Unsent messages to STEPH

summer’s taught me I was lyin through my teeth. I’ll nvr not see you as an old lover n that’s okay:)

wish we could go out more and enjoy our last years of school

i loved you, i love you, i’ll always love you. i’m letting you go now. for me.

i’m falling for you hard and it scares me because i don’t ever feel enough for anyone, let alone you

We never dated, but I'm sorry I tried.
I never wanted the all-nighters to end.

You have never left my mind since we last spoke. I hope you are well and I think of you always…

I wonder if you see things that remind you of me too.

i wanted to heal you not hurt you more. i’m sorry for who i was. you were always amazing.

you’re still so cool and i want to be closer. i look up to you—sorry i ruined it by wanting more

wonder if you lurk on here, too. i think i look for you in everything. quite silly! leave me a sign?

No one will ever compare to you, Stephanie.

You will forever own my heart.I would have chosen you ,but he chose me first and now it’s too late.

you looked so pretty under all the strobing lights

i do hope you heal. as much as you hurt and given me trauma, i still wanted to end up with you.

Losing me was your own fault.

I still think about you daily. I hope you healed and have found happiness.

I’ll always be 5 minutes away. Please don’t be scared to reach out, I’ll always miss you hon

It will always be you.

I wish we could've tried.

I miss you and it’s all over the place. Why did you make me fall in love? I have nowhere to put it.

i love you so much, my baby!!

i know you love someone else but i’ll always love you

you were always right & im sorry we never made it out of our hometown in love.

It's been so very long, but I still love you and miss you.

I miss your hugs and hanging out w you take care:D

I really missed you im happy to talk again

I really like you. i hope you feel the same

I miss who we were

i never thought it would be possible.

but i fell out of our love

i wish yk how hurt i am not talking to u

youre my first real friend. i love you bro

One day you will realise what you had, but by then it will be too late.

I legit think abt u every. single. day. And I can only blame myself for making u go. I miss u sm

missing you a bit more today

I wish we never confessed and were still just friends…

Because even if i bury myself in the guilt of my mistakes, i can’t go back and change what happened. The best i can do is wait, so that’s what i’ll do. Hurry on home.

hey steph. i'm thankful for you. back in elementary school, you were my only friend. we would call every single day, and you would just be there for me. i was doing through a lot, honestly. i was depressed, i had no friends, and i really wasn't living my peak life. well, i loved you, obviously. in fact you were my first love. it hurt me a lot when we stopped talking, but that's life :') anyways, i'm so glad that you're happy and doing so amazing in life. keep doing what you're doing, i know you're up to big things :)

i miss you. I've given up trying to reach you. just know if you ever come back, I'm here. - your platonic wife

I really enjoyed our time together. You were the first to tell me "I love you" and for that thank you, I will love you forever.

