i still miss you so much. i always find myself thinking about how happy we could’ve been, i want us back :(

i told you i didn't like it and it hurt my feelings and I didn't know how to explain it without feeling judged so I apologized.

telling my friends you stood me up 4 times is worse than telling them what you keep asking me not to. idiot.

I'm not mad. Really I'm not. I understand to an extent and I know why you felt like you had to be rude in order to get the message across. I just wish you hadn't let me go on believing for so long. You helped me a lot but you took a lot of it when you left. Im getting it back tho, and this time I'm letting me heal myself. That way im not relying on anyone else. Thank you for teaching me that I am the only person that can help me rn.

I took it personally when u stopped talking to me because I never would have done it to you. when u stopped talking to me it was like you died because I knew that was the end somehow, forever. I know if it was meant to be it would have been but part of me still hopes you would come back. every memory seems fake though because now I know all you wanted was sex, and not that you genuinely cared about me. I thought we were gonna be friends for at least awhile, but all good things come to an end. I didn't want to hookup with you though I never had the courage to tell you because I didn't want to ruin a good thing but unfortunately that didn't change a thing. at first I wanted to go off on you, but then I realized you wouldn't give a shit because this was all just a game to you. you were right, you aren't a good person. at all actually. you did a great job hiding it though.

white jersey...black zink smeared under your sonic blue eyes...sweaty hair. That was what you were wearing the first time we locked eyes. I did not even know who you were. You pulled off your football helmet with your right hand after your game and shook your head left and right. that was when I knew that you were someone special.
-k
(dark blue to match his eyes)

white jersey...black zink smeared under your sonic blue eyes...sweaty hair. That was what you were wearing the first time we locked eyes. I did not even know who you were. You pulled off your football helmet with your right hand after your game and shook your head left and right. that was when I knew that you were someone special.
-k
(dark blue to match his eyes)

sometimes i wish you were still here but at the same time you’ve caused me so much pain, i want you back, but the old evan i knew and loved before.

I had a dream about you the other night. I screamed at you and said that I hated you, but I still loved you. The two most opposite things in the world, but how is it true that I feel both for you? Seeing you having lunch with my ex best friend last week, broke me. All the feelings I've ever had for you came flooding back. I don't know what to do. I want so badly to reach out to you, but I don't think I can take anymore pain. I hate that if you called me right now, I'd pick up in an instant. I hate that I miss you. I hate that you broke my heart. I hate that I am still searching for a way to put it back together. I hate that I still love you even after all you've put me through.

hey. you’re my best friend and i love you so much. we’ve been together for a while now but idk how much longer it’s gonna last. you moving is gonna hurt me so much. you’re my best friend. talking to you is my favourite. you will always mean so much to me. ily evan, nothing will ever change that
:(

hey. you’re my best friend and i love you so much. we’ve been together for a while now but idk how much longer it’s gonna last. you moving is gonna hurt me so much. you’re my best friend. talking to you is my favourite. you will always mean so much to me. ily evan, nothing will ever change that
:(

evan hays. you’re my best friend. i trust you more than my other friends which i have known for years longer than you. you make me feel special and wanted and beautiful. you’re always there to talk or to joke around with. i love it when on my bad days you take the time to make sure i’m ok. i will always be there for you. you can tell me anything. i just wanna know what’s really wrong, ok. i want you to be ok . anyways, ily

i am laying in my bed, staring at the 9h on delivered... wondering if you are texting someone instead of me

idk how u have so much power over me...I wonder, do I have the same power over u or am I another one of ur conquests

without u i can't breathe... i am drowning in my own mind, u are the only one who can lead me out of the darkness

I can't believe I saw you having lunch with my high school best friend. The universe is funny like that. I'd be lying if I said it didn't hurt. I couldn't look you in the eye because I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I want so badly to reach out to you and ask why you guys were together. But I know the answer would just hurt me more. Thinking of my future without the possibility of you in it, hurts like hell. The finality of that chapter in my life closing, scares me. I held onto hope that we would meet up in 10 years and fall back in love, but my hope was destroyed the instant I saw you and her together. I've reread our love story everyday for the past year, but now it's time for me to close the book and move on. This is my goodbye to you, I'll value our memories forever, but I don't love you anymore.

If I could choose the brightest colour to describe you I would -you radiate positivity. Everybody who knows you loves you. You are so good. But the best thing about is that you are unaware of your effect on people. On me. You lift me up and take me to the side where the grass is greener. I don’t know if I could live without you. I’m so dependent on you and your love that I don’t know if it’s such a good thing sometimes. But I don’t think I’m wrong about you. I hope you’re here to stay. I hope I’m not too much for you. I really hope so.

