Unsent messages to JOSE

You are such a good person who did such a horrible thing to me. You lead me on. Made me believe you actually liked me, only to choose someone else over me. It's cool, it has been over a year since it happened as I am typing it, but it still affects me to this day with new people. I already had self esteem issues and then for you to do that to me just amplified it. I can never believe that people genuinely like me anymore because of you. I hope you and your girlfriend are happy. I hate her, not for being with you but for knowing about me and not coming to be about it like a woman. i hate her for telling her friend who she knew was going to tell me instead of just coming to me but I guess if she makes you happy then so be it. I hope I never see or talk to you again. I just wish you knew that it still affects me. I want it to haunt you while you're still happy and I am stuck struggling.

I knew that you weren't looking for commitment, I just played along until I got tired of it. Good Luck

fuiste una mierda de persona, solo me usaste. hice lo posible para llamar tu atencion, me sientia tan estupida. hoy en dia al fin logre superarte:-)

.... Bueno iniciamos 2021 ✨ y aún sigo esperando un mensaje tuyo. No tengo el valor de decírtelo pero espero que algún día puedas leer esto , realmente si me gustabas , sentí química por primera vez no sé si tú lo habrás sentido y eso te hace el primero .... creo que te hace especial . Cuando fuimos juntos en el mismo taxi esa noche quise decírtelo e incluso cuando estaba ebria lo escribí y luego lo borre .... no quería arruinar nuestra amistad y ese algo que sentía . Es hora de dejar de esperar un mensaje tuyo y comenzar a quererme un poco más , tu ya eres feliz y me alegro por eso espero que si algún día lees esto solo me envíes un mensaje de lo que tú realmente sentías cuando reíamos juntos :,) bye

I loved our memories and our bond, you will always be in my heart no matter what. Thank you for being my first love.

I’m happy you finally got your life together, just wish you did that with me instead of her she got everything I asked you to do for me but she got it instead.

I hate that I still love you. I hate that you left me. I hate that you hurt me so much. I hate that you didnt accept me. I hate that your my father.

La primera vez que me senti bonita fue cuando me entere que yo te gustaba, lastimosamente aprendi a no confiar en mis amigas porque una de ellas me traiciono y tu te enamoraste de ella. Aprendi que si yo quiero a alguien debo e pelear por esa persona y desearia que tu hubieras sido mi primer beso.

Existen tantos con tu nombre, y caí por uno que hace 7 años me soltó pero yo lo sigo viendo en sueños. Lo siento

you gross me out. the thought of you touching me is repulsive. i cant believe i let you take advantage of me at such a young age.

Why did you have to take my virginity? You knew you had a girlfriend, yet you still did it. Fuck you.

I miss you so fucking much. Like every morning I wake up regretting rejecting you. You would have been my person, I know it. We would have been unstoppable. I was so stupid, and I can’t even handle myself anymore. I miss everything about you. I wish we were driving around those small country roads listening to your stupid pop playlists. I wish we were on my couch playing with Nova. God damn it I want to turn back time cause I’m miserable without you.

I just wanted to say you really have hurt me and have led me on for so long but you don’t understand how happy you make me! You literally are the love of my life like I just know! I know you don’t feel the same way cuz I see it in you! I’m over here being hurt and broken while you are living the life of your dream! Why did you leave? Why did you change? Why did this happen to me! I miss you and want you in my life again! I really don’t wanna lose you, it’s my fear!

the name's stupid i know, but i miss you. a lot. and I love you so much. take care of yourself for me okay :(

elegi el este color por que se que era tu favorito "azul metalico", al igual que amabas imagine dragons... wow esto fue hace mucho tiempo exactamente 5 años pero nunca se lo e contando a nadie, jose tu me gustaste fuiste la primera persona con la que senti atraccion y sentimientos, si, yo te gustaba y nunca supiste lo que yo sentia por ti me encantabas , eras una persona increible, despues te fuiste del colegio y supe de ti 1 vez y nose que sera de ti, te extraño fuiste un gran amigo, espero algun dia volver a reencontrarnos, siempre seras mi primer amor

you're still my favourite person even though I'm not yours and that's okay. as long as you're happy I'm happy

i really love u, and i think you like me... sooo please say it to me ! we only have one life,maybe we are death tomorrow, who knows, if you are reading this please tell me all your feelings abt me, i also think i like u :), u are my fav person ever...
with love ,p

No sabes lo mucho que te ame y te amo ,me di cuenta de eso cuando me fui te extrañe demasiado ya que fuiste mi primer amor y mi mejor amigo ,cuando te volví a ver después de dos años no sabia como acercarme a ti y por eso fue que perdí tu amistad y tu cariño cuando éramos niños.
Cuando pasaron 5 años de eso yo pensé que ya no sentía nada por ti pero luego nos volvimos a encontrar y me di cuenta que todavía sentía algo por ti aunque tu ya no me volteas a ver o me saludas....dime como te olvido, como puedo dejar de sentir esto por ti.

