i was surprised when you did that to me, to say the least. i knew you were that type of person. may you rest in hell.

I don’t know what we are but when I catch your gaze across the room I automatically smile and I don’t know what we can or are or will be but I wanted to be something, anything

The fact I know that I’ll never be good enough breaks me to the point I don’t even know if you’ll love me again

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You make my heart race every time you touch me. Sometimes I get scared you’ll hear it beating out my chest.

I want to hug you real tight, hang out with you, and just talk... I wish I could tell you how much I love you and how much I miss you.

i don't think we're right for eachother anymore.. i can't stand you and i know i don't make you happy anymore. what are we waiting for?

tbh youre a really shitty person. youre selfish and use your mental health to your advantage and to manipulate people. you really did treat me like shit.

today felt more like a break up than our actual breakup did.

I’ll stay out of your way from here on out, but I still want butcher block counters and tiny versions of us.

today felt more like a break up than our actual breakup did.

I’ll stay out of your way from here on out, but I still want butcher block counters and tiny versions of us.

today felt more like a break up than our actual breakup did.

I’ll stay out of your way from here on out, but I still want butcher block counters and tiny versions of us.

today felt more like a break up than our actual breakup did.

I’ll stay out of your way from here on out, but I still want butcher block counters and tiny versions of us.

i told you i was scared of getting hurt again and then you hurt me more than anyone else. i hope u got what u wanted and are happy now.

you smiled in the middle of music class today. my heart melted.

it's hard to explain, but i think i realized that i lose myself in relationships. i give up my ambitions and my goals and my hopes, because i really wanted to make you happy.

I avoid going to campus, because i think if i see you, i would run to you.

ian, i miss you so much. it feels like i put my heart through a garbage disposal.

this sucks.

i'm sorry i dont have the capacity for a romantic relationship and it's okay if you can't just be friends. i get it. i just don't want to lose you entirely.

em

its been a week since you last held me in your arms.

i see you in everything.

i dream about you every night.

i just want a hug.

i pin your zoom video every class. emily gets mad at me.

sometimes it makes me happy to see your face.

sometimes it crushes me a little.

i think it all comes and goes in waves.

idk if you'll ever even see these.

i'm sorry for adding to that note. its not fair for you to have to live in my brain. i dont know how to do this. i broke both our hearts and i cant move past that.

yours,

em

I feel like I saw one of these that were from you , it had my name, and it wasn’t long after I left one of these for you. If it’s you send me a sign , I would love to say sorry and forgive and forget. If it wasn’t you I’ll be okay in knowing that my memories of you and the time we had with our friends was the best of my whole life.

I will always love you. And i know it’s obvious u don’t like me. And that’s okay. I just wanted to tell u you are an amazing person. Your smile,your laugh,your respect for ppl. I rlly admire you for that.

my heart still and will always belong to you. theirs always going to be a little hole in my heart because of you. but it wasn’t your fault. i still love you just not in that way.

I wish so bad that you’d grown more over the years we haven’t seen each other, I miss our love so much it still aches sometimes, but you’re still that 18 year old boy I met 15 years ago & I know it would never be like it was.

I wish so bad that you’d grown more over the years we haven’t seen each other, I miss our love so much it still aches sometimes, but you’re still that 18 year old boy I met 15 years ago & I know it would never be like it was.

it's been three days since i last cut. you would be proud of me.

i never even told you it was happening. but you'd be proud of me i think.

i'm trying really hard to stay out of your life.

I cry to myself after I have a good time, I feel guilty for being happy when I know I hurt you. I love you so much, and I appreciate you for everything you did. You turned me into a better person.

you're the first person that made me feel okay. i havent felt that since youve been gone. why did you hurt me? i miss the old you. it hurts so bad, ian. youve made me feel like im nothing

I couldn’t be happier that you’ve grown into the new chapter in your life, but it’s heartbreaking that I was left in the last.

I keep having this dream where I find out I’m pregnant and I have to decide if I’ll tell you or not. I still don’t know the answer.

E

Why'd you put in the effort and come to me when you knew what you wanted all along was totally different.

I still want to love you.

but I can’t even love myself right now.

and I just want you to hold me tight.

em

i remember you told me you'd never felt like youve experienced love before. i know i love you, and i think you love me too now. i want to tell you so bad, but telling you would complicate the place were in even more. so ill just wait until you tell me first.

