Unsent Messages

you're never gonna see this but i hope you do know i love you dearly, with all my heart. i wouldn't say you were my first love but you were my first attachments. and its dumb for me to say that because we never did anything serious, but everytime i was with you my day was instantly better. i wish we could go back to the beginning of out relationship. in the beginning we were so happy, i miss the old us so much i really do wish you could see that i wished nothing but for us to be happy. i am so sorry for being the way i was, i really dont know why im like that. in the beginning we were so healthy, we were so so happy, feb and march are the months i wish i could go back to. i am so sorry we became toxic, i wish we could start over. my feelings are so mixed when it comes to you. you have a special place in my heart, you always will. i dont miss you, i miss us. the old us. and ive sadi this many times. theres not a day where i dont think about you. im always think, "why did i end up like this? why did i say this? what did i do that?" i wonder if you miss me, i hope you miss the old us like i do. i dream about the old us. i cannot explain how much i wish i could go back and be a better girlfriend, i really do wish the best for you. i hope you find yourself and good girl, a young girl who will fill your days with laughter and smiles. and young girl who will love you unconditionally like i did. who will cherish every moment with you like i did. will compliment you all the times like i did even though your insecure. i wished you could see what i see. we were both in the wrong in the end. we were both toxic. i will admit i was a bit more toxic than you, and i have no excuse for it. yes i do say we never dated but its to cover up the fact that i miss us. you will forever and always be in my mind bub, wish you nothing but the best for your future stinky.