Unsent messages to DEREK

I hardly know you but I already like you so much

ouch.

you make me smile so hard my cheeks hurt

i hate how you blamed me for the things i didn't do

Why do I still think about you? It’s been over a year.

I hate seeing you so happy with her.

I miss you so much everyday, I look for u in everything I see

I loved you so so much but I never know how to show you so I was a bad gf for like 7 months. You were my first bf, and I’m over it now because it’s been since June that we’ve been apart and I’ve matured but I just want to apologize. You deserve better and I hope you find that one day.

I know our relationship wasn’t perfect but i’ll always love you and i hope we worked out better in another lifetime.

you ruined me for the rest of my life. but i don't hate you. i don't even wish anything bad to happen to you. i just hope you realize i fell in love with you. and that was my mistake. but yours was lying and saying you did too.

I wish I could tell you how I still felt, but I don’t think that would change anything. You’re so much happier now, and at this point, I think I’m more upset that I haven’t found someone who makes me as happy as she makes you. I miss your friendship.

Hey I really like you. Even if you were way out of my league and good at chess. Hope this finds you for some reason. Idk why I like you. I just do. Bio class was awful.

u walked off like nothing but left me feeling unworthy of anything because of what u did to make me feel this way.

I miss us. I miss our little family together. I still love you. And I think I always will. I'm not ready to move on like you. But I have to.

i told you i wasn’t gonna play you and i did lol lol lol and i’m sorry for that especially cause i did it cause i liked the guy i told you about

i wanted you to be the one so bad but you never were. i missed you and it hurt but i had to ghost you before you could do it to me first. anyway thank you for letting me feel.. whatever that was, however long it was. i needed that.

we started off as fooling around, you were attached to me. wanting to become more than friends. i was hesitant, you wanted things i wasn’t ready for— things that remind me of my childhood trauma. yet you took it as rejection and started fucking my ex best friend. maybe it was my fault— maybe i should’ve tried more, lend you a hand, kissed you one more time and promised everything to be okay. but no it’s gone, all of it... did you even like me— did you care about me, or was another girl you wanted to fuck?? that night before things ended you called me the most beautiful person in the world... then the next day you started dating her. what happened to us?

You was the thing that make me smile when I woke up, now I see you and I'm so worried about my feelings beacause now, I don't feel anything for you.

i hate the fact that you were the first person i felt truly comfortable with. i can't believe i let myself fall for you just to get played in return - and even more, i hate the fact that i'd be willing to try again. fuck you

One more late night drive, one more trip to FL, one more "I love you" . . . Oh what I'd do for just one more

i love you i love you. here is the church and here is the steeple we sure are cute for two ugly people.

I miss you so much. I hope you know, you were the only reason I was alive... now your gone. I needed you.

You were such an important part of my life, I still think about how I never really knew you after years of knowing you.

I’ve thought about showing up on your doorstep countless times. But I’m terrified someone else will answer the door.

i lied yk. i still like you but i'm too scared to say it. maybe there just isn't supposed to be an us.

I miss you so much. I wish I never fell for your stupid games. Sometimes I wish we never met, but then i wouldn’t have learned this lesson. I love you.

Sometimes in life, I guess you just need to come to terms with the six-foot ginger shaped hole in your heart.

Thanks for those late night texts, and the winky face emojis, those made my heart explode. You are one of the biggest reasons that I am happier now.

I miss you dearly and wish I could have spent more time with you. I miss your good mornings and your good nights. I should have cherished your hugs. I'm sorry for not loving you more. You definitely deserve more than I could have given you. Anyway, I love you and GoodBye.

my smile is dim and my heart has been dull ever since you left. You were the light in my life, and it went out when you left.

i miss you. i truly do. It was a very hard day when you decided to leave me. it was for the best though, i guess.. you will always have a place in my heart no matter what and i truly hope you do good in life and hope you treat your next love right. thanks for giving me the time of my life and so many memories. i'll always love you.

you left with no explanation just flat out left me still wondering months later what the hell I did wrong

You where the first person who was hard to get out of my head but I guess it was for the best you don't feel the same way anymore and I guess its better this way.

I never would’ve hurt you like you did me, I loved you too much and I ended up broken. I still miss U everyday.

Why didn't you stand up for me? Not even once? Why did you take your sister's side when she tried to hurt me? Fuck you

you will never truly know how much I care about you, and everyday as we get stronger I get more and more scared to lose you because I'm nothing without you, every touch and smile, just to talk to you, you made me who I am, and I can't do this without you

i love you so much, and have for two years. you’ll never see me as i see you, but i hope that girl you like makes you happy:)

i didn’t break up with you just to date another boy like that one person said i did. i think i might not even like men if you know what i mean. that’s why i broke up with you. i’m sorry for hurting you. i didn’t mean to.

U took a piece of me when u left, and u will always have it. No matter how hard I try, I will always have a soft spot for u even if u just used me

im choosing to open up my heart again, for you. for two years i've been scared to finally give in and be soft for someone, but when you came around it didn't feel hard at all. you make me forget what i want to forget. it literally feels like im in a movie. we're just starting and it only gets better from here. please don't make me feel like i can't trust again. i like you mocoso