Unsent messages to TANNER

i’m so happy you and i found eachother. you’re the light of my life.

I miss you so so much. Pls unblock me I want to talk

I don’t think you’re as bad as he says. I think you’re just a sad guy who really wants his dad back.

I said I'm done. I feel sick thinking that was the last time we'll ever speak again.

I hope you'll miss me and reach out

I feel emotionally connected to you. I wish I didn't.

i hope i found you in every lifetime.

I wish I didn't feel anything for you

I miss you so much I just wish you loved me :(

i wish this could work out

i really want to talk to you

I wish I begged you to stay I still miss you more than anything.

I want to see you again and I care about you so much

i like you so much that was the best date i’ve ever been on

I think I just lost you forever.

i’ll always love you, together or not

i miss you, i wish you would text me.

I miss you. Not just in a I miss that first love way, but in a piece of me is missing without you kinda way

You were my first love. The first guy I ever had a crush on. You broke me in ways you’ll never know. I wonder what you think of me, because you are my everything. I probably have never crossed your mind but you are on mine all the time. I love you from your voice to your cockiness when you are around your friends. I love you and you probably will never love me back and I am completely destroyed because of it.

god i miss you, please just come back i promise i changed i just need you i need us. it’s always been you and it’ll forever be you

you are my first love still yes I have other boyfriends but with you it’s just different. Everything about you is. And I know you aren’t the best kid and my mom doesn’t think your good for me nothing is going to change the face of how much I love and care for you. I see a future with you and I don’t think anything could change that. I love you so much it’s crazy I’m just afraid you’re going to get into your head about things. Please never leave me I don’t know how I would cope or if I could find someone to love again because I think you are the one for me. I love you tanner so much.

you probably have no idea how much I really love you. I don’t know how to say it, but I hope you know it’s a fucking lot. I hope I’ll be there when you find a new name, I hope you’ll want me. I hope we get our coming of age movie.

Thanks for being my best friend and penpal all those years. I'm happy we went our separate ways and I'm always cheering for you from afar.

You came into my life at the weirdest of times, and flipped it upside down. We had an instant connection in more ways than one. You left faster than I had the chance to tell you and now you are back again but leaving once more. Maybe this is all in my head, or maybe it's not. Either way, things are complicated. In another life maybe; another place, another time.

I wish I could make you understand how much you have changed me, made me a better person, even if you couldn't love me back.

I’m sorry that I couldn’t fulfill your wishes of staying with me forever, we wanted different things.

Dude I fucking love u but all u do is drink and smoke and I’m the only one putting effort in this relationship. Fuck u. I’m losing myself again. I fell for u and I shattered.
~ur unknown lover

you’ll be back. i didn’t deserve what you did to me. i hope you get whats coming and realize what you left behind.

We were to young to have talked about forever. I think deep down I knew we wouldn't last. You were to controlling and jealous, while I just wanted to be free and live in ways you never let me.

i just wanna explain why i always say sorry. i genuinely feel so annoying. i feel like i’ve never been enough for you. i don’t want you to settle for me. i don’t wanna push you away with my problems and i feel like my thoughts are too overbearing for you. i care abt you, that’s all.

you’re my safe place. i feel safe in your arms. staring in your eyes. holding your hands. being so distant from you is an overwhelming pain, i love you.

things are so hard rn. we’ve been through a lot... somehow we always get through it. tbh lately i’ve been confused with my feelings but when it comes down to it i know i want to get through everything with you.. forever :) love, ur cactus? lol i love you

I like you so much I’m not much different cuz a lot of girls like you but I just feel something different when I talk to you but you’ll never see that

I loved you so much because you were the first person to care. I find myself unable to get over you. Please come back...

