Unsent messages to EMILY

god if only you knew how you felt about that girl is how i felt about you. but its too late now, its just too late, when i stop liking you is when you show interest? dude. bye

i started looking both ways when i crossed the street again after i met u.
you changed me idk if its good or bad, but everything fades when im with you , love you bestie

hi pretty. thank you for being my best friend and love of my life all in one. not many people can say that but mwhahah i can. you make me so happy, and without you i’d be so fucking lost. i love you i love you i love you.

THIS STUPID HOMOPHOBIC SHIT DOESNT SHOW U MY MESSAGE SO IM REWRITING IT AGAIN!!
hii emi, i wanted to tell u that im glad we met even the place we met is embarrassing(omegle)
u are a very wonderful person, idk how u didnt got bored of me
ANYWAY, im NEVER going to play that stupid tennis game with u, NEVER
I HOPE THIS SHIT SENDS OR IM GONNA SCREAM

i’m not sorry for what i did to you and i’m not sorry that i keep doing it. i’ll never actually love you.

I love u more than anything I just wish I could have treated u better when I had the chance, although u might love me back I know its never going to be the same

i’m sorry i couldn’t be a better friend to you. what i said was wrong, and you deserve the world. please find it in your heart to one day forgive me :( our groupchat also fell apart after you left

I came here to write about all the things you did to me. But in the end I can’t think of any. I hate that you still make me happy, even if you’ve hurt me. And I’m stupid for letting you play me like this.

She’s prettier than you and she looks like a literal dog sorrey xxo don’t write in her name just to get his attention worm !!

i like you but i think were bad for eachother. if we dated i dont think id be able to love you the way you deserve.

you will never know how I feel about you and that’s a good thing, we are bestfriends and I would never forgive myself if I ruined that. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me, thank you :)

Not only were you my first love but you were my first best friend as well. I wish it could have been different. I wish you could have loved me the same way I loved you. I sacrificed everything by telling you how I felt and you belittled my feelings as if they were nothing. I wanted us to be together, you acted like we were most of the time. I was so confused, you knew what you were doing. All the times we would hug and kiss? You would even sneak into my bed when we had sleepovers. Was it simply a joke to you? I don't understand why you did any of it if you thought so less of me. This is me letting you go, for too long now i've been hurting, hoping you would see that your actions pained me. But obviously you just didn't care. bye em x

When did we start drifting so much? it makes me wonder if we were ever really close. talk to me. and please just give me an ounce of respect, how can you disregard how much i have cared for you all this time. I wish you could trust me, I wish i could learn to trust you too.

i guess u were my first love considering my other relationships were fads but i hate you. i also happen to love you. im also falling in love with someone else. but i cant seem to forget you. its difficult.

I've been in love with you since sixth grade we are now in eighth and I still haven't got the courage to talk to you.

why did you do that. you gave me attachment issues and i hope you never love anyone the way i loved you

Why are you always so thick skulled. If u understood my point and struggle once in your life you would understand but you never did and I’m glad your moving away

Why are you always so thick skulled. If u understood my point and struggle once in your life you would understand but you never did and I’m glad your moving away

thank you for being here. for checking up on me. for loving me when i couldnt love myself. i love you.

I wish I could
Have told you how I felt about you before I moved and never saw you again, but I cared about you and I fell in love with you but your just not the same person I fell in love with anymore.

thank you for teaching me what love was. i’m glad it was u of all people. but we were just kids then, and you had no idea what you were doing. and that broke me.

you shattered me. you broke me. you told me i was your best friend but you lied. my boyfriend? he was yours too. you took 3 years of my life i’ll never get back. you ruined me. i cant talk to new people out of fear they’ll end up like you. and i know what you’re doing. i know you’re trying to come back. but that’s why i cut her off. please, leave me alone, you’re already ruined me for everyone else. i hope you’re happy with yourself.

You made my day better just by looking at you. our facetimes and your random hugs would make my week. i wish i still had you in my life.

i see you as a good friend now i stopped obsessing over you ever since i stopped thinking about you 24/7 i’ve gotten happier, i cut off everyone because of you. i’m starting to get better and cutting bad habits , you’ve literally made me who i am by the little time we’ve been friends and i’m so thankful and grateful for you. i do miss how i felt when i talked to you and when i saw your name on my phone, but it is time to move on, and i am happy i am moving on. thankyou for everything i truly do love you sm. it’s weird not only talking to you but i’m happy and finally letting my guard down with other people. thankyou i love you hoe

I will be a millionaire.
We all deserve all the good things. Even if someone has hurt us, the real secret of love is that we are our own princess or prince charming.

fuck you. that’s it. you’re so fucking self absorbed it’s a joke. you spend every second of your existence ruining peoples lives. you don’t deserve friends.

