Unsent messages to AVA

You are really special to me and I really care about you but I find it hard to say because I get nervous but never think that I dont x

Im sorry you're so broken. Its good that you're doing whats best for you. Stop apologizing. You deserve the world

I still miss you after all this time. It hurts seeing you with him but I’m happy that you’re happy. Love you forever.

you made me realize soulmates exist. you're my best friend and twin flame and my twin and i adore you. love and miss you the most.

ur smelly but i love u. please reach out if you ever need anything. you are stronger than they will ever be

you might have never loved me but I loved you with everything in me. that's why I'm letting you go; don't come back. you don't deserve me.

I keep thinking about the night our friend ship ended. I know it’s for the better but I feel like a fucking ass hole. and I want to bring you a fucking pink drink and those stupid cheap sugar cookies with the frosting from cub cause they’re your favorite and I wanna hear everything you have been up to but I can’t even bring myself to text you. I know I apologized but it kills me when I find a snap memory of us. we were such good friends. I would say mutually it ended for the most part. but god I miss you. I miss ur crazy strict mom. I miss having to bike you home in 9th grade even when u lived like 5 mins away from the clay hole and I lived 40. I miss volleyball. I miss fucking chicken girls. I don’t even think u know what this website is but if u are reading this I miss u :( I miss our friendship :( and I hope ur doing okay. I miss u. it’s okay if u don’t feel the same way. I deadass won’t be offended. but if any part of u misses me please just text me. I love u boo and i hope your doing good love :)

thank you. you are one of my best friends and you may never know it, but you saved my life. you are the person who said just the right words. i’m still fighting. and i love you for that.

i love you so much it hurts. i hate that i love you as much as i do. i’ve been fucked over by you countless times, hurt a million more, and i just feel like you will never love me as much as i love and care about you. it always seems to feel like there is always something or someone more important than me and it feels like i’m just someone you go to when you’re bored. we used to talk everyday but now we barely talk. it hurts 100x more to lose a friend than a boyfriend, and i hope you realize that someday.

you deserve the world, there is not a person in the world who shines brighter then you. you are. everything

i miss you bub. we fucked each other up a lot but i'm different now and i think you are too. text me xx

That night felt like magic and I would give anything to relive it. The pictures, the way we laughed, when you told me you hadn't laughed that much in along time, wearing your shirt, everything

i wish you weren't so toxic. i miss the old you. you actually were caring and now you're an entitled bitch.

where do i start? you were my first bestfriend. you made me happy. you were my second sister. i will never forget how you made me feel. i look back on our memories and miss what we had like no other. we have both moved on but just know ill never forget you. i love you.

you aren't my first love but only a friend. I wish we could have been closer sooner but I was never a priority to you. You always picked someone better and now you want to start a closer relationship.. like I'm your last choice.

Even if you don’t say good night to me I still enjoy your presence and think you’re nice, sweet, funny and fun to be around. Anyways, gn

I still talk to you today, but I really love you so much. You make me so happy. But, sometimes you just lead me on. And, I just let it slide...

i wish you weren't like this. i wish you didn't feel like this all the time. i wish you were like your old self again. i miss her

you make me so happy. i know you aren't used to being appreciated and validated but you deserve all of the love in the world. you make me in a better mood. i love your smile. the way your eyes light up when you laugh. you make things better. along with your loveable personality.

I know it’s hard right now but I promise it will get better. I’m 52 days clean and I haven’t had thoughts in a week. :)) i love you

hello jandice I am so excited to see you at thanksgiving this year. I hope you mix the flour all the way.

i know i never got to meet you. i know you never got the chance to meet yourself. but i miss you somehow. i wish you were here to help me through all this shit, to go through it first. i know its selfish but i needed you. i'm sorry

i do miss our friendship. i have since the moment it ended and i’d give anything to have it back. i miss you.

i feel like we are just slowly drifting apart and i'm losing you even though you said that would never happen. i don't want to lose you, you are my closest and best friend but i feel like we are slowly losing that

hi my avabear. i love you so much you fucking whore and i hope you’re doing okay. talk to me i love you

I love you so much but your so toxic to me sometimes. I don’t think you understand how much you hurt me.

i hate you, you ruined my life and haven’t apologize yet you stupid bitch. i hope you get what’s coming your way

Right person, wrong time? We both know I should have treated you better, so I thought it was time to let you go. I hope we talk again soon, because I miss being your friend.

We still talk but I'm not your closest best friend anymore and you seem much happier with your new friends and i'm glad you've found your people, it just makes me feel like not enough when you don't reach out anymore

Ava you are so fucking annoying!!!!!! I hate you sometimes. I want to know why your mom wont let you have social media. And your mom is super fucking ugly!!! Also me and my friends mom dont care about covid so we have sleepovers. While you aren't allowed in anyone's house, have sleepover, or even go in the fucking backyard. Your mom is the worst!!!!!! SUCKS TO BE YOU!!!!!!!! HAHA

