Unsent messages to JOSE

Hi :/ uh sorry about telling you that I knew about Kendra before you told me about her, yes I know its weird but all I did was check your following lol. anyways I miss you a lot I miss your text messages, u spamming my phone, your photos etc. thats it :) hope youre doing well.

There have been guys before you but I’ve never experienced things with them like I have with you. You showed me new things, gave me new feelings. Good and bad. But you always shared that you cared. No matter how many days went by where we didn’t talk.. everything just seemed perfect. I have love for you that absolutely no one else will have. I can tell you my deepest darkest secrets and express every emotion I ever feel. You listen, you care, you laugh, you are my person. I know I’m not urs and that’s ok. I’d keep you as a friend. As long as I have you

im in love w you and it took me a while to realize. im sorry for not letting you in but just know I’m coming back

a veces tengo miedo de todo lo que pasé con vos y me pregunto si era mi única oportunidad para sentir algo así, como lo nuestro

por que nunca me quisiste como yo te quise? me esforcé demasiado por ti, me la jugué demasiado y ni una sonrisa me diste.... porque rogaste estar conmigo si me ibas a lastimar?... me arrepiento de haberte amado... fui una tonta..

Bueno gracias por enseñarme a amar y por hacerme sentir diferente cada vez que hablaba contigo cada audio, cada foto, cada momento, cada te quiero, cada vez que te recuerdo, y no puedo más me siento fatal, siento que he sido un juguete para ti, mientras que para mi has sido el amor de mi vida, que no te puedo olvidar y que por mucho que haya hablado quedado o besado a otras chicas me es imposible un día no acordarme de ti, no recordarte y sentirme vacío porque no te tengo.

No consigo olvidarte y todo me da vueltas.
Hay días que quiero besarte solo dos segundos más, mirarte solo dos segundos más.
Pero, amor, te sigo temiendo.
Me destrozaste la vida, me destrozaste entera. No se que es vivir. Y te quiero y eso puede conmigo.

I still think about you. It's been over a year and for some reason, I still seem to hear your name or see your friends post you. I wish you could have given me the closure I wanted or told me that you just didn't love me anymore. I still see you in my dreams and I hate it. I've recently been on a date for the first time this year but they're just not you, so I had to let him go. I also had to unfollow you on social media and remove you from everything else because I just couldn't bear to see you post things like polls about asking people to go on dates with you. It hurt my heart and I couldn't bear it. As I'm typing this, a few tears fall down my cheek and it just goes to show that some scars really never heal, or at least they don't heal even after a whole year, it really does take time... I get tempted to request to follow you again but I know that will just make me look stupid and you'll just think I'm embarrassing myself or you'd probably just make fun of me for it. Who knows, I don't know you like that anymore. I hope you didn't take it the wrong way tho. We both needed some growing and maturing to do. Anyway, I hope you're doing good and I hope life has been treating you well. I'm sorry on my part for all the shit I've done to you. Sorry never meant a thing to you coming from me and I understood why but I really mean it. Anyways bye, you left your mark on me and your name will always be engraved on my heart. I hope one day you can find your true love, as will I. We both deserve it.
Sincerely,
Lala.

i miss you so much. it hurts that you started distancing yourself out of no where & being dry & you just stopped texting me :( you even promised me we would be the best of the bsf for many years :( i wish we could talk again, but it just wont be the same :(

We were soulmates. Not anymore, but I’ll cherish our memories together. There’s always going to be a place for you in my heart. Always.

Acepté que te amaré toda la vida, incluso en los momentos en que deseé odiarte. A pesar de que no sabes el daño que me causaste y lo mucho que sufrí por ti, deseo con todo mi corazón que seas feliz y que sanes tu interior. La persona que fuiste conmigo, siempre será una persona que vale la pena amar. No sé porqué sucedieron muchas cosas después de nuestro fin, tan solo espero no equivocarme al pensar que tu amor si fue verdadero y de que algún día dejarás de lastimarte a ti mismo, y te amarás.Gracias por todo, cuídate.
Aún tuya, por si algún día estas seguro de regresar.

