Unsent messages to SOPHIA

sophia. i’ve been friends with you for half a year now, but i had a crush on you for a while longer than that (i’m over u now dw). thanks for being an awesome friend.

ive never felt as loved as i did when I was with you, which is why it hurt so much more when I found you never loved me in the first place.

hey, i like you in a way more than a friend. we’ve been such close friends since elementary school and we’ve been through some of the hardest moments of our lives together, which only makes this all the more challenging to say. i know that you’re straight (or at least you’ve only dated men), but i wanted to tell you this maybe in hopes that you felt the same way. i’ve been hiding this for awhile, as you can probably tell, but i really needed to get this off of my chest; it feels like i’m suffocating. i just hope that even if you don’t feel the same way i do that we can still be close. i will always love and care about you soph, anytime you need me just call. love you ❤️

I’m very sorry of how i treated you. I shouldn’t have done it but i was angered by how you thought about yourself and wanted to degrade you more and more

as much as i still miss you and love and care for me you treated me pretty shitty but it’s okay i forgive you , i’m kinda glad you’re out my life tbh i can finally be free and alone, i love being alone tbh but yeah happy new years. fuck you btw.

I'm sorry I fucked it up, I didn't realize how much you really meant to me. I should've said what I felt before I ignored it and ended up ruining the best friendship, I think I had ever had, I hope you're doing great and I hate that you never responded but, I hope your choice to go has made you happy and that you're doing well, and that you've forgotten about me, I truly hope.

hey. you know i had a crush on someone before you but to be honest i don't think i'm capable of loving men. so that's why you are my first love. and you knew i liked you. did you like me at the same time? i don't think it matters. anyway i realized i love you. so. yeah.

im so glad i have you in my life and i would date you in a heartbeat but i dont wanna ruin anything :(

I just want you to know what I felt when we were together was real, I never wanted us to become strangers but here we are, I’m sorry I couldn’t be what you wanted. There will always be a part of me that loves you...always

I miss you. I’m sorry I loved all the time we spend together on the beaches and round tables chatting about the future. Please come back

hi sissy. you won't see this bc idk if you go on this site but i js wanted to say hi. also don't look up my first boy i ever fell fors name please, you'll get mad x, amira

Not my first love but an ex friend. I understand why we stopped being friends. I just wish you would have communicated it to me better. You didn’t have to cut me off completely. Best of luck to you now though. You are a beautiful girl with a good head and I know you will do well and I would never wish anything other than that for you.

I feel stupid writing this, I shouldn't have ever sent that text. It ruined everything, our friendship, our relationship as a whole. If I couldn't I would take it back in a second. Now I have to push you away and I'm sorry for that.

I love you so much! You are my everything and no matter what happens to us you will always be my best friend. Love you rat

sophia,
i don’t know who you are anymore. i miss the person i fell in love with. i miss the person who i’d stay on the phone with every night. i miss the late night texts and i miss when you loved me. i miss being loved. i don’t know who you are. the nights we spent together, even though you were so far away i loved you so much. i had hope in seeing you and you promised me we’d meet. you promised me. you promised me that you loved me and cared. you lied so much to me, it makes me wonder when you started to change, when you became that different person. when did you stop loving me? how long did you pretend to love me before you left me? i found out that you cheated last night. i was so angry and i yelled at you but it was so conceal how hurt and betrayed i felt. i’ve never felt such an intense pain in my whole entire life. it felt like you ripped my heart out of my chest. i promise with everything i loved you. i hate myself for it but i still do. i love you. i don’t know why. you treated me like absolute shit. the pain i feel right now is unexplainable. i keep thinking about what i’d say to the old you about this. the one who loved me and cared. that’s the person i wish you were. i wish you were the same. the thing that hurt the most, though, was how you posted that you wanted to fall in love. we were still together at that time, but you decided to post it somewhere i couldn’t see. you said you wanted to fall in love with someone and flirt with them. why was i not good enough for you? why wasn’t i good enough? i gave you all the love i could possibly have given. i stayed up for hours writing you messages in hopes of explaining how much i loved you, getting a one sentence reply. i loved you with every fiber of my being. and it wasn’t enough for you. you’re so selfish to want to fall in love when i’d do fucking anything for you and have. i miss the old you. i miss them so much. and i’m never gonna fucking get them back. i don’t think i’ll ever find someone like you. honestly. i needed you. i’ve never been in love before you. i thought you were in love with me. and of course i wasn’t good enough. i was abandoned, again. but you knew i was afraid of that. you knew. but you still did it.

