Unsent messages to TANNER

you keep leaving and coming back into my life and i always let you come back, no matter the countless times i tell myself i wont. i wonder if you or things in general would be different if it weren't for all that happened with the girl before. would you have been different? also why am i not enough for you? i try the best i can it just never seems to be enough. there is always someone better. and i shouldn't left you put me through that pain again and again. but what can i do. i wish i could get through to you. i know you're a good person i just wish i could make you realize how you constantly do not need someone by your side to feel better about yourself. i wish you would listen to me. this color reminds me of you. to me gray represents a sense of purity. but also loss of innocence, which,yes, are two contradicting statements but that's how i think of it. because i feel like your a pure soul who got messed up at a young age. a vulnerable age, a age where you only craved love and affection, but instead got manipulated. ugh im writing this and want to backspace and delete this whole thing bc i don't want a single person or myself to know i wrote this about you, cuz you don't deserve my time or energy. but i won't delete it. i wanna look back at this and realize how much i've grown. so see you next time ig. bye t.

You taught me what love doesn’t look like..you messed me up so bad it still hurts. I can’t stand you.

I know it's been three years but I still think about you all the time. I wish I would have told you I loved you.

I hate you.But I love you.We were in love.Fuck.I can’t function without you.Please come back what we had was made for movie screens.Please tanner.I need you.Your favorite color was orange..

We weren’t an extraordinary love story or anything and I doubt you think of me but I miss you sometimes.

would you let me talk to you if you knew I wanted to still be with you? would you want to be with me again?

I still check every black Ford Fusion license plate in our hometown to see if it’s you. I’m always hoping to run into you & talk

i don't know what it is about you, but it's you. You're too far away though and I don't think you feel the same, but it will be me and you.

I know youre dealing with things, but I'll be here for you. You've impacted my life more than you know and I honestly consider you one of my best friends. even if nothing ever happens between us, I'll be here to support you until you can be happy.