Unsent messages to EVAN

i miss you so much. i wish i could have you. im sorry if i did anything wrong but i miss you. come back

i never thought it would be possible to like someone this much. i don’t think there’s ever been a second where you aren’t on my mind it’s crazy. you make me so unbelievably happy and everytime i get a notification from you my face lights up and i sometimes can’t tell if you are real because you’re just too perfect for this world.

i love you for and ever. as frank ocean said “i will always love you.. how i do”. it will always be you. even if we fully go our separate ways, it will always lead back to you in my heart.

i met you last year around this this, now you have a girlfriend of ur own and i have a boyfriend of my own. crazy how time flies

I miss you a ton. You made me feel so special and I really thought you were going to be the one. Maybe one day we will be able to survive the distance :(

we were just friends but why did you look at me as if you thought of me to be more. then, gush about other girls to me. why did you have to do that to me? now that i’ve ended things, who did you replace me with? are you happy with her? don’t mess things up with her. tell her how much you appreciate your friendship. let her know how important she is to you. all while you still have her. really, just don’t treat her the way you treated me.

Hi. I know you probably don't remember me so i'll keep this blunt. thanks for everything, even though we were in 4th grade at the time. That one day you spent with me on the swings was amazing. I still remember it to this day and I have no idea why. But to be frank, that was the most romantic thing that has ever happened to me, even if it wasn't meant to be. So anyways I've always wondered what happened to you after you moved, well anyways thanks. Bye.

I dont hate you
I just hate the way you changed
or maybe you've always been this way and I'm just now realizing it

actually, no. you know what? fuck u.
made me realize you were never really mine.
all those text messages always meant nothing. all those words. soft touches. nothing.
fuck you for being just another guy.
I thought you were different.
ig not.
I dont know why I held on for so long.
but im finally letting go.
thanks for giving me a reason to hate you.
you lost someone who would have given you the world. once you realize what u lost, I won't be here to take you back. goodbye. you turned into someone who I never thought you'd be.

stop hitting me up when you get bored, some of us are grown (& I don’t have the anger to tell you to fuck off.)

i dont know if you were my first love, but for some reason i cry when i hear your name. i never knew what to say to you, but you made feel so safe. i hope youre doing well, lets catch up soon

no offense but fuck u for using me to make urself happy until u felt like u didnt need me anymore and left me wondering where i went wrong.

hey evan just thought you should know im in love with you again. apparently you're just the default for my heart and mind

I love you so much. I truly think you’re my soulmate.. but you’re too good for me. I’m so fucking damaged. I’m sorry

i ever so often think abt what we would be rn if u didnt leave but then i realize that im better w out u yk? still hurts u left tho. we both like smo else now but i still sit there and look at that heart u gave me and i dont think i deserve it tbh. bcuz u told me today that she has ur heart now, yet u said that heart means that ill always have your heart and and youll always love me. so i feel like i dont deserve it, yet i dont wna offer to give it back bcuz ur js gna give it to her. anyways, i dont think i miss u, js hurts that u left after 7 months.

i hate what u did to me and i hate what i am bc of you. i hate you but i can’t stop thinking about you

You are honestly the only person who ever made me happy. I don’t know why I keep doing this to
Myself and involving my self in your life when you want nothing to do with me. I want you so bad and you aren’t mine. I don’t understand what I did wrong. I did everything for you and all you did to me was cause so much pain but I still was there for you whenever you needed me. I love you so much but honestly fuck you. You broke me.

I always knew we were the definition of right person wrong time. I just held hope we could make it the right time.

i love u. ive loved u forever. why cant u just love me back? u promised we would hang out when i visited but ig u were just too busy with ur friends. i shouldnt love u. i should just move on with my life and date a guy who loves me and treats me with respect. but for some reason i just cant. i love u and i will never ever stop loving u.

I still hope it's us one day. You taught me to love and then lose. I now know what heartbreak is, I know. I love you, i always will

it’s crazy how fast you can change how im feeling. sometimes it’s for the best and sometimes it’s not.

