Unsent messages to MUM
From: ABC
To: mum
Date: August 31, 2023, 4:13 pm UTC
Why do I still love you after all the hurtful things you did
From: ABC
To: mum
Date: August 17, 2023, 9:34 pm UTC
still waiting for you to be the mother your supposed to be
From: ABC
To: mum
Date: August 10, 2023, 9:16 am UTC
why is who i am not enough for you. why am i not enough for you
From: ABC
To: mum
Date: August 6, 2023, 9:00 am UTC
thanks u so much so much for being the best mum ever
From: ABC
To: mum
Date: January 19, 2021, 1:58 am UTC
i've been self harming since i was 11, i'm sorry that 7 years later i still haven't told you. i didn't want to make you sad, i love you. i'm 6 weeks clean today.
From: ABC
To: mum
Date: January 15, 2021, 11:48 pm UTC
Why wasn’t I good enough for you. You don’t speak to me anymore. You still try save yourself saying you love me. But I wish you loved me enough that you wanted to show that love to me and not yourself. Why weren’t we good enough for you mum? Why did you need a new family?
From: ABC
To: mum
Date: January 14, 2021, 5:30 pm UTC
I cant describe the a hatred i have towards you and it breaks me heart but you caused this yourself. ever since dad left i have been so unimportant to you. i was only 15 , you made me leave. how could you expect everything to go back to normal. i love you but you havent done enough to fix this. fuck you
From: ABC
To: mum
Date: January 14, 2021, 4:44 pm UTC
I wish it was easy to forgive you for what you’ve done. The woman who should’ve protected me the most put me in the most amount of danger. I’ll never forgive you for not being a mum when it mattered.
From: ABC
To: mum
Date: January 14, 2021, 4:41 pm UTC
you bitch, I can never forgive you, you made me live my whole childhood thinking what you were doing to me was normal, fuck you.
From: ABC
To: mum
Date: January 13, 2021, 11:44 pm UTC
im sorry. i hope one day things will be different. i'll never not love you even though its hard to show it.
From: ABC
To: mum
Date: January 12, 2021, 11:49 pm UTC
i wish i was the daughter you wanted. i try so hard but it's still never enough. your never satisfied.
you always have something to say, about some shit that i cant change. you drain me. you dont understand at all, and you wont even stop and think about all the pressure im under. you dont give a fuck about me.
From: ABC
To: mum
Date: January 12, 2021, 12:49 am UTC
how life would be brighter with you here. it should of been me, not you. I’ll forever be your baby girl.
From: ABC
To: mum
Date: January 11, 2021, 12:01 am UTC
You messed me up in many ways.
But I will never say I don’t love you, cause it wouldn’t be true.
You always say it’s my fault but I was just a kid.
Your words hurt me to this day.
Sorry I wasn’t the right child and sorry I never will be.
Believe me when I say I’ve tried, your standards are too high.
I love you but will never be the loved one, no matter how hard you try.
I’m trying everyday but I can’t say the words I wnat to you, I’m to scared.
From: ABC
To: mum
Date: January 10, 2021, 4:18 pm UTC
I wish i could tell you more, I wish that you could understand for example why Im always on my phone. I wish you should not be mad if you just knew why. I love you bytheway
From: ABC
To: mum
Date: January 9, 2021, 4:54 am UTC
I love you, I love you and i love you some more. I will never be half the woman you are, but i will always try. Thankyou for being so wonderful. i love you.
From: ABC
To: mum
Date: January 8, 2021, 10:21 pm UTC
its to late to try to make amends and be the person you should've been before. you weren't a bad mother, you didn't know what you were doing but I am allowed to be mad because if I wasn't the second child I could be so much happier.
From: ABC
To: mum
Date: January 7, 2021, 11:45 pm UTC
I’m sorry dad left, but I’m not to blame; it’s not my fault. I know you see him when you look at me and I’m sorry.
From: ABC
To: mum
Date: January 7, 2021, 8:16 pm UTC
i know you try your best, but i cant take the comments you make. you shower me in money and materialistic items but i need you to treat my emotions better, they are fragile. i only talk back at you bc you dont understand me which is crazy bc you are my mother, you call me immature and tell me i dont get it, i do. please learn me.
From: ABC
To: mum
Date: January 5, 2021, 7:15 pm UTC
Sometimes I hate you. I hate how you can’t take responsibility for what you done to me. But sometimes I love you because you’re my mum and we have no other family , you’re all I have
From: ABC
To: mum
Date: January 4, 2021, 12:15 pm UTC
I love you, have always taken care of me and done what any parent could I love you, sometimes it just get hard. Every time you judge my appearance it hurts it really does, I try to do everything and anything I can I am sorry I can’t never be enough.
From: ABC
To: mum
Date: January 3, 2021, 11:18 pm UTC
I will never be able to thank you enough for what you have done for me. I'm sorry I can't take away the pain.
