Unsent messages to OLLIE

i was there for you whenever, all the time and you gave me nothing in return but somehow i still love you.. it will never go away

im so sorry i lied about some of the things that i told you but i still miss you and i haven't seen you in over four years and you didn't even say goodbye. i know you're a year older and you have your whole life planned out but i just hope that maybe you remember me and see me in it too. i talked to your brother a year ago in the summer on camp. it was fun we called each other the mean girls i was gretchen and he was regina. he asked me about you but i didn't know what to say since you still take up so much of my mind. we don't even follow each other any more and i don't see you around. i miss you and i still love you. please find a way back to me

why the heck would you tell me you loved me when you clearly knew you were in love with her? who does that? and not even only once, but even after I went though the biggest heartbreak of my life, and FINALLY got over you, you hop right back into my life and do it all over again. that's just wrong. I've liked you since I was a kid, and you knew that. it was pretty obvious, and ever since then, you've always felt the need to lead me on. thanks a lot for that. thanks for making it so hard for me to live a normal life. all I ever focused on was you. I made sure I was good enough for you everyday which was probably the stupidest thing I've ever done in my entire life. I wasted SO much of my life changing myself to be perfect for you, and when I finally gave myself to you, you threw me away like a used tissue. you got your fun out of it, and didn't need me anymore. I just don't understand why you made yourself seem so committed to me when you literally were in love with another girl. I really hope it doesn't work out for you guys, not because i'm selfish, but because she deserves an amazing guy, and that's not you. have a nice life.

what would have happened if i came and lied in the rain with u like u wanted me to... would u love me now?

i still think about you. i don't think i'll ever understand what or how you felt, but i'll always have a soft spot for you

I wish I’d told you how I felt even though I found out later you didn’t feel the same, I still haven’t found anyone who makes me feel like you did. I know it wasn’t healthy for me and I deserve someone who feels the same about me as I do them but I just wish that person was you. You’re so beautiful.

you know, you were a really good friend. i hope life is treating you okay, because it has not for me. i’m sorry.

Hi,
I love you still. I met you quickly with a brief passing with someone introducing us. We dated for a year and it was the best year of my life. You changed though. I miss the old you. The one im in love with, not the one that just cheated on his girlfriend for me and doesnt admit there something between us.

for some reason ive always liked you even when you show no interest in me I do think I'm starting to like you more but idk how to feel about it because you probably don't like me back :))

I miss you but I don’t. It’s so hard to explain. You treated me like trash but I miss it. I miss everything about you

Goddamit, why the hell do you always gotta be on my mind 24/7... I see my whole fucking future with u.

I don't know why I like you I think you were just one of those crush you have out of nowhere but you are really nice guy.

I know your gone and I should let you go. But I can't. I've tried and after 2 years of you gone I still am madly in love with you. Maybe you have found your soulmate or a girl who makes you smile at them the way you did to me. But even though I know you will never see this I just want you to know that you are the only guy in the whole world who I have truly loved. I love you Ollie.W. maybe in another life you would have stayed a little longer we would have worked out. good bye, hopefully not forever but just till I'm back in your arms.

you manipulated my feelings to use my body, how fucking dare you, you've left an emotional scar for life

every time i think about you my face immediately lights up and my mood uplifts. i wish i could talk to you.

i’m sorry for not telling you how i felt until it was too late, if i could do it again i would. i miss us.

I'm pretty sure that in either this life or another we were soulmates. I know that a little part of me will always be in love with you. I can only hope that maybe you love me a little still.

I took you for granted whilst you were alive. I loved and still love you and I wish I told you before.

maybe i talked too much about u, but always to the wrong people. and maybe that's why it hurts because it feels like this is me letting u go. when all i ever wanted was to dig a hole inside of me and keep u there. forever. maybe until i could finally talk about u to the right people.

i want it all to get better. i want to be able to blink & not see u in those split seconds of darkness. i want to go back in time and tell u things like 'i'm sad but i hope u love me enough to stay' i want to go to sleep at night thinking that i'm happy even when you're happier without me. i just want to stop waking up sad in the morning.

i kno this is meant to b for first loves but u were just a great friend to me and there’s so much i never said. i’m srry. i wish tht u didn’t feel we had to stop talking entirely. i hope ur ok nowadays. ur kindness meant a lot to me, i was lost and had nobody and was dealing w addiction, trauma and anxiety tht i never rly told u abt. so thanku for that. i’ll always find myself making room on the bus for u.

i’m glad i met you
gorgeous
but our relationship is like glass it would rather stay broken than me hurting myself putting it back together

How can you continue to blame me and make me the bad guy in every story you created when you are the one who bailed each time? Who left without a conversation. You didn't love me, you loved the idea of me, you loved the idea that I may have loved you.

Do you like me or not? ive fallen head over heels for you and you're giving me mixed signals. please stop playing with my heart like this i cant take it. please just let me in, i want to talk and make you laugh like we used to. even if its just once.

there’s quite a lot i wanna write. i never meant to cause you any pain and i’m so sorry if i did. you were always the person i had and i thought it’d be that way forever. never in a romantic way but i loved you so much and i don’t think you actually knew that. i just wish we could be okay again ): feeling a little bit lost at the moment and talking to you seems to lift me up. i feel a little lost without you, keep smiling and laughing, i’m so proud of you x

I miss talking to you, I really did like & appreciate you as a friend. Talking to u about music was the best. I had to leave ur stories bc you were just messing w my brain. Acting one way and drunk texting me another way. I hope you break free of ur friends n dress how u wanna dress n do what u wanna do bc u deserve it. 505 still reminds me of u bc u sent it to me first :) anyways i hope ur well n u can always talk to me if u need to

i love you, i really do. but i don’t know how to tell you and be okay with your response. i don’t want to be separated and i don’t want anything to come between us. but i’m not allowed to love you...

why was i not good enough for you? i know you broke my heart and damaged me beyond repair but shit man, i really loved you, why couldn’t you have loved me like you said?

thank you for putting me through the heart break so young, i now know what to say when other people are hurting

You pulled me out of a bad place. You told me that you loved me. You painted me a future where we together and I felt safe. I opened up my soul to you. You knew everything I had been through. You knew my emotions were still raw. You promised to love me and I started to heal. Then you threw me down even further. She seemed lovely. Was she? Was she lovely enough to justify what you did? You told me she was better than me. I never realised I wasn't enough for you. I hope one day that you will reap what you sow. I hope someone will show you how it feels. And I hope one day I reach a point where I know better than to trust boys like you.

you were my everything but did i mean anything to you? you left as soon as you saw her and that was it

Why was I never good enough for you, I wish I could get over you like you have me, but I still love you

I'm sorry we don't talk much now. I don't know how to be your friend without being in love with you. I'll always remember you in the best light.