I didn’t even like you but tonight you told que me empezarás a ver como solo una amiga y no entiendo por qué lloré tanto

God, I love you, I love you, Much more than you can imagine, you've helped me every day not to kill me, Really, I want to thank you but I don't know how, and sometimes I even feel bad because I feel like I'm not enough for he, I choose yellow for this bc he is my yellow(Coldplay song)

You don’t get to come back whenever you want. I thought you were my soulmate. But you caused me way too much pain.

A día de hoy sigo dudando si mis revolucionarios sentimientos eran mutuos. Lo único que sé con claridad es que me hiciste la chica más feliz durante meses y eso nadie lo había podido lograr hasta que tú llegaste con tu colonia suave y tus sudaderas calentitas.

The sun hasn't shined the same since I left you. I wonder if it still does for you. love you forever.

Me gustaste de una manera que no podría no explicar, de una manera tan pura, linda, sincera, de verdad fuiste alguien muy importante para mi y lo sigues siendo aunque no hablemos, aunque cuando me hables te responda cortante o cosas así es que no sabia como sentirme, fuiste mi primer amor (por así decirlo).

It’s not that I didn’t like you, I just didn’t KNOW. I didn’t want to turn around and do the same thing your friend did to me. I didn’t want to have a relationship with you and then I realize I don’t have those types of feelings for you. I do like you, I really do, like there’s so many things about you that inspire me and make me happy. And I know if we were together— I would be SO HAPPY. But I didn’t want to do you like that— because I don’t have the same physical attraction you have. Call me shallow, I don’t care. I just don’t want to be the EXACT thing I’ve complained to you about 100 times. I didn’t want to put you through that, so it’s better this way. I’m sorry, I miss you so much. So so SO fucking much. Every day I think about how different things would have been if I kissed you while we were laying on my bed. I remember your laugh, energy, the voice and puppy dog eyes you had when you asked me questions about my life. I MISS YOU. But I know you deserve better, and I can’t do that to you.

you're never gonna see this but i hope you do know i love you dearly, with all my heart. i wouldn't say you were my first love but you were my first attachments. and its dumb for me to say that because we never did anything serious, but everytime i was with you my day was instantly better. i wish we could go back to the beginning of out relationship. in the beginning we were so happy, i miss the old us so much i really do wish you could see that i wished nothing but for us to be happy. i am so sorry for being the way i was, i really dont know why im like that. in the beginning we were so healthy, we were so so happy, feb and march are the months i wish i could go back to. i am so sorry we became toxic, i wish we could start over. my feelings are so mixed when it comes to you. you have a special place in my heart, you always will. i dont miss you, i miss us. the old us. and ive sadi this many times. theres not a day where i dont think about you. im always think, "why did i end up like this? why did i say this? what did i do that?" i wonder if you miss me, i hope you miss the old us like i do. i dream about the old us. i cannot explain how much i wish i could go back and be a better girlfriend, i really do wish the best for you. i hope you find yourself and good girl, a young girl who will fill your days with laughter and smiles. and young girl who will love you unconditionally like i did. who will cherish every moment with you like i did. will compliment you all the times like i did even though your insecure. i wished you could see what i see. we were both in the wrong in the end. we were both toxic. i will admit i was a bit more toxic than you, and i have no excuse for it. yes i do say we never dated but its to cover up the fact that i miss us. you will forever and always be in my mind bub, wish you nothing but the best for your future stinky.

There are times when I wish I could still be able to text you. You were a great help, honestly you were. I wish I could still get those mini updates on how life is going.