I love you but not romantically, i can't do anything about it now, i wanna be with you forever but i want it to be best friends. i hate romance. I love you forever, poohbear :(

i am so in love with u. everything u do is perfect. u r the most beautiful person ive ever met. ur so amazing

you mean so much to me you loser. I can't believe we've been friends for as long as we have. thank you for being there for me through thick and thin. I love you

i was stupid and wasn’t ready for a relationship even though i showed that i was, i’m sorry if i hurt you but i miss you

i’m learning how to do better without you my happiness depends on you and it’s really getting bad i’m trying to do what is best for me even though it hurts.. i love you goodbye

leave me alone. seriously. this is creepy as fuck and i dont know why you thought i wouldnt notice especially when theres one for l*** the same day. please get a life.

I wish you had realized why I said goodbye. Maybe if I hadn't got sick, this never would've happened. Don't be sad, okay? It was always going to end like this. I'm not afraid of death anymore.

hey. i know it’s been a while, and we’re not on great terms, but i just wanted to talk. this may be very out of the place we’re at right now, but i was wondering if you wanted to go for a walk, or out for coffee. i feel like every time we’ve talked about what happened with us it was super unproductive, and didn’t do anything, whether that would have been to have some type of closure, or to try to repair anything.

i only ask this because, and please don’t take this personally, i feel like every time we’ve talked, it hasn’t just been me and you talking, it’s been me talking to all of you, and feeling grouped up on. i may be completely wrong about that, but that’s how it felt. i just think things might actually be clearer if we were to physically talk, so things stop being confusing.

i’m reaching out to you specifically because i feel like you and i specifically may have something left to salvage. i pretty much have accepted that nothing’s moving forward with ayanna and tedi. they made that very clear in the way they acted towards me when we talked, but you were more receptive to actually talking to me, even if it turned out to be pointless. i feel like we were closer than the others, and i really miss you.
i don’t know if this is completely stupid or pointless, but i thought i’d reach out to check. i know i shouldn’t, because this whole situation made me feel horrible for a long time after all of this happened, but i do miss you. i know things will never be the same, and i’ve come to peace with that, but i thought i’d just try and see if there’s anything left here.

fuck you fuck you fuck you. how can you just give up on me so fast i hate you even though i love you. fuck off dude. you tell me you love me all the time but give up on us give up on ME so fucking fast SO FAST. i knew you never really cared i knew i was just a side character in your life . fuck you

I really want to know if you think of me the way I think of you, you send sm mixed signals its really confusing sometimes. maybe im overthinking it, maybe its just your personality? but god emily you made me rethink my whole sexuality, pls dont leave

I wish you could see yourself the way I see you, I could never get annoyed of you. I love you. so much I hope you love me too -

I never had the guts to say this as you’re my best friend but I love you. Not just in the typical friend way. More than that. I know you don’t feel the same way but I had to say it. I love you and I have since I met you. I just want to go stargazing with you at night and talk about our lives when we’re older. I want to be the one that makes you laugh. I want to be the one that holds you when you cry. I want to be yours.

its impossible to let you go. i miss you so much, we still talk but it’s not the same. i pushed you away and i hate myself for it.

i wish i could’ve seen that smoking wasn’t good sooner. i would’ve told you not to the first time you did it

i thought we were close friends and will never leave each other but i guess that wasn’t the case. our friendship broke me when it ended bc i was always with you and after i felt outcasted. this was the beginning of when i started falling deeper into a dark hole. i wondered why i wasn’t good enough for people, why they always left and why i had no one. this stuck with me when i first started to cut. thank you for the memories and lessons though.

please stop. it's not good for you, or me. there is no reason why we need to know or should want to know what is going on in each others lives anymore.

fuck u for making me feel so low of myself that im still dealing with the repercussions to this day.. ur, a bully.

we wanted our kids to be like michael and jane from mary poppins. but i mean fuck that, the last time i kissed you, you flinched. and that’ll be the last time i ever do, i guess.

You were my best friend until you got a boyfriend and started ignoring me. I hung out with Maddie and then you got mad that you weren't my bestfriend anymore.

i know you don’t miss me anymore but i still think about you & i miss you i’ll be here waiting forever ?

You are person I trusted with my truest self. Since you left, why would I ever show that person to anyone else.

not my first love but my best friend, you will never know just how much I love you. i wish i could be as sincere as i want to but its hard so heres to hoping it gets better for the both of us

im just thankful for everything. you truly were great and as long as you’re happy that’s fantastic. even if it’s without
me

A part of me loves you still, because you were my best friend, but another part of me will always hate you, because you made me hate myself.