I miss you
:')
Extraño tus abrazos, esos con los cuales consolabas mi llanto, esos con los que fulminabas mi soledad, esos con los que exterminabas mi angustia.... Por mas que quiera, no puedo remplazarte, nadie se iguala a ti, nadie logra enamorarme como tu lo hiciste, nadie encaja conmigo como tu solo hacías, se que nuestra historia hubiera sido perfecta... Mucho más de lo que ya era si no hubiera estado esa barrera de distancia, aunque diga que ya no me importas, que te olvide o que ya simplemente ya lo siento nada por ti, pues... Miento, eres la única la razón por la cual miento, es irónico demasiado para ser verdad, ya paso un año y si... Aun sigo queriéndote ver con las mismas ansias que tenia la primera vez que coordinamos todo...
Esa noche en el cine... Nuestro primer beso:')
La vez que escapamos...
Con el tiempo nos alejamos, tu te fuiste enamorado de alguien más y esta bien por que reconozco que no te supe amar como lo merecías... Se que eres feliz con ella y eso me pone contenta, ya que te quiero mucho y siempre querré lo mejor para ti. (Ella siempre fue lo mejor para ti)
No se como llegué hasta acá, pero cumpliré todo lo que te prometí...
Te recordaré siempre...
Te querré siempre...
Encontraré a esa persona...
Y si te lo preguntas aun sigo mirando las estrellas cuando te extraño...
"Cada estrella es un lunar en tu rostro" fue lo que te dije aquella noche... Un día antes de que todo terminará

I mean like I say I don’t care but also I will burn ur house down lol we wildin right so so crazy I’m scared ooo ?

Debí dejar mi orgullo atrás y decirte lo que sentía, pero como siempre el tiempo nos ganó y la distancia nos alejo, ahora eres feliz con alguien más y eso me pone contenta...
You will always be in my heart Jose, I love you

Desde que te vi supe que tu eras para mi pero tal vez no fue así yo te amaba y tu solo me querías te deseo que encuentres lo mejor yo hubiera podido ser o hacer todo por ti pero un día me di cuenta que no era así ya te supere pudrete

I would have loved to have stayed at your house one day watch netflix with maruchan soup and Don't let go until they come for me.

Se supone que es un mensaje de amor, pero yo en mi caso quiero decir cuanto aprecie tu amistad y lamento que te haya tocado una mala amiga como yo, espero te encuentres muy bien

i spent months of my life crying over you and you moved on so fast it hurt me more than you could imagine. you made a promise and broke it, i’m left with the heartbreak that you deserve. i still love you and now i mean nothing to you. we planned our future together , everything together. i love you i miss you but i hate you. i’m heartbroken even months later.

Us joking around as a couple is funny, cute and all, but it really fucks with my heart. I wish you werent joking.

I overthink a lot about are relationship when I never did but I am starting to after you kept talking about your ex when we were on ft you wouldn't stop talking about she sounds amazing and you even talked about what she got you for valentines day and what you got her fo valentines day and I made me wanna cry just thinking how perfect you too sounded for each other and I feel like deep down in my gut your still like her and if you do I say go for it ask her out while she's single and break up with me again...

Me alegra que todo se haya acabado. Realmente, pensé que no serías tan cobarde para volver después de claramente decir que la preferías a ella.

I love you ?I’ll always love you I wish you the best I know you used me but I fell in love with you and I’ll always love you

Your the first to my everything, the thought of losing u breaks my heart, I hope u never make my fear of losing u come true. I love you n I always will..

I loved you more than myself, that was my first mistake, the next one was never telling you, yours was falling in love with her, but it's already past

Thank you for everything. You’re going places. Don’t let anybody tell you otherwise and don’t believe them. Be there for yourself like you are with others.

i used to think you were the right person at the wrong time but then i realized you were never the right person in the first place.

i miss you. i want you back. i’m miserable without you. but i hope ur doing good while i’m suffering with out you :(

i know it's a really hard time right now. but even though i'm your best friend, you need to understand that just because i have feelings for you doesn't mean i can't get hurt when you just tread the line. im tired of waiting for the pain to stop but i cant let go of you no matter how hard i try.

i miss everything about you. i’ve never felt this way about anybody and if we could do it all again i’d chose you over anything. it wasn’t my fault but i wish things would’ve gone differently. you are my first love, my everything. i would give up the world to have you back. i miss you but i know you’re happier without me. i love you forever.

I do hate you. I hate how you made me love you and then just left like I did not matter. I hate you yet I still wish I could have you back.

I hope one day I can decide to forgive you. I know you won’t ever apologize or acknowledge the pain you caused me. But, my soul deserves peace.

today is your 21st birthday. i texted you for the first time in months. you still respond instantly. and i still love you.

Hey cutie, I'm ngl when I first saw you I wasn't as interested in you. But when we started talking, I started to get interested in you but you was a hoe. Ong you was lol but then when we started to talk again you seemed like you changed and I like the change. But I hope we keep on talking and get to know each other more :)

I wish you weren’t so cruel to me bc all I did was love you to the moon and back...even if we weren’t dating. And although you’re much better off without me I wish you nothing but the best.

I’m still holding on to us... tho it might be better this way. But if it is better, why does it feel so wrong? Let’s fix this.

I like you. I'm sorry I act ditzy when I'm around you I get nervous. I'm sorry I didn't feel the same prior I didn't know how to express my emotions. If you wanna get in touch and feel the same way, literally just ask her my number.