I miss you. I didn't realize how good I had it until I let it all slip away from me. If I could rekindle what we had, I would. You're living your life and I'm living mine. When I listen to Between Friends, their songs remind me of us. I hope we bump into each other one day, stranger.

I check my name constantly. I miss you so much.

but idk.

I don’t think you know how often you made me cry. I think if you did, it would devastate you.

You told me that I never let you get to be hurt. I was hurt far more often than I told you. I still wanted to protect you, even when you made me feel insufficient.

I am not going to be small anymore to make other people comfortable.

e

eu te amo tanto mas sinto que as coisas não estão mais funcionando entre a gente, isso está me matando.

I can't believe you did that to me. I think you've ruined me because I see you everyone and everything. I hate you, you had no right to do that to me.

i love my new ring, and i love seeing your smile light up in spanish at slav saying something silly.

you make me want to be better. if im better for me, i can be better for you.

forever and always right?

praying for you always,

em

We're going a little fast, but it's not a bad or scary fast. To be completely honest i see us getting married.

it gets better for us, i promise.

i listened to one of your old voice notes this morning. can i call you one day? you can just send me to voicemail, but i want to hear your voice.

kinda bummed music was cancelled bc it meant i didn’t see you today.

em

i still miss you, i miss the connection we had. words can't explain how in love with you i was. hope you're doing well.

i love you and miss you.

i miss Ellie and your family.

one day, my love, we will be back together again. for now, i'll just stare at you on zoom, and wish i was sitting there with you.

emma

I've liked you since my freshman year but every time I get my hopes up some other girl takes your breath away. I've seen it for two years now I'm numb to it . But it still hurts . Because I still saved those thoughts, tik toks, false hopes . Makes it harder every time but I tried to just not let it bother . Now here I go again heart broke . Watching it play out once again as all that manifesting and hoping goes to waste . I mean what's one more heartbreak ? I've gotten it hurt before .

getting these from you is still one of my favourite things. please dont be sorry.

there are so many things in my life that are so saturated with you, and now everything feels empty.

sometimes i check find my friends to see if youre close.

i just wanna give you a big hug.

a & f
em

getting these from you is still one of my favourite things. please dont be sorry.

there are so many things in my life that are so saturated with you, and now everything feels empty.

sometimes i check find my friends to see if youre close.

i just wanna give you a big hug.

a & f
em

i don’t think i’ve had one yet...i have a bf. we’ve been together for almost a year and i can never say...i’ve been in love

If you’re going to date someone who is in the lgbt community, care about their rights maybe. Don’t ignore them.

thank you for talking to me. maybe it’s just me holding onto the past, but my heart will always love you. i hope life treats you well.

i like you, i have interest in you. you seek and go girl after girl, why? i could give you all that, but i guess its hard doing so seeing as we are both boys and, you, are homophobic... i hope one day we can be together and just kiss under the rain ian, i like you but you dont even know me lol

you were my first love and you knew it. you didn’t do anything wrong. i wish i listened to my friends.

i really loved you, and ik its stupid because im young but I did. you on the other hand?you were bored and didn't have anything better to do so you messed with my feelings until you found someone better, made up an excuse, and left. but why? why? I was always there for you. always. through the fights with your dad, your brother being a dick, toxic girls, injuries, depression, anxiety, ed, everything and you still left me for a girl who has many hoes. little do you know, that I dropped so many guys for you and im still rejecting so many amazing guys because im caught up on you even though you're over me. why am I doing this you may ask? well idk either tbh. not like you're ever gonna see this. not like you're ever gonna apologize. not like you're ever gonna come back. not like things are ever gonna be the same. but I wish. so as I sit here at 3am crying over you once again and questioning everything, I hope you know that I will always love and care for you no matter what.

p.s. it’s okay if youve fallen out of love with me. i wouldn’t blame you. everyone does.

idk. you still have my heart even if I don’t get the privilege of having yours anymore.

You’re a great guy, I miss you so much. Not even in a romantic way just in the way that you could always make me smile. I hope she makes you so happy... YOU DESERVE IT!!!

i think my biggest fear in all of this is that you never really loved me for me, but i was mostly just convenient, or that i was the one who showed up at the right time.

and im scared that you're now realizing that im not wrong on this one.