I only fucked you bc you’re a ΛΧΑ. I never expected to have feelings and I never expect it to get this far.

i really cared about you. i still do. why did you have to hurt me, is she worth it? does she ask you how your day was or how you're really feeling? is she funnier or nicer or more caring than me? i dont know anymore. i miss talking to you

i loved you so so much. i thought you did too. you messed around with me because you knew i was wrapped around your finger. fuck you. you broke me. its been almost a year. you made me get an ed because all you did was body shame me. you cheated on me SIX times. you are so messed up. i hate you. so much. but i still miss you even though i shouldnt. and i still love you. i wish we could have worked. im waiting. im waiting for you to come back even though it will hurt me. but are you even gonna come back this time? its been almost two months since you left the last time. are we over? id rather have you come back and hurt me multiple more times than you never coming back. id do anything to be with you some more time. id do anything just to hear your voice. you really messed up. but im still forgiving you even though i shouldnt. maybe i should say goodbye and block you. idk if i could even force myself to do that. i love you and always will.

If you never really loved me, why did you act like you did? I gave you everything and you gave me false hope

I honestly don't know where to start, but first i gotta say i really miss your mum. I miss being so proud of you for everything you've done. I hate myself for not realizing i wasn't into you as a boyfriend, but i was into you more so as a friend. Being boyfriend and girlfriend was just easier for you to show affection i think and you are a very loving person. I miss the old tanner, the sweet one that gave me all his attention. Now all i hear about is the tanner that sleeps around and has every girl's nudes in his phone. I cant help but t blame myself for you changing. I hope the new girl brings you back down to earth. You have a pure soul i know you do deep down i just hope she brings it out in you. I love you and im sure she does too. i didnt cheat on you btw and i know deep down you believe me.

i’m happy you found love again. it’s something i’ll never be able to do. in my mind, ur still my person. even if we don’t talk.

you suck so bad and i want to say you look like a monkey and when you died your hair gray you look like my dead grandpa

You made me happy, your were my whole world, then my world turned upside down, you turned gray and slowly all the smiles turned to tears.

I miss the friendship we had. I'm sad I ruined it. There's a whole past we will never recover and a future that won't ever start.

not a day goes by where you dont cross my mind. i worry about you and wonder how you have been. but i need to move on for me. i always put you first and that was my mistake. i relied on to make me happy and when you did it was great. but we had more bad than good. ill love you forever and i hope we both grow into better people. maybe one day we will cross paths again and our story will be different. love u forever bub.

I love you, I want to spend the rest of my life with you but I'm scared you won't feel the same way later in life

I love you but I'm scared to tell you because I've never told anyone that. I picture being with you forever but I don't know how you feel because you never open up. You make me smile more than words can describe. You make me laugh even when I'm crying and I've never met anyone else to get me to do that. I'm scared that one day you're going to leave me to achieve your goals and I know that's a selfish to say but that's how much I care about you. I'm still shocked to this day that the guy I liked actually liked me back. I asked you out twice and both times you rejected me. But I don't care about that anymore because I have you. You're the first guy I actually introduced to my parents. I was so scared but my nerves just went away as soon as you walked in the door. You give me butterflies every time I'm with you and everyday is a new adventure. I love you and hope one day I'll be brave enough to send this to you.

Well I don’t know what to say but I liked you in kinder to 5th grade, then you spread a rumor that we dated like c’mon man then when people asked you denied it like bruh :,(

i miss you so bad. even though you hurt me i would do anything to get you to come back. you were and still are my first love. i dont know what i did wrong. why wasnt i enough for you? why did you not want me anymore? and if you dont want me why do you keep running back to me then cheat and leave me? i didnt do anything to deserve that. you just know you have me wrapped around your finger so everytime your bored you text me and make me fall in love again. then you just hurt me. at first you were such a loving boy and then i seen your true colors. you bodyshamed me and called me so many names. yet i forgave you and always will forgive you:/ i want my sweet and loving boy back again. i love you tanner and i dont think i will ever stop loving you.

i'm really sorry I feel like a shitty person for what I did to you. i want you to know I wish you the best and you deserve better.

i have no idea why i am so attached but i wish i would have said yes when you asked if i liked you, now i am sitting here months later still crying over you.