Unsent messages to ERIC

I think you’re the first person i’ve ever loved in this way. I hope you continue to open up to me as time goes on. Thankful for you

You used me and then had the nerve to invite me to your wedding. I bet you didn't think I'd show up. I'm glad I did, if only to watch you agonizing the entire time.

I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately and I’m not sure why. But I’m doing so good rn that I’m not gonna mess this up for me. If u texted me I would honestly try to make it work between us. But I’m doing just fine on my own and I want you to know that.

I wish I could hate you for leaving me, but I probably wouldn’t even hate you if you stuck a knife in my back.

if i had another chance i would do things differently, i’m so sorry, thank you for that moment of time

Loving you made me realize that people who really care about you will ask about your situation, I see you didn't even try to fake it.

pro tip: don't confess your love for somebody and immediately follow it up with trying to control who i talk to

Thanks for making me feel safe around u and for teaching me how I should always be treated. I’ll always love and miss you

Hey,

I've known you for a long time now but you have known me for almost 6 months. It's weird isn't? My dad told me about you when he saw that we were going to the same school. I bet you didn't even notice me. But i did notice you. Everytime we had an activity at school i was always looking if we were in the same group. If i could talk to you, be your friend. Last year, i saw you were walking nearby and i decided to talk louder. You heard me and spoke your first words to me. Well, not your very first words, because we met when we were ten. Funny right. And during the summer break, this year, i heard that we were going to be classmates. I was happy because i could finally talk to you, be your friend. But you were kinda dissapointing.You are racist and uneducated. I am still confused whether i liked you or not, whether i still like you or not. Maybe i would be in love with you if you didnt have a shitty personality, maybe i would....

u dont know how happy to be w u again its been almost 2 weeks since weve gotten back together and u dont know how much it impacted me positively. is started eating and caring abt myself. i love u so much even though i havent actually told u but u play such a big part in my life now. my feelings for u never changed since we date before. im still deeply in love with u and lets hope u feel the same way sooner or later. please dont leave again. we can do it again. i promise.
-

I want to tell you that I miss you and i want you back but it's so hard because you're with her now ...
How could you move on so fast i thought i was your "number one " .It really hurts ...
I wish you all the best _ Wiseman

i miss you. i know you don’t miss me. running into each other yesterday was what i needed though. because you held the door for me and then realized it was me and both our eyes lit up for half a second. and then we remembered that we’re not each other’s people anymore. and for a split second everything was normal again. we laughed for a second and i remembered how tall you are compared to me. even after we got home and started texting it felt normal again. it felt like i hadn’t lost you. god i wish i didn’t loose you.

Hey Eric, long time no see huh? you’re.. wonderful. I’m so proud of you. you’ve accomplished so much. I still remember when we played minecraft in your room or when you hugged me during our school sleepover. I realized too late how much I loved you and I moved away. I haven’t seen you since that day I moved, but oh how I miss you. you’re a star now, you’re famous. we both had the same dream of becoming an actor and... you’ve done it. I’m jealous of you, and I think I still love you.

was she worth leaving me without a goodbye? was i not good enough? what did she do/ have that i didnt? it hurt so fucking much i hope you know that

I'm sorry about how I treated you. I was toxic, selfish, and codependent. I had to end things to better myself. You deserve better after all those years.

i thought we were gonna get married and here we are never speaking a word to each other. i guess times really do change. people change

i wish i could tell u about the dream i had about u. i felt like u were really there, & when i woke up & u weren't i was all :(

sometimes i just feel so ANGRYYY like why did things have to turn out like this. why did u have to change

I’m gnna look back at this and wonder why I chased you for so long and I still am. It’s your smile, your laughs, the way you make me feel that had me the first time we talked. I wonder if we’re ever gnna be together since we both aren’t ready for anything yet. I’m so in love with you and you don’t know it. I fell hard and I never came back up. If I wanted to let you go I would have. I’ve never chased after someone for this long.

i don’t get where i went wrong. i cant even enjoy my favourite things anymore, all i think of is you.

