Unsent messages to HANNAH

girly I am so sorry for all the shit that life throws at you. you are so kind and cheerful even though you are suffering. things are gonna be really hard for a couple of years, and if you see this, please know that I care for you so much and you will always be my friend. please don't make any choices you'll regret, I need you here so we can talk about skateboards and spn and guitars and anything else you'd ever want to talk about. you are my platonic love and hopefully I'll get to see you soon and we can get food. maybe not for a bit, though, cause we need to be careful of the virus. anyway, I miss you, and again, I'm so sorry for your loss. text me at any hour

you are my best friend and i would truly be lost without you. you showed me what being loved feels like. thank u.

I had to get over you when we were never anything. I wish I had more self worth, maybe I would’ve had a shot

When I used to look at you I got butterflies, now when I see you everything hurts. But I'll always love you even if you don't love me anymore.

i have no idea if i love you romantically or platonically but whatever it is just know that I love you

i always hoped that sometimes you thought of me too. i was right, it turns out it was so bad you had to cut off all ties from me. there's no chance for us know but i love you. thank you for all the songs you showed me, i think of you when i listen to them.

i miss you and you dog, i'm sorry for choosing him over you but i liked him too much. i wish we weren't strangers. i'm glad you're happy with your new friends now.

I love you with my everything. I will always stand by your side and give you 100% if I’m down I’ll get better and always put u first!

Hi, I'm still with you but there are so many things that you have helped me through. I love myself, and its because I finally understand what respect and true love is.

thank you for being the best friend a girl could ask for and for always providing me with some good self reflection topics. You understand me more than I understand myself and that is something that I really value about you. I also love your passion in God and I find that anytime that I am around you, your joy radiates to me as well. I love you girl :)

HEYYYY You are amazing and so funnnn and i love you even tho we only known each other for what 3 weeks? idkkkk but you are beatiful and a good singer even if you don't believe it lol. I love how positive you are and how i can trust you with my life and yeah you're just great to vibe with too! ALSO I AM STILL MAD ABOUT THAT 99/100 lmaooo

hello darling,
guess who? hint: i forget things constantly.
just wanted to tell you you remind me of the feeling i get when people hold onto me in a hug for a little longer than i hold onto them. a mix of safe and wanted.
love,
swim whore

this is yellow for a reason. thank you for being a ray of sunshine in my life; like a sunflower too. i miss you a lot

You were one of my closest friends throughout all of my youth. We did some pretty dangerous things and I still cringe when I remember the amount of times we put each other in danger. I hope you're living safer. I hope you're living well where you are now. I'm sorry that I had to cut you off.

You were the best person i ever had, i miss you so much. I hope we can text or reunite again. Im so sorry if i assumed everything, i shouldve been more better. Thank u for everything. I loved everything you said to me, i love u.

When I met you, I thought it would make me think I wasn’t gay. But being with you only confirmed my sexuality.

hey. i don’t know why i kept this in myself for so long, but you’re my light. i fucking hate my life and myself so much and you always made me feel better. i wish you could just cuddle me and tell me it’s gonna be okay as long as you’re with me. i’m sorry for being the reason why you’re so broken rn. i never meant to make you think the same way as i do. your life is so valuable and i love you so much.

‘till we meet again

My biggest ever mistake was letting you go and yet when everyone tells me it was worth it i start to regret it more

I cant get your name and face out of my head. You hurt me and i still forgive you. I'd do anything just to hold you in my arms one more time. As much as i shouldn't want it I want you to come back. I still have so much love to give.

Hey, it's been a few years huh. I just wanted to say that I hope you are having a great day and that you have been happy lately because you truly deserve it. I miss you, I would say we should get together sometime but I feel like we both know that isn't a smart choice. I love you. always.

I’ve loved you since the 7th grade. Even though we will never be together i think i will always deep down have feelings for you

i miss you alot but i know it wasn't meant to be for us. I wish you the best of luck with you and your gf and future

you’re literally insane and i’m glad we aren’t friends anymore. i’m doing so much better off without you

I know your going through a hard time right know and I know that you probably don’t want to tell me and i understand that. i just hope that you are eating that you are staying say i know it’s hard in quarantine but i promise you will get through it. i will se you in a week.

im sorry i couldnt be there with you when you left this earth. I'll forever love you. I know you're still with me

You’re forever and always my best friend thank you for never giving up on me love you miss you see you soon

I’m sorry I’m such a burden to you. I know you and mom would be much better without me because all I do is cause trouble and I’ve just become a hassle to deal with. I’m sorry I’m the reason you have such bad anxiety, because you had the responsibility of making sure I didn’t get into trouble at a young age. You deserved a better sister and twin. Sometimes I wish I could just build up the courage to kill myself or run away so you don’t have to deal with me anymore, but I’m too scared

i can't believe it's almost been four years since I first fell in love with you. with anyone actually... i don't think ill ever tell you though.
thank you for everything though

You promised me you'd never leave, that you'd always be here, whenever i needed you.

Its been 7 months, come back, i need you more than anything

i really want to lean in and kiss you but i know you dont like me back and youll be scared, just know that i love you.

i love u so much but i cant trust u and i know its probably my fault but i just cant shake the feeling you're lying and its fucking eating me alive bro

i hope that one day you realize how much you mean to me. im almost 100% sure that you dont want me. you are still my soulmate, forever and always.

I loved you so much but you didn’t reciprocate the feelings back no matter how hard I tried. I can’t stop thinking ab you and it hurts. How long are you going to do this to me?

this is her, yes, i wish you knew how much i did and endured for you, i’m glad we ended the way we did

I know you don’t realize this, but I loved you so much and I still do, we were never together, but those feelings that I had for you never went away even though it’s been so long and you don’t care about me anymore, we aren’t and weren’t anything and yet I’m so attached, I’m so scared that you’ll leave me the second you get the chance, I’m scared you don’t want me in your life but you don’t wanna hurt me so you stay, but if that’s the reason you are staying then leave, break my fucking heart and leave cause I can’t deal with this anymore, I just can’t so I’m sorry, and if I ever doing anything just know that I love you and you could never do anything wrong and it’s not your fault

You know, when i said i was okay i lied. I'm not and i may need help but. It's okay. I just hope you're okay.

I really thought that since you were there for me at my lowest you actually cared about me. i guess you just happened to pick up your phone at the right moment and that’s all. it hurts. and yet you told me that you didn’t want YOUR heart to get broken. the irony. the phone calls last winter broke me. i told you that i wouldn’t go if that’s what would make you feel better, yet you pushed me to go and then acted as though i went just to hurt you. i had a breakdown on the bus back and couldn’t sleep more than 2 hours a night for weeks. that was just the start of it. i loved you and you shattered my heart into a million pieces without even realizing it.

I know you like him. I’m not stupid. I pick up on every little thing you do. And I fucking hate you for it.

I've loved you since the moment my eyes met yours. I love you, i love you, i love you. Never stop loving me.

You ruined my life. I trusted you, and you just sat and watched me burn. You ruined me. You broke me.

ill never be able to forgive you for the affects you had on my mental health. i'm in the state i am now due to you.

hey hannah, i’ve been thinking about you a lot. i miss you. i’ve been numb since you left. i just want to feel again.

and yes all the pink ones written on sep. 9) r frm me, your best friend from 8th grade to freshman year.

But at the same time i can tell you’re struggling internally. I was your best friend. I know u. but i can help u anymore

Yea. i don’t want to be friends. You were fake to me and so many people. We don’t have a connection anymore.

You pressured me and isolated me from my friends. If I could I'd tell my younger self to stay away and avoid the pain.