I keep telling myself and everyone else im over it and im over you, but my stomach drops a little too far when I see you, and I smile too often when I talk to you, and when its 3 am and im lonely ur who comes to mind. so maybe im not over you but god how I wish I was

i've always loved u. ever since that one time we locked eyes 8 years ago. ever since we were little kids in preschool. its u. its always been u. i just wish u felt the same about me

I have been wanting to say this to you for so long and I'm scared to do it in person, so... I love you

im going on a date tomorrow. i was thinking about what id do if you came back. drop everything and run to you. please give me one more chance. i love you. i love you so much i never felt that way about anyone other than you. and youre not here and i still love you. doesnt that mean something to you. i hope so. you still sneak into my dreams and i hate you for that. come back. everything reminds me of you. anyways bye and i still love you.

s

you still show up in my dreams. i cant help but think that must mean something. please give me a sign.

hi, i just wanted to let you know how much you mean to me and always will. you were my first love and best friend. i just wish i could tell you how much i still care for you.

i cant get rid of this stupid piece of me that still says "what if?" i miss you and i hate it. come back

we met in 2nd grade and you left before 4th but I had a giant crush on you years after, thanks for being my friend

Where did we go wrong? Why wasn’t I good enough? I need closure...I need peace.I need missing you to be harder and I need happiness to come easier even tho ur not apart of it.

i’ll always love you, forever boy. i hope that you are happier now, thank you for everything you gave me , i’m sorry i couldn’t give you everything you wanted.

why were you so mean in the end i’ll forever love you and yet u walked all over me and hurt me in ways i’ve never been hurt before

i wish i didn’t have to keep competing with her for you, i feel like you like me though and i hope it isn’t in my head

This letter is supposed to be to my first love, so hi Evan. I know I wasn't your first love, but you were 100% mine. You probably won't ever see this, but I wanted you to know I think of you whenever I listen to Vampire Weekend. I hope you're doing well, and I hope you think of me sometimes.

i know you're going to come back every time. but i'm never going to be enough for you to stay. fuck you, i love you

it was nice talking to you tonight. i really miss being friends, but i'm glad you're happy and i wish you the best

I’m so sorry for being such a dumb bitch. It has taken like three years to realize i’m in love with you, it’s always been you but i am such a fucking dumbass to where i let you slip through and now i don’t know if you’ll ever feel the same way again

I’m so sorry for being such a dumb bitch. It has taken like three years to realize i’m in love with you, it’s always been you but i am such a fucking dumbass to where i let you slip through and now i don’t know if you’ll ever feel the same way again

i still miss you so much. i always find myself thinking about how happy we could’ve been, i want us back :(

we were always more than besties. i miss you. i love you, Ev. i'm glad we had what we did, i miss you in my life

I really thought we were going to end up together. When I thought of my future, you were in it. I hope you come back to me.

You said it wasn't your fault you lost feelings. but it wasn't my fault that I liked you. so that means that we are both guilty. it's getting harder to make myself believe that I don't need you because turns out you were the only thing that kept my smile. I'm losing myself again but this time you're not here to help me find me. I'm sorry I'm not good enough or pretty enough. I hope your next girl treats you as well as you should be treated.

its almost been a year and i still miss you. idek why because youre so toxic but its because you came into my life when i needed someone the most but then you broke me.

I miss the energy we used to have. Now I can feel you losing feelings and there's nothing I can do about it

if I had five minutes left to live i’d spend four of them telling you everything I never could and the last one to tell you I love you and yet you wonder why I still have hope.

First loves should be pure. I hate you for twisting me up to be like you. I wish I could hurt you back.

i love you
so so much
it was perfect
you complimented me 24/. we laughed. we smiled and it was easy.
then you went to camp
and came back someone i don’t even know.
i lost someone i finally trusted
and it’s ur fault

you made me understand what taylor swift meant when she sang about love... i'll love you forever for that♡

It will always be you. I miss you even though you're right here. I'm happy you're happy, I just wish it could have been me

I picked your favorite color. Thanks for helping me love myself even though you only loved me as a friend and I wanted more. I hope you’re girlfriend is giving you the love you deserve.