We were bff's in because I had no friends. But then there was Ella and she talks about you also your my friend but you are kinda annoying so ummmm yea

hey ava. i thought i was over you but then every once in a while a random memory will come up, and i'm sad again. she said i needed closure, so here i am typing a message to u on this strange website, a message i'll forget about eventually, a message you'll probably never see. we met in 8th grade. i knew who you were in 7th, and u knew who i was, but we didn't become friends until we had science together. the ease in which you started conversations, your complete lack of care for what people thought of you, and your infectious laugh immediately drew me in. i guess after years and years of fake friends, it was refreshing to have someone so genuine and real. we became close so fast, we just clicked right away?? i think things got a little rocky when i dated that guy. you two met and became close because of that, and i constantly got jealous with how close u two were. i know realize it's because i liked u, not him. i hated that u guys were number one best friends on snap, i hated that you would text him while u and i hung out, i hated that he made u laugh. i broke up with him, and came out. you know, you were the third person i ever told i was gay. funny how the first people i told are people i don't talk to anymore. it's weird how fast things can change isn't it? after we broke up, you two became so so so close. you would bring him food, skip class to hang out, and just be with each other 24/7. god, i was so pissed about that. honestly i still think that was really fucked up of u, but of course i now know i was mad for other reasons than i thought. school ended, and summer began. we got so close. we texted everyday, from the moment i woke up to the moment i went to bed. you just understood me better than anyone else i had ever met. i could be weird and honest with u. i often wonder how much u remember. we would always joke about dating, about u being gay, about us kissing to find out once and for all. little did i know that would end up actually happening. you slept over, and we cuddled while watching a movie and i just felt so safe in your arms. i didn't even realize i liked u until u kissed me. u were my first ever kiss and it was so surprising and exciting and i was just so happy existing in that moment. we fell asleep spooning, and u fell asleep. honestly i don't know how u did. i stayed uo most of the night in shock, trying to figure out what happened and what this meant for me, for u, for us. in the morning, we acted like nothing even happened, although we both knew. i texted u about it after u left, and that was the moment everything went downhill. how do u cope with the fact that ur best friend, the girl u like and who took ur first kiss, just told u that she was straight and didn't even like u. i cried. like a lot. u cried too, and got so stressed u threw up. we were both a mess. i didn't wanna lose u as a friend, but u broke my heart. things eventually got back to us texting a lot, but they were never the same. there was no playful flirting, no off handed gay jokes. we went to the mall together that one time in an attempt to make things normal. it was so fucking awkward. when i went in the dressig room with u, when we saw the gay pride stuff at hot topic, i literally wanted to die. after that, i kept getting jealous with how much u hung out with abby, and u kept lying about hanging out with that guy. i knew what we had was over, but i kept pushing. we slowly stopped talking, we got in fights, made up, got in another fight, until eventually we just stopped talking. i haven't texted u in over a year at this point, and the last i heard from u was when he texted me to say u called me a fag (that's cute but weren't u the one who kissed me?) anyways sometimes i still think about u. you've changed, like so much. u bleached ur hair, u wear mascara now, u care so much about looks and ur image, i never thought this was how things would end between us, or that you'd turn out this way. i guess i sorta miss what we had? i definetley want nothing to do with how u are now, but sometimes i watch our vlogs, or read our text messages and get sad. u were a huge part of my life, and i don't think i ever got the closure i needed. i think i'll smash ur snowglobe and that'll help haha. i used to wish bad things on u, but honestly now i'm like 90% over it. i really do want the best for u. i hope u find someone that makes u happy, and i hope u learn how to be nice to urself and others. bye ava, maybe we'll meet again in another life, although i believe your part in my life has ended.

i don't know if i'm actually in love with you. i would give anything in the world to feel the same as you but as much as i try i just come up blank. you make me so jealous. you have a good life. why do you waste it on being mad?

It's unfair how you've made me feel at times, like I'm the bad guy. When in reality I care too much and I'm scared it's gonna be what gets me hurt.

My chest aches every time I think about you because I still love you with my whole heart even though you’ve moved on and we don’t talk anymore.

Why would u treat me like shit? U just left me behind like I was nothing to u. U treated me so bad ur so toxic I hate you sm rn

Sorry for the things I said to you the last time we spoke. I didn't mean them and I was manipulated into doing so.

I really wish you didn't break me, that you could've ended it nicely without making me feel I don't deserve love

Thank you for always being there for me and always listening to me when i tell u things, you such a good friend. And im so sorry for not always being there for you. i love you.

you grew as a person and i’m so proud i’m here to see it, but the old you hurt me and those wounds and effects haven’t worn off yet.

i was thinking of ending it all then you entered my life you helped me find happiness and i am forever grateful for that

we were just friends kjhfkfd.. im doing it anyway tho cause I miss you.

i'm so sorry..

The last thing you said really hurt me, but I should have handeled it better.
You probably aren't even going to see this, but if you do.. please reach out to me

i’m sorry i did u wrong. i didn’t mean for things to end like that. but i appreciate the time you gave me and helped me become a better person today.

youve taught me more about myself than i ever have. youve changed me so much for the better. you showed me how to love myself, be bold, be confident, you taught me how to live. you showed me what friendship really is and i value every bit of u.

We don’t talk anymore. Just mindless snaps back and forth. Unless u need something then u always ask me cause u know I can’t say no.

All those times you wanted me to reach out first, but I never did. I wanted you to fight for us like I've been fighting for the past 2 years. To fight for us. To fight for me. You don't care enough and I'm slowly learning to accept that.

you could have any guy you want. but u want the only one that shows some type of interest in me. why?

i never meant to hurt you. but what you said hurt too. it wasn't your place to act like that, and i hope you realize that now. i forgive you, but i hope you've learned not to do it again, because no one else deserves to feel the way i did.

I just wanted to let you know that I love you and that you are the person I think of every time I walk somewhere

JANDICE! Michael didnt forget your bday but hes gonna pretend like he did so he can double your present. We love you! XOXO A