yeah well, you are the one I want to be with even tho I keep pushing you away from me its because I'm scared, it's hard for me to tell you that I like you and that I want to be with you and sometimes I just feel that I don't deserve you nor do I have the right to have you to call you mine I feel that if I let you in you can get the chance of leaving me and that you may want to be with me for that reason and that is what makes me scared and yes I kept pushing after everything but I think that if I told you then you wouldn't understand because you did say that you hated me and i don't blame you for that after saying that we are just friends I needed to protect you I don't want you to feel sad or see me the way I am when I'm all alone at night I don't want you to see the person you liked broken, so I took the role of the bad guy and broke you.. again and now even if i wanted you back that makes me look stupid because of everything, you are the only person i truly open up to and the only person who didn't judge me. and for that I love you