Hey, look. I’m not here to write some sappy love letter. I’m not here to tell you I want you back. I love you forever and always but hey. Wake the fuck up. I’m done being treated like shit. You tell me you regret loving me and ever telling me you thought I was pretty or beautiful. You tell me we can be friends then ghost me and then ridicule me and call me clingy when I reach out after months of silence. You broke me and left me with nothing. Although you got me through tough times, you created a hardship 100x worse because you wouldn’t I fight for me like you fought for her. Yeah I get it I’m not good enough for you. But fuck you for making me feel like I was good enough for you and then leaving and breaking me. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t think. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Yes I love you but rn my hurt overpowers my love and I’m done. I’m done.

You are my best friend and I don't know what id do without you you make me happy when I dont want to be happy I even introduced you to my mom and you guys text each other often what makes me really happy please never leave

I love you but you hurt me so much I did everything right and you still did me dirty but im giving you a second chance right now and I hope you don't mess up because I really want us to work and I feel like it could its just a little hard to trust you 24/7 after what you did but I hope our relationship gets better because you really make me happy and I see a life with you but what you did is still in the back of my head but I can't let go of you you are my best friend the only person comfortable with and I love what we have im just scared of getting cheated on again I hope you really meant that apology

i love you but I'm so tired. I don't wanna give up on us but I'm emotionally exhausted. u came into my life and made me so happy but u gave up when I needed u most. I'm never gonna hate u but u made me hate and question everything abt myself. and guess what ? ill do it again. id go back and relive everything knowing this is how it was gonna end jus to feel that happy. ur breaking me and I'm losing myself. it feels like everyday is jus repeating itself since the day u said u lost ur love for me. u replaced me that fast. how did u replace me that fast. I was ur baby. ur world. ur everything. n now she's in the picture. "ill always love u and care abt u." ha. ig I was always right. I knew I was gonna mess everything up n u were gonna give up on us. I can't even blame u. I trusted u with my body and now I can't even take it back. I thought u were the one. ik were only 15 but idk. I jus feel connected to u ig. maybe I jus had rly bad attachment issues. why would u pick her ? I know that she was there for u but so was i. I was the one sending u paragraphs. I was the one crying bc I fucked up ur mental health. I was the one worried abt u. I was the one who cared the most. I'm tired of begging. I jus feel so worthless. I tried everything I could possibly do to get u back n nothing worked. maybe if I would've given u space u woulda came back but I honestly doubt it. I needed to show effort. to show that I rly do love you. I jus wish u texted me saying "lets start over, I don't wanna actually lose this" but thats never gonna happen is it ? our 1 yr anniversary is coming up. well it was supposed to b our 1 yr anniversary. we would've been so happy. its crazy how u can be so in love with someone n the next day they can jus lose feelings all bc of some dumb mistake. but its ok. this is how it was supposed to end rii ?

i’m sorry i lied to you. it was a truthful lie. telling you made you stay. i was alone and empty and i still am. i’m sorry i can never tell you the truth.

I hated my name but never had a nickname until you gave me 1. Except it only sounded right coming from you.

you made me so happy. you brighten my day. i just wish you didn’t ask for pics & forced them out of me

sometimes i listen to our songs so i can feel ur presence, like ur next to me singing along like we used to. it's so comforting

i wish i could scream at u & get eating the sun back from u but here i am, not acting on my crazy >:(

do u know that i'm bi by now.. i wish i could have came out to u but i know u wouldn't have accepted me :p

i'll never forget in febuary when u came over and pulled the country peach passion tea bags out out of your pocket. u told me they were the last one and u wanted me to have them because u knew they were my favorite

i cry about the future we planned together. i would still go to kathmandu with u. i wish we were still gonna travel the world together, but it wasn't meant to be and ur kind of a piece of shit so i guess i'll go by myself or find someone new

i think the most magical time of my life was last december. last december with you. it was so sweet. that's when i fell in love with u. i started to notice everything about u, but i just didn't notice; i really cared. everything that was important to u was important to me. idk what happened. i thought we were so in love.

it's just like i LOVED u, i wrote essays about u. i would write about u, and then work it all together to make it something beautiful. now there's nothing between us. i know im a romantic but it was magical between us. it was so easy. effortless. i wish u didn't have to ruin it. now i know we weren't meant to be but it was so easy.

i just feel so much anger towards u & idk if that's fair or not and i know i need to move on but it's so hard to let go when u were the only person i've fallen in love with. i truly thought we were gonna be together forever. i wish we could at least be friends, at least talk, at least check up on each other. i told u i needed time but i dont think u care anymore. if u cared then u would respond to me. i cant double text.. thats so pathetic

You ripped out my heart when you walked out the door yelling at me that night... I just want it back...