I told you I'd try to text more.. It's been a while since that I've realized I don't have the guts to say anything, yet I keep thinking of what you'd say when I'd text you about something random I know you'd like.. God I wish I had the balls to just try

u ruined me, my life, my mental health. everything. u walked into my life, stole my friends, made up rumours about me and u were honestly so fake but i just kept giving u chances which i shouldn't have and should've just listened to my parents and people who loved me and should've cut u off a lot sooner. regardless of all of this i hope u are well and wish u luck in life.

I’m in love with you Danilo. I’ve liked you for over 8 years. Your smile warms my entire body and it fills it with something the antidepressants will never. You warm my heart just by looking at me and I’m sorry I let you, let me go. I should have spoken, you probably forgot I existed. I’m sorry, It’ll always be you at the end of the day. Be careful with my heart. She breaks far too easily.

i always wonder if you still think about me. i hope we’ll make it someday again, i have so much to tell you and a lifetime isn’t enough. i hope you’re more loved than ever, you really do deserve it bubs

what the hell is wrong with you, you stupid bitch? i trusted you and you stabbed me in the back. thanks for nothing

Te amo. Quiero estar contigo. Quiero vivir contigo. Pero sé que no me amas. A pesar de que no podré ser feliz junto a ti, mientras tú seas feliz, yo seré feliz.

i think i was in love with you last year. i'm jealous of your new boyfriend. i wish we talked more. i miss having english class with you. you light up every single room you walk into. you're so beautiful and incredibly smart, you're going to go so far in life. i can't believe i was jealous of you becoming friends with my friend freshman year. i thought i would be replaced, but instead you replaced her. when you told me your crush during the musical, i was honestly heartbroken. i didn't know why i felt like that at the time, but i'm realizing it now. i love you

I don't know why you are so rude. I hope that you eventually become happy with urself and treat others right

so obviously you weren't a first love but I still wanted to leave you a message. just I miss you. thank you for being friends with me. I won't let your memory fade away from me. you impacted a lot of people, so even though you left us early, we will always have that.

I don't miss you, and thats weird for me Sophia. 11 years of being close friends, just for you to one day drop me and for what? Something that Josie did? Im gonna be honest, you didn't feel like a very good friend when my parents were getting split, It feels like its always about you. And hey =, I can understand that you have problems and lots of people do,I just wish you could have showed me more support. You said all those rude things over text and social media, but when we are at school you still hangout with all of us in crowds and stuff? Please just stop. You make me really anxious, like you are just gonna freakout at any moment. You cant come back to me, please, enjoy the rest of high school with the new friends that you used to talk about garbage about behind their backs. Im sure they would love to know the stuff you said. Ive done nothing but love and support you, please leave my life for good. I wish you well

You will forever be my best friend. We've let each other go too many times and I'm never letting that happen again.

i’m sorry i hurt you. i’m sorry the timing was never right. if i could go back and change everything i would. i’ve been meaning to tell you i miss you. you’re gorgeous. i would’ve given you everything, i just couldn’t. please never think it’s your fault. you always made me want to get better.

i’m torn exactly into two pieces, one who wants you and one who’s gone dark.

s

My heart tries to reach for you, but i push it back every time. I dont know what to do about it. I get jealous so easily, whenever you talk to someone else. I know i should get over it but its hard. You are always the person i go to talk to first, always my first choice. "You sunshine, you temptress"- Harry Styles. this quote reminds me of you, im not sure why, its just beautiful. im so glad we reconnected. i love you

I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to justify me being a shit friend but I wanted to let u know that I am truly sorry and have learned from my mistakes. Our friendship is to thank for a ton of my personal growth and I’ll never regret befriending you.

i doubt ill ever tell any of this to you. there will never be the right chance, ill never be brave enough. so ill write it here. all my raw emotions and my love for you in this stupid little online thing cuz i dont have the balls to tell you any of this. im new to love. before you, i'd never been in love. you were the one who let me figure out my true identity, who i really am. you make my day better. everytime i see your face i get butterflies of excitement because i get to be around you. you light up my life.
ok lets start with the whole story...
it started as friends. we got really close and i had never really had a friendship like ours before. one where we could laugh, cry, tell each other everything, it was never like that for me. i always got so excited to go to school to see you. we were really close all the time. i thought it was just what it was like having a best friend, but i was wrong. when you came out was when i really knew. knew that it was more of a friendship i wanted. we got really close, holding hands, resting our heads on each others shoulders, long hugs, i thought you felt something too. but then, just as i was going to start thinking of how to tell you, you told us you were dating her.
i didnt know what to think.
i still think theres something more between us. something you havent done to me for years happened in science, out of no where you whispered in my ear, 'youre my favourite dylan' and as always i whispered it back. on our walks, you put your hand in my pocket, link your arm around mine, and one time amany literally said ooOOo and i-
are you leading me on on purpose? or do you just see this as friends. i dont get it. you confuse me. i still love you sophia, and i wont stop.

you are my bestfriend and i will never love someone like i love you. we have never had a bad time together and we never will. i cant wait for the next time i go to your house. also i chose gray because its pretty like you :) love, kalana (aka, wifey).