algunas amistades vencen las adversidades y perduran con el tiempo. un mejor amigo siempre esta presente, en las buenas y en las malas aún cuando la distancia entre ambos sea enorme. quizá las personas entren y salgan de tu vida pero jamas espere perder a mi mejor amiga de pronto. me pregunto como estas por que me di cuenta de que no lo se, no hemos hablado y siendo honesta me lastimaste y no quiero llamarte o atender la lista de mensajes que enviaste. yo ya no podría responder las preguntas sobre ti y me pregunto ¿realmente te conocí? y me di cuenta que solo lo hice durante un tiempo. el cambio es solo una cosa curiosa, por que tu y yo solíamos hablar todos los días, solía pensar que sabia todo de ti, conocía todos tus caprichos y aventuras y carajo yo solía ser parte de ellos, pero ahora no lo soy y no quiero volver a serlo. te fuiste con demasiada gracia de mi vida: hiciste tu reverencia y saliste por la parte izquierda del escenario. yo estaba en una escena complicada de la obra llamada vida y finalmente el telón bajo delante de mi dejándome en obscuridad, dijiste que terminarías esa escena conmigo y no fue así; yo solía echarte de menos sabes?, tmb nuestras bromas, las conversaciones sin sentido, el recuerdo de lo que hacíamos juntas. ¡SOLÍA EXTRAÑAR TANTO NUESTRA AMISTAD! pero nunca sentí que tu me extrañaras o me echaras de menos, o que recordaras las cosas que hice por ti, digo si me valoraras no me hubieras hecho sentir como una mierda. así que con el tiempo dejé de extrañarte. también solía estar enojada. ¡estaba tan molesta por como me hacías sentir y que después de dejarme hecha pedazos simplemente te fueras! te dije que me habían mentido y que ya me habían traicionado antes, que la gente sentía miedo de mi y cuando me trataste diferente (al principio) di todo de mi por que pensé que valías la pena pensé que eras diferente pero resulto que solo fuiste una mas de las personas que me lastimo, me hiciste sentir muy triste ya que eras la única amiga que tenia en el mundo pero esa tristeza se convirtió en odio, te odie por que conocías mis inseguridades y las atacaste, diste en lo que termino de destruirme por completo. me tomó un tiempo pero llegue a la conclusión de que una amiga no es con quien te envías mensajes cuando quieres o necesitas algo , no es con quien vas a un café a platicar y solo finge interés. para mi te has convertido en alguien que conocí alguna vez, que fue mi hermana alguna vez, y encontré a alguien mejor que tu, el me ama y no te interesa y no leerás esto pero su nombre es Tim, llevo dos años con el y me ayuda a reconstruirme, me devolvió lo que me quitaste y lo amo, voy a casarme y será la ultima vez que sepas algo de mi y no estoy siendo dramática. y en caso de que te lo preguntes ahora, no estoy triste o furiosa y no te odio simplemente no me importas mas y escribir esto es mi manera de dejarte ir totalmente, quizá algún dia alguien te pregunte por mi, por como estoy. entonces te resultara obvio que no lo sabes. espero ese día me extrañes

you talk about yourself like you're this big person but you're not. it gets a bit repetitive but I hope I can help you strengthen up

It's been months since I last messaged you. Even more, since I last saw you. You most likely hate me. I ghosted you until our friendship faded with our memories. I hope you and your girlfriend are doing well. You deserve nothing but happiness. I love you.

you mean so fucking much to me i honestly cant explain it like we have something i don't feel with anyone else and I'm so so glad we met i love you more than you know

i messed up big time steph. it's been over a year already but i still feel the guilt, and im so sorry for my one stupid mistake. i wasn't used to having such a close friend, and i pushed you away and i regret it so much. i regret talking about the photo you posted and i regret everything. its painful for me everytime i look through my camera roll and see your face in group pictures or screenshots of photo replies we did, even seeing you around school makes me feel a pang of guilt. im sorry, i always will be, i messed up our friendship, you will forever remain one of my closest friends ever, and i feel like an idiot for messing up. it hurts to see you around with your new friends, but it's ok, i hope we re-concile, as even though we aren't hostile, we are awkward. i love you forever and always, im going to miss you my nap buddy.

You were my first best friend, I'm sorry I stuffed everything up with my insecurities, I will regret it forever.

I still think about you and what we could have been. I don’t want to think of you, but you’ve been a part of me so long, that i can’t help it.

u were my first true love n it’s been a year n i still can’t stop thinking abt u and how things could’ve been different. i think the reason i’m still stuck on you is because you helped me through so much of my mental issues in the little time we knew each other. i don’t think anyone else will make me feel the same as u did. i’m sorry for what i did, i wasn’t thinking and i was in such a bad place. i just want u to know that it was not your fault no matter what anyone else said those days. i wish u all the happiness in the world. te amaré toda mi vida y espero que estas bien stephanie? i still hate u tho damn this yellow is ugly

Despite the pain you’ve caused me, you’re also the best thing that has happened to me. I just want you back in my arms.

steph, idk how to feel since things didnt work out. i wish things went better. i am to the point where i honestly never met you. yeah we had the best times, but its not worth this heart ache anymore.

i know this is just meant for lovers but you’re so special to me, even just as a friend, and i really hope you know that. i love you.