Unsent messages to BRIAN

Is it sad to say that I love you? Cause I do and we haven't even talked maybe it's not love love but it is some type of love or crush I haven't felt for any other boy or girl. What's worse is that I could have walked 20 steps knocked on your door, and asked for you to at least be my friend. It was that easy and it still might be, but I'll never know if you really like me or have wanted to be friends with me because of me. I always get a crush on someone but I never see myself with them like I do with you, I never want to stare at someone as long as I want to stare at you. That might be a little creepy but you get the point, I can't see myself with anyone else other than you. But who knows maybe this is just a longer lasting crush cause you were/ are the only boy that has talked to me for some other reason than school. I know I know that's sad, but what can I say I'm apparently not attractive to the male species. That's why I'll be fine when I see you with another girl, because we don't talk, and because of how much of a people person you are. And from what I've seen and how nice you were to me the only time we ever talked even if you only knew me as your neighbor of the sister of your classmate, I know you can have any girl you wish for (or boy I don't know :)) and if you can have anyone, why would you choose me.

After all those years together, all you could tell me was that it would happen eventually. Thanks for making me feel replaceable.

You've been with me for so long. Longer than i can even remember. Even though things have been distant, i've truly been in love with you for so long. Everything you do to make me laugh, every small effort you make. Even if it isn't a lot, you truly make me feel loved. I've seen you go through phases of crushes and everything, and each time it's been painful. But i stick through it every time. I love you more than you'll ever know, and that's okay. I just hope at the end of the day, you're happy.

You were toxic. You manipulated me and made me feel like shit. I hope you know I am so much happier without you.

I like you but I don’t have the courage to let you know. But I’d rather just be your friend than risk making it weird and ruining our friendship.

I miss hanging out with you everyday and us doing stupid stuff not worrying about popularity or anything else.

i never thought i’d miss someone as much as i miss you. i once told you that all i wanted was for you to stay in my life, no matter how. you promised me. what happened to us?

i never thought i’d miss someone as much as i miss you. i once told you that all i wanted was for you to stay in my life, no matter how. you promised me. what happened to us?

Realmente te quise, muchísimo más de lo que te imaginas. Espero que estés bien, espero que nos volvamos a encontrar.

I want to forget you but my mind won’t let me. i had to throw out the good blanket just to try and move on.

Brian,

I hope you’re happy with life.....it was so weird how the last time I saw you I knew it would be the last....I miss you so dam much & I hope really hope you show up and I get to hug you one last time...thank you for showing me how it feels
To be loved

i miss you i wish you knew the real reason on why i left you. i didn't mean to hurt you. i hope you're happy now

i like you probably, i dont even know. but you have a gf and i know youre loyal. i probably dont even like you, i probably just like your voice, cause its hot tbh. yeah!

I loved every little thing about you and put my everything into you, but I wasn’t enough to keep you happy

Thanks for leaving me with trust issues and leaving me thinking I could never love again means a lot ??

Thank you for an amazing 5 months. I'm sorry I couldn't be the right one for you. I will never forget anything you taught me or anything we experienced together. Thank you for helping me become myself over the course of time we were together. I finally started dressing the way I wanted to, I came out as bi to my friends, and I even dyed my hair. I gave you all my firsts, and I don't think I regret any of it. I could never hate you, no matter what you do to me. I just want to remain your friend after all of this. I'm glad I didn't ruin any songs for you and I actually made you love MCR :). I don't want you to feel guilty about the way things ended. As much as you'll deny it, you're a good person. Genuinely. I hope you can figure things out with your feelings soon.
Thank you also for introducing me to your amazing friends. They're great people and I can't wait to get to know them better.
Not sure how to wrap this up honestly. But one last time, I'll end with

i love you but idk what to do. i think youve hurt me in a way i cant even process. idk what to do, but i know whatever i do ill be okay.

we use to be so close, and now that the “chase” is over we don’t talk how we use to. I’m sorry for not communicating. I just thought this was going to end up differently.

I feel like we are deeply connected and I'm so afraid that you might think differently. You are half of my soul.

I’ve never understood why you choose her. Why after everything. The least person I thought you’d go to but the person that’d hurt me the most? She tried to ruin our relationship so you start one with her after leaving me? My heart sank when I saw. I wanted to take back the night we danced even though after you never really liked to dance. “Now I can go dance freely” I loved you and it hurt me. It didn’t make sense. But I will forever wish you the best.

you are an asshole and you dont even know how much you hurt me, but ive learned to live without you and ive grown from it. so in the end thank you, but you still are a bitch

i might not have meant to you what you meant to me but regardless of what you wanna call it, what we had changed me

I thought I was over you for so long, over the pain you caused me for not loving me enough, I’m not...