Jose, I liked you since the seventh grade, and I know you too. I regret never having had anything and only our looks and good deals, now that our lives are separated, to tell you that I love you, and I hope that fate brings us together

Lo siento, te prometi que la ayudaria, que no dejaría que esto pasara pero esta pasando, joder lo siento, no se que hacer, nadie me deja ayudarla ni ella misma se deja, lo siento padrino

Why. why did you do that. Fuck you and everything you stand for. You hurt me so much. But i still love you

no se, ni siquiera porque eres tan importante para mi, si solo nos conocimos en primaria, eras como mi mejor amigo, eres la persona que me enseño a defenderme, a hacer locuras, sabes nunca, nuca te pude olvidar y creo que tu ni siquiera te acuerdas de mi, no se porque le tomo tanta importancia, pero desde que te fuiste dejaste un gran vacio en mi, tu me haces falta, y eso me pone triste porque no se donde estas, si estas bien, si sabes de mi, si cambiaste, si....quiero saber de ti, te extraño, te necesito para llenar este vacio que dejaste.....entre mas cosas pero te las diré cuando te vea.
tqm(eres el único chico al que le he dicho eso, eres el único al que quiero, tqm amigo)
para J.F.R de M.A.N.F

i love you so much but we aren't even dating and you keep hurting me. i thought you would be the healing to my pain but you are making it deeper.

from the first day i met you i instantly fell in love. Whenever i talk to a guy the thought of you always pops up. You will never leave my mind. If you chose me my life would be so different. Ive been in love with you for 5 years. What do you say, Do you love me back?

I never knew why you change, all I know is that you will always be my best friend and I will always like you.

Heyy I don't know why I got attached to you so quickly. We were doing so good and then you completely dropped me and went for another girl. You made me feel like shit but anyways hope you have a good life ig.

I wish I didn’t say it was okay for you to date my best friend. It really hurts seeing you two together but Im glad to see you happy :) I’m sorry things didn’t work out for us.

Jamás tendré una mala palabra sobre ti.
Me enseñaste qué era el amor, cómo amar y como vivir cada minuto como si fuese el último.
Me diste los mejores meses de mi vida y la mayor felicidad de mi adolescencia.
Profundamente que agradecida de que fueses tú; lucharé por mantenerte presente. Te deseo lo mejor que la vida tenga para ofrecer.

III.Siempre

Hi I just wanted to say I think your really attractive and cute . And I know that's wrong everything about this is wrong buti just cant help to feel this way . I know we will never be together no matter how bad i want it I wont allow it still because that would be like lying to you. But I cant get the thought of you out of my head and it's starting to bother my friends and there getting annoyed of me so will you please just say you hate me and want nothing to do with me please because I cant keep going on like this its complete torture. I rather you hate me then make everyone find me annoying, there good friends I promise i just have alot of past trauma with this kind of stuff.

Anoche soñe contigo, soñe que estabas a mi lado como antes, era un cariño más que amigos...
Me desperte alusinando, con ganas de seguir soñando...
Te sigo extrañando y te sigo esperando.

hi my love. my love for you is unexplainable. someone i don’t think i can admit to myself how much i actually love you.

it'll be OK, i'm here, ill always be here, couldn't forget about you ,i hate you but that doesn't stop me from loving you

i thought we had a connection. i let you see a side of me that no one knew, but you just left like they all do

When it's late at night I start typing a message but i never send it. I just leave it there because your never gonna feel the same for me again.

i loved you more than i loved myself. i put your pain first before mine. my days would be awful but the minute i saw you, i felt on top of the world. i will never love again because of you. you said so many awful things to me and i still gave you my heart. we no longer talk and i feel dumb to still think of you everyday. i know you are in a bad place right now and everyday i want to call you and tell you i still love you. im always here for you because you are my happiness. i know you will never feel the same because i was never your first love but you were mine. you would say the nicest things and the meanest. yet i would still do anything for you. i love you and i miss you. i wish you would come back.

Te amo y siempre lo he echo ,nunca arriesgué a confesarme por temor al rechazo y perder tu amistad,de seguro no sientes lo mismo pero solo espero que sepas que le importante a alguien ,te amo bro♡

I’m sorry I hurt you. I still think about you every day and every second, everything reminds me of you. I hope you’re doing well, I love you

I want to thank you for showing me what love is. I want to thank you for treating me like a queen. I want to thank you for letting me love you. I want to thank you for giving me hope in the future. I want to thank you for hurting me in the end. For showing me that everything good always comes to an end. For showing me that no one will love me like you or even acknowledge me as you did. I want to thank you for having your new girlfriend call me. Shows what a real asshole you turned out to be and how blind love really makes you.

i really did love you. but you loved her and i could never be her no matter how hard i tried. i still miss and love you and i hate myself for it but no one can replace u

I i wish i could hold your soft hands again. I miss your laughs and the way your face would turn red when you thought you had embarrassed yourself infront of me. But in reality it lit me up just to be near you. You weren’t good with words but you showed your love and care for all things. I can’t get your songs out of my head.

hey , how are you doing tonight ? you doing okay ? i miss you a lot , im really happy i saved those chats , i listen to them before i go to bed ://. ( his favorite color is red ).