Unsent messages to TYLER

God you have always been perfect to me. From when we were super close until now I have always loved everything about you. I miss dearly how things used to be with us , I will always look up to you and admire your aesthetic ?

i love you so fuckin much man
i would do anything to be with you
what am i still missing? what else do i have to do to be worth your time lol

High school came and for some reason I didn't say anything to you and I blame myself for drifting apart. In those four years, the only thing you said to me was sorry - you opened the door as I walked closely behind you, but you didn't notice me and the door slammed shut. You said sorry and that would be the last thing you’d say to me. I find myself being ok months at a time with different distractions each time. But I always come back to the thought of you and the friendship we had. And I wonder if you’ve ever thought of me at all since then. Now were not friends, nor are we enemies. At this point we’re just strangers with memories... if you even remember me and our history at all.

We sat beside each other on the bus briefly. Our friend at the time said you liked me but I denied it because I knew a lot of the other girls liked you (and I couldn’t believe it really, a part of me never will). We called each other best friends and you wrote it on my year book with that silly smile you write beside your name.

I still think about our grade 8 trip.
You were in line with me as we waited to call our parents before we slept the first night. You asked me for my room number and I wondered why. Turns out you asked to call mine. I answered the phone and didn't know what to say, all I can hear were the boys in the back, possibly teasing you. Maybe you had a crush on me. Maybe, just maybe, you liked me.

I still think about the school dance. You asked me to dance to this slow song. I didn't hear the song playing because I was so nervous, only focused on you. Your hands on my waist. Your blue eyes. Thats all I could think about. I thought the song ended so I left you. I went to find my friends but saw them still dancing with yours. Thats when I realized I left you hanging. I've regretted that moment for 8 years now.

i love you. every insult and joke is me trying to tell you that, i love you and i have since we were 12

Remember when we talked about how you’d kiss me because of our height difference, now your kissing her.

It's weird not facetiming you every night and knowing every detail of your day. It's weird not seeing you snuggle with your cat. Its weird not hearing you rant about our spanish teacher that i'll never understand why you hate so much. You are truly an exquisite person and you have taught me more than you know. I doubt you'll ever look at this because you think these kinds of things are cliche. But just know i'm always here for u. maybe we're meant for each other in another lifetime, but until then love u lots

i miss you lol. and it hurts knowing that you don’t care about me like i do you. but i miss you, please talk to me again.

i genuinely wish you happiness. i hoped it would end differently but now i realise it turned out for the best. we would never have worked.

i genuinely wish you happiness. i hoped it would end differently but now i realise it turned out for the best. we would never have worked.

Never not going to regret telling you I couldn’t stay friends. I couldn’t imagine myself not loving you. Not because didn’t want you.

Hey tyyy its lemon cardboard. I just wanted to let you know i love you and I appreciate everything you’ve done for me. We’ll be friends long enough I promise. You cant get rid of me. But seriously. Youve done a fuck ton for me and I appreciate it all the way. You are many more people are the reason im still here. So thank you from the bottom of my heart

no words can describe the sheer agony i was in those few weeks. but i was able to build myself back up, stronger than ever. realize my own faults. i hope you’re well. i’m sorry. please give your next one space when they ask for it.

I hate myself for not bringing myself to hate you. I don't have it in me to be so angry with someone.

if not in this lifetime, then another surely, or maybe a different universe, where its you and me and the stars

sometimes i'll come across something and get excited to send it to you and see your reaction, but then i remember you left

I'm glad you're gone. I hope you get upset when you think of me. I hope you discover confidence because you were lacking. I gave you a shot and you lost it. I could've helped you and been there for you but you were embarassed of me and for that I feel sorry for you. You were'nt just "a failed talking stage" you were the boy I liked for over a year. The happiest moment was finding out you felt the same way. The unhappiest was realizing you did'nt actually care. Thank you for helping me realize my worth. Thank you for liking me
It gave me some self confidence and now I dont need you anymore. I just wish I had been able to meet your family and go to your games. I will miss the ideas I made up in my head and your dope ass green car. It hurts

You broke me time and time again and i still loved you. I had to leave you in the past to be happy. I'm sorry love you always bubs

you keep showing me love. it’s hard to keep my heart from fluttering around you. i’m scared of hurting you, why don’t we take our time? we both need to heal. we could love each other so much

i KNEW you were looking for one thing and one thing only, but for some reason i still got attached? i think i have problems. i shouldn't of shown you anything... you're already going ghost :( it's been two weeks. did i come on too strong?

It was always “right person, wrong time” for us. But now you’re gone and we’ll never get our right time.

i love you so much even if you don't anymore, and i will always love you, you bring so much joy even after all we been through

I always smile when I see you. You no longer reply but if you ever had feelings for me, I hope they're still there. And that someday you tell me so.