You completely broke my heart but if you told me today you wanted me back I would say yes. And that's what makes me stupid...

It's been years but I cant stop thinking about you. why did you stop thinking of me? i miss you. everything was different when i came back you never called or texted me. why didnt you call or text me? i cant get you out of my head

I miss you and for some reason, I cannot shake the fact that we were meant to be something more... text me.

I made mistakes and so did you, but I want to forget about the past and make new memories with you. Do you too?

Extraño hacer llamada por 4 horas seguidas, que jugaramos, que me quisieras enseñar a tocar guitarra, realmente extraño todo de ti.

Este es tu color favorito...Eres él único que me hace sonreír, tengo miedo de perderte y que me odies

¿Qué hubiera pasado si te hubiera hablado esa tarde? ¿Si tan solo te hubiera dicho, te habrías quedado conmigo?

i love you i love you i love you i literally love u so much but u don't feel the same way anymore. i wanna be with u again so badly but i'm afraid thats never gonna happen. you dont know how badly i miss you. even tho we were together for nearly 3 months, i have fallen in love with u the hardest. in fact u were the first guy i ever really loved. u were my first kiss too. it broke me and hurt me so much when i found out that u had caught feelings for her. without u i have to deal with this problems by myself, i dont have these "goodnightt i love u dummy" texts to help me sleep or anything to stay up for, i don't have hug with. and god i miss your hugs so much. without u its been so hard for me. but ur still here for me as a friend which i am so grateful for. thank u for staying with me and not leaving me. thank u for keeping our friendship. u caused such a huge amount of pain in my life that i am still dealing with but i love u so intensely that i would take u back anyday. i mean it. any fucking day i will take u back. i'll do anything for u. u've messed me up so many times but if it means i got to be with u, then i'll be okay with it. i love u.
- #8522

I am so glad that you shattered my rose colored glasses, because now I realize that you really were not special. I used to think that I was the one batting above my league, but god I was wrong. How did I ever find your patronizing, white savior complex attractive?

I never lied when I said that I will always love you. Now it hurts because you don't love me anymore.

hey, i just wanted to come out and say it that i have a fat ass problem i am being serious. i know its weird because i havent talked to you in months but i hate you so so so much yet i loved you so much. i actually liked you and u made me so happy for a long ass time till you ignored me that one day i cried when i got home because i wanted to know what's wrong. but i realized that i actually liked you like liked you. and i thought you hated me till you almost gave me you sweater i got my hopes up. then you really ignored me and only talked to me when u felt like it. and i blamed myself because i loved you. when it was you the whole time when you only talked about her and ignored me and when i left early you did not do anything after march i thought it was i thought i did something wrong but it was literally you. if you wanted to text me you would after crying over u more than 3 times i realized you are an ass luv

hi again, I write you here because I know you'll never see this. today I thought about you a lot,like I don't know why. I also miss you appearing in my dreams, when I told you to stop I didn't really meant it like the dream was like what I wish we had in real life, a healthy relationship. - ^-^

hi buddy, I know we don't talk anymore but I miss you a fucking lot. I know I was an asshole for all the thing I did but I never wanted to hurt you. my feelings for you are really all over the place like I don't want to be with you now becouse I know I can be very irresponsible but if I saw you with another girl my heart would break into a thousand little pieces . I know I'm very toxic and I annoy you a lot but I think it's because I actually love you and if you can wait for me we will make it work
I miss you dumbass - ^-^

Dear Eric,
the last nine months with you have been some of the best days of my life. Ever since you moved I feel so empty and as if nothing feels the same anymore. We could only do long distance for so long, but I hope one day you'll come back to me and realize I am worth the distance. In the meantime, I am going to focus on myself. I love you.