deserve what you did. the way you are I just think maybe you're meant to be alone while you have hoes. you deserve true love I don't understand why you don't let yourself have that. I loved you so much and still do but I won't let it keep hurting me. you were my person maybe I'm not yours but I hope you figure yourself out my love.

I don't really know what to say other then I wish I could've met you. I hope you're doing good up in heaven. I excited for the day I will finally get to met you. Hope you're keeping out great-grandparents company up there. Just know I am always thinking of you. Love, ur little sister

Why did you give up on me so fast I was so in love with you and I still am if you asked me to marry you tomorrow would say yes

hey. i love you so much and i want what’s best for you. i’ll put my name so you don’t see it but just know you’re the most amazing boyfriend i ever will have. even tho sometimes i feel under appreciated you tend to make up for it. i love you more than youll ever know and ik you’ll love me more than you’ll ever show. it’s mekayla btw :) I picked orange bc they don’t have teal and ik it’s ur favorite color. please never forget no matter how angry i am with you, i’ll always love you no matter what

Its been a year since we met. I miss u dude I need you. I miss wearing your favorite purple shirt. I remember I would always say your house was my home. i miss being with you i need you. you promised so many things and yet broke all the promises was she worth it? how could you do that to me but yet somehow I forgive you. I hope you are okay I wish you the best love

I really hope she was worth it. After everything we talked about the promises you made how could you. Still somehow I miss you.

this was the color of the polo i bought for you in europe. i know you still wear it. but i guess it wasn’t good enough. you know you will always have a special place in my heart and i love you

I haven’t found the words to tell you how sorry I am, you know how stubborn I can be. I will regret it for the rest of my life. I love you always, all ways.

honestly we started talking awhile back but idk u made me feel pretty happy when i felt like shit for so long. thank you so much for that but after i started depending on you, you left. im used to it though so its okay. i get it

you hurt me. but somehow i’m still waiting for a text. we were toxic to say the least but somehow i still love you.

We should have just been friends. I don't know why, but I miss you. As if we're supposed to be one another's life.

I keep submitting these and I don’t know if it’s to clear my head or cause of the smallest chance they’ll find their way to you.

I don't know what I want more... to find myself in one of these from you, or you to find all the ones I've written to you.

I wish that you would talk to me one last time. I think about you every single day and I want my best friend back

i don’t think about you anymore but you still appear in my dreams. i don’t want to ever see you again.

Sometimes when I think of you I feel like i’m drowning and I can’t catch my breath. Sometimes I feel nothing at all.

2 years and 7 months gone just like that when you disappeared and ghosted me. But it's been two years already and it's still you. It's you every fucking day.

I hope you're happy with that girl I helped you fall in love with, because I was too scared to try and be the one.

even tho ur an asshole, my mind always goes back to u. y do I always miss the ppl who hurt me the most. come back plz. I miss us and our friendship.