I love you so much. You're mean so much to me when I'm with you I cant help but blush. But you only see me as a friend a "mini you". I wish you'd just try and see me as more.

i miss you sometimes. i wanna talk to you, just as a friend. but you're an asshole for breaking up over text ngl.

I hope you heal from your trauma and learn from your mistakes. I hope you wake up and realise the damage you've caused to everyone around you. Mental illness is never an excuse to poison other people.

I hope you are well, love. I wonder how things would be today had we continued to grow up together. I wish that treehouse we made wasn't the last.

you are literally the love of my life. i miss you so much and I hope I see you again soon for thanksgiving.

i wish we were closer. i want to cuddle up to you, i want to cry into your shoulder. i want to laugh with you and fool around. i can tell you anything. i want to be by your side i can't wait for this pandemic to be over.

i wonder if we were meant to be but in a different life where i wasn’t so broken and helpless. you put in all the effort and time and i couldn’t give it back to you. i said it was the distance between us and it wouldn’t work out. in reality, it’s because i didn’t want to burden you with my problems. you deserve better. you are a beautiful and such an intelligent person. i hope you find a girl that treats you like royalty. maybe one day we will make that lavender cafe in the middle of nowhere somewhere in europe. maybe we will have the little succulents and make homemade strawberry milk. maybe not in this lifetime, but maybe in the next one.

We've been friends since the day I was born. I guess 16 years can break any relationship though, huh? You were always the goal. The level I couldn't reach. Every year it seemed you were getting higher and higher up, further away from me. I guess I was just looking at it wrong. You were walking away. I'll give you your space now. I know you don't want to hear from me. Someone who will always be so far from your level. So far below you. So broken. I tried for 15 years to make it so our friendship would work. Even through the bullying, the trauma, the bad grades, the depression, everything I tried. You didn't. You saw me broken and saw a way to escape. You taught me that no matter what I was never enough. I should be mad, shouldn't I? But I'm not. How can I be, when you're in so many of my memories? You saw my shattered heart and laughed at it. I don't blame you. I'm pretty pathetic. Now I'm hiding in my room, seeking comfort in distractions, and honestly I just wish that you're happy. I hope that 15 years of friendship made you happy. Tell me if I need to let go?

God I wish I had been brave enough to tell you. Now it's too late for that. I still love you though...

I hate you so much, you’re so over dramatic. your so fucking annoying i wish i never became friends with you.

u still give me unconditional butterflies. i lost you, but our story isn't over yet. i miss you, come back.

you are my only friend right now. i feel like i’m annoying you tho bc i’m texting so much. i’m sorry. please don’t leave me lol

I really wanted to be with you, and I really cared about you. You were my first. I just wish you respected my boundaries because I could really see myself falling for you....

i think of th willow tree & th rain i think of u smelling of vanilla n cigarette smoke i think of me in yr arms

hi sophia
i miss you. i decided to write this in pink because i know it’s your favorite color. you were the best friend i’ve ever had. i’m sorry for not being there as much as i should have. i wish i could’ve been there. i haven’t stopped crying since i heard the news. you’re in a better place now. i hope you’re still watching over me. i will never ever ever in a million years forget you.
i love you forever

I was never the right person for you. I thought I could be but i knew i wasn’t going to be the one to put a ring on your finger and marry you. I’m never happy in any relationship. No matter how hard i tried with you. I didn’t want to hurt you. Even though i’m a lost cause, you will always and forever be my yellow.

I am sorry for everything that I may have done all those months ago, I just want you to know that I will always love you no matter what. I’m glad we are back together and I hope we will stay like that for a while. You make me happy.

remember when you said you loved me? that was the best day of my life. i miss you sophia. please message me. i'm too scared to talk first, because i dont know how to fix things.
always yours, alivia

Do you remember how we stared at each other when we did movie night? I wish I smiled or did something other than just look. I wish I had the guts to call you or text you. You’ve been on my mind so often it almost hurts...but it’s ok, just the thought that you’d someday like me back makes me excited