I trusted u as i never did with anyone and i hate u bc u leave without even tell me why and i miss u every day. Every morning when I wake up i just look at my notifications waiting for a text from u saying something but i know u won't even try to text me. I know u are probably a lot happier without me, i know I'm not enough for u but please can u come back? I need u so much. I still looking at pictures of u and i wonder what did I do wrong and why did u leave but ig i'll never know lol

I wish I could turn back time to just see your smile again. I loved you so much, even if I broke it off. I wish I could reciprocate the same feelings back when we became friends again.

sometimes i think we could be really cool friends now and i wonder how you are. but also, fuck you for breaking me

sometimes i think we could be really cool friends now and i wonder how you are. but also, fuck you for breaking me

I miss you. I miss you so much, I’m sorry for being the worst I’m sorry for all the things I said I never meant it. If hating me was all it took to keep you here then so be it. I didn’t deserve your love I didn’t deserve any of it. I freaking miss you and it hurts. Isn’t that ironic? I’ve been wanting to separate for a while and now that we have, it hurts. I can’t forgive you for what you did to me before. But I miss you and even still love you but you’ll never hear that from me.

If you ever find this, this is what I want you to know. You behaved terribly. I know that you have said horrible things about me to strangers and friends. I wish I had handled things more maturely. I am glad the people I have around me love me for who I am. Who will never treat me the way you did. I learned from you that even when confrontation can be difficult, it is necessary. I don’t think we will ever be friends but if things were handled differently we could have been cordial. Maybe I am still hoping we could be. Despite all of your shortcomings and bad behavior, I can recognize that this is so painful because I think you needed to step away from me in order to grow. Because I recognize that who I was then desperately needed to grow too. I wish I had allowed myself that growth back when I knew you but, I was fucking drowning. I think this hurt me so badly because it revealed some things about myself that I didn’t like. That deserve criticism. I have done enormous work on myself. I hope you have too. I wish you all the best.

Sorry I couldn’t be all you ever wanted, hurts that you will always be enough for me but I will never be enough for you

I absolutely wish you never manipulated me into sex. You fucked up my life mentally. I get traumatized because of you.

you fucking broke me. everytime i see you it hurts and causes me to panic but i still wouldnt wish bad things on you.

this isn't the first message i'm putting up here but i dont think you'll see it anyway.
dude i like you a lot. i don't know how to tell you though. i feel like if i tell you and you reject me it's gonna be so awkward and i really don't want that to ruin our friendship. and tbh, i don't think or know if you feel the same way. but it's okay ig. i just want you to be happy, even if it sacrifices my own happiness. i just want you to know that i'm always here for you, and that if you say you're ugly one more time, i'm gonna scream at you because you're so freaking cute and could pull literally any girl. especially me? just letting you know haha
anyways, i hope you see this and know how important you are to me.
sincerely, the girl on your snap whose bitmoji can dance flawlessly?

i cant get you out of my head. and i feel this is the right person wrong time situation and it kills me

i’m sorry for how things ended. i’m sorry for how we never knew the right words to say. i wish that we were still friends, because though we may not be right together, i still enjoy your company.

i still think of you. despite it all, you are that one little thought stuck in the back of my mind. i wish you could say the same about me.

You know I should hate you for what you did to me but I could never I still love you and wish u and her the best even tho it hurts me a lot I miss u and us you and how u used to check up on me n how clumsy you were I hope she’ll make you the happiest

i cant sleep and all i can think about is us on new years eve laying on the couch together and i cant help but miss it and you and being in your arms and im hugging the bee matt gave me so tightly but god it is nothing compared to you i miss you so much ty

u hurt me so much after everything but im so happy u did im happy now but sometimes i wish i could just tell you how much i miss how we were. im sorry it didnt work out.

youre my soulmate. seriously. i know we joke about it but im serious. youre perfect. in every way possible. i just dont know if u feel the same.

I dont really know why I reached out for you. We don't know each other that well. I was drunk and somehow felt safer near you.

I am so sorry I left you like that but it was so fucking tiring. Every night I went to sleep crying that I'd done something to upset you. You know I'm not confrontational and I didn't want to upset you more by asking what I was doing wrong.
I am so sorry I left you like that but I was exhausted.

I love you. I’ve always wanted to tell you. I care so much about you. I’m so scared to tell you how I feel because I don’t know what I would do if you didn’t feel the same. So I love each day, slowly dying inside as I refrain myself from saying those three words to you.

you're my only reason to be alive and i literally cannot think about anything but you. wish you'd love me back lol

i don't understand how we still haven't ended up together. we're twin flames and you know it. you always come back

sometimes you text me and all my love comes back for you like it was the first ever time you said you loved me.

i have never loved anyone the way i did you. you were the first girl i ever fell in love with, and that love felt so natural. you are the only one i've ever been in love with and didn't feel bad about. thank you so much for helping me figure out that part of myself. i love and miss you.

you make me happier than anyone has, thankyou for healing me, if only we had more than one lifetime together.