From: ABC
To: mum
Date: January 3, 2021, 2:50 pm UTC
it’s been five years since what you did. i started feeling depressed and nothing’s changed and i can’t bring myself to leave you forever but i think it would be best. things aren’t even that bad anymore but i’m just sick of my body reacting to things like i’m in a life or death situation. everything’s apparently better and it’s been a few months since some scary stuff has happened but i don’t feel better. i keep reacting like it's the end of the world. I think I've seen you, that i used to consider my world, almost leave me so many times now that everything that goes wrong feels that extreme. I should be feeling so good these days, but i just feel stuck. How do I move on from all the stuff I've been through. How do I live life if it always feels like I'm about to die??? why can’t you just be my mum again. when i was little you said your favourite colour was pink
From: ABC
To: mum
Date: January 3, 2021, 8:22 am UTC
i feel like i disappoint you a lot. i know i'm the problem child and i'm so unmotivated all the time. i'm sorry for that. you always push the things that go wrong onto me and make it out to be my fault. i know you much rather have you friends children as your own. you couldn't even eat dinner with your own children tonight. sorry i upset you so much.
From: ABC
To: mum
Date: January 2, 2021, 10:41 pm UTC
i’m so sorry that i don’t spend enough time with you. i’m just tried. tried of life tried of school tried of everything. but i won’t tell you cause i know it would break your heart as you have given me everything i have ever wanted and for me to not want it anymore is selfish
From: ABC
To: mum
Date: January 2, 2021, 4:38 pm UTC
When i think about you i get upset and on others day i think about you and get filled with rage and sometimes happiness but today im upset.
From: ABC
To: mum
Date: January 2, 2021, 12:58 pm UTC
hi mum. i'm gay. im getting married in a month, i really wish you could come. please dont burn this one
From: ABC
To: mum
Date: December 31, 2020, 3:38 pm UTC
thank you for truly making me find my place in this world without you i would be completely and utterly lost
From: ABC
To: mum
Date: December 28, 2020, 11:27 pm UTC
we used to be so close but now i feel like i can't speak to you at all. i hope one day we're better because i do love you but you make it so hard.
From: ABC
To: mum
Date: December 28, 2020, 8:44 am UTC
i'm sorry. if you truly knew who i was you would probably be disappointed me. I could really use a hug right now.
From: ABC
To: mum
Date: December 28, 2020, 1:28 am UTC
we finally have a stable life and home but I can’t get rid of the scared feeling. what if it all goes away?
From: ABC
To: mum
Date: December 21, 2020, 2:17 am UTC
you scared me so much and in so many ways. i shouldn’t be scared of my own mum that’s wrong. you have hurt me in so many ways and don’t even realise i am so broken
From: ABC
To: mum
Date: December 19, 2020, 2:19 am UTC
Why was I never good enough for you? I miss you so much but you've treated me so horribly I feel wrong to miss you. I just wanted to be normal and have a dad who's alive and a mum who's present and loves me. I don't think thats too much to ask for. I just want you to love me.
From: ABC
To: mum
Date: December 15, 2020, 11:04 pm UTC
you blamed me for everything; your illness, your trauma. it hurt, you knew that, you just didn't care. I'm not 'lazy' btw
From: ABC
To: mum
Date: December 15, 2020, 9:54 pm UTC
I think we are growing apart and having more arguments now because you’re stressed but I also think it’s because I’m bisexual and I don’t know how to tell you.
From: ABC
To: mum
Date: December 15, 2020, 9:44 pm UTC
I know your stressed. But please don’t take it out on me please don’t try to make me feel any worse about myself. Please. I don’t want to end up hating you mum
From: ABC
To: mum
Date: December 14, 2020, 9:04 pm UTC
I wish you had of been around more, i feel like that part of childhood is a huge hole, like missing. Does that make sense? I wish i knew you better I still love you,
From: ABC
To: mum
Date: December 12, 2020, 11:06 pm UTC
i used to look up to you, i used to believe you could do no wrong. now i realise you're the reason i'll never truly trust anyone.
From: ABC
To: mum
Date: December 12, 2020, 9:40 pm UTC
I love you more than you can imagine, when dad was disappointed in me you weren’t you were there happy for me and proud of me. I was still sad about that I couldn’t please both of u guys but atleas
From: ABC
To: mum
Date: December 12, 2020, 9:07 pm UTC
nobody ever talks about your first heartbreak being your mum not being the kind person you shaped her to be in your mind
From: ABC
To: mum
Date: December 12, 2020, 7:41 pm UTC
You ruined my life in so many ways yet some how I could never live without you. I love you so much and I’m sorry for everything but yet you’ve said sorry but don’t show it. I just wish it could all go back to the way it used to be when I was little and you where innocent even though that’s when it all the bad started to happen
From: ABC
To: mum
Date: December 12, 2020, 6:35 pm UTC
i loved you and you manipulated everyone one around me for your own gain. i hope you’re my happy now i’m depressed
From: ABC
To: mum
Date: December 11, 2020, 10:00 am UTC
please stop manipulating me. it places a wall in between us that will be there forever unless things change
From: ABC
To: mum
Date: December 10, 2020, 4:52 pm UTC
I love you so much. I’m sorry I get angry or act ungrateful but I truly don’t mean it. You deserve the world and nothing less you’re such a perfect person
From: ABC
To: mum
Date: December 10, 2020, 6:18 am UTC
i hate u so much. sometimes i wish u were dead but then i remember id be nothing without u. U ruined me. U burnt me out