I miss you every day. I compare everyone to you. I cannot shake the thought of you and what we would’ve had if you had stayed. But you changed your mind, and that is all I was left with.

I love it when you wave to me in the halls and even though I know you are in a happy relationship I still fell for you.

I’m so sorry for being such a dumb bitch. It has taken like three years to realize i’m in love with you, it’s always been you but i am such a fucking dumbass to where i let you slip through and now i don’t know if you’ll ever feel the same way again

I’m so sorry for being such a dumb bitch. It has taken like three years to realize i’m in love with you, it’s always been you but i am such a fucking dumbass to where i let you slip through and now i don’t know if you’ll ever feel the same way again

thank you for teaching me a life lesson. but now im scared to love again. idk what im going to do. you were the reason i woke up every morning and you were my motivation. my heart still stops everytime i see you or even when i see your name in my phone. i will always love you no matter how bad you hurt me though.. ?

i dont understand why you got to be happy so easy. after all the bad things you did you were the one who got to be happy. thats so not fair.

I think that I have finally let go and moved on. But every now and then I think of how hard you made me laugh and how happy I was when I was with you. Sad thing is you never felt that way about me, or you wouldn't have left so quickly.

hey evan! things may not have turned out so good, but i’m here for you, despite the chaos i wanna be your calm in the storm. take care and i’ll see you again.

it was nice talking to you tonight. i really miss being friends, but i'm glad you're happy and i wish you the best

You made me happy when I was depressed but now that your gone I fell back into the world of depression but I still love you.

I hate you. I’m not mad that you don’t care or that I don’t mean much to you, I’m mad that you take advantage of the soft spot I have for you. Regardless of how much you prove you don’t care, you always come back telling me you’re sorry and I let you back in hoping things could be the way they were. I don’t miss you, but I miss who you were when we first spoke. Maybe I was too naive to see you for who you really were but thats the person I miss. And every time it ends the same. Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result is the definition of insanity. And I know we’re bad for each other and it would never work out. Idk why I care sm abt you and Idek how to define what we what, but it was something.

I would let you break my heart 1000 more times if that means i get to spend even a fraction of a minute with you

i know you're going to come back every time. but i'm never going to be enough for you to stay. fuck you, i love you

I wish you knew you saved me from myself. I wouldn’t be here without you, even though we had a short time together. So come back dummy I need you more than ever

This letter is supposed to be to my first love, so hi Evan. I know I wasn't your first love, but you were 100% mine. You probably won't ever see this, but I wanted you to know I think of you whenever I listen to Vampire Weekend. I hope you're doing well, and I hope you think of me sometimes.

while i cannot say that I have enjoyed being heartbroken, i will say that the pain i endured in your absence invigorated the artist within me and inspired me to write again.

i wish i didn’t have to keep competing with her for you, i feel like you like me though and i hope it isn’t in my head

I want you and I have wanted you since the first time I knew you. Thank you for being you and never change no matter what anyone says about you.

my love, I can’t let you go because something always brings me back to you and everytime I’m thankful it does

my love, I can’t let you go because something always brings me back to you and everytime I’m thankful it does

why were you so mean in the end i’ll forever love you and yet u walked all over me and hurt me in ways i’ve never been hurt before

I gave you all of me and you left without a thought..
And yet I’d go through it all again.. that’s how much I love you

6 months, spent together every second, every minute, every day spent together and yet you were never in love with me.. I wish I could believe you

i think that i've repressed every single aspect of our relationship. when i look at you, i don't see you as my first. i see you as simply an obnoxious piece of shit.

You were awful towards me, yet you were my first love, you left a scar on me and I’ll never forget it.

I don’t know how you feel about me yet. but i really am hoping you feel the same way i feel about you. you make me feel so safe and so comfortable. you’re so rare in my eyes.

if you never wanted to speak to me again, why unblock me? this time it’s up to you, show that you care and get over yourself and your pride or let me go, if you ever cared then at least stop giving me false hope

i know i treated you wrong in the past but I just wanna make you feel special now i love you so much.

i’ll always love you, forever boy. i hope that you are happier now, thank you for everything you gave me , i’m sorry i couldn’t give you everything you wanted.

Where did we go wrong? Why wasn’t I good enough? I need closure...I need peace.I need missing you to be harder and I need happiness to come easier even tho ur not apart of it.

You are the one who I want to spend time with all the time, however, we are a secret... just a secret.

I picked your favorite color. Thanks for helping me love myself even though you only loved me as a friend and I wanted more. I hope you’re girlfriend is giving you the love you deserve.

Hi Evanie, I love you. I told you about this website so I hope when you search up your name you will find this. You are my soulmate and I am so grateful you are in my life. Let's do MDMA together?