Unsent messages to TREVOR

You broke me, you hurt me in ways I’ll never understand, but for some reason I can’t seem to fall out of love with you.

I remember the moment I saw you in my class in 6th grade I knew right then and there I liked you but you didn’t feel the same. You went for the pretty girls and one of those pretty girls was my friend. She didn’t know I liked you since I kept it from her because if I wasn’t the one able to make you happy then at least she could. You use to call me names along with your friends and i’m pretty sure you started it. You knew how I felt about you yet you didn’t care because I wasn’t pretty. You made me cry almost every week about my looks because you’re friends reminded me. You made my middle school experience like hell that’s why I made sure I went to another high school so I wouldn’t have to deal with you again because I knew I’d always go back to you even after all the pain you caused. You’re the reason i’m insecure about myself, you’re the reason I compare myself to other girls, you’re the reason I don’t tell people how I fell. You were my bully yet I loved you through it all and I still do. I get butterflies from you. I think you’re perfect the way you are yet you couldn’t see that in me because i wasn’t pretty like the other girls you even gave me a nickname that reminded me of that the whole school used. I hate you trevor L. yet I still love you.

i wish you the absolute best. i’m sorry for everything. i’m sorry for the way things ended. i’m sorry for the way i treated you. i miss you so much but it’s time to finally let go of you. goodbye trevor

Trevor, you literally made me so happy and I don’t even think I could imagine my self with anyone else in the future because I literally based my future off of you and what we wanted but I’m leaving that behind and moving on fuck you you are a whore

I still kinda love you haha. You have helped me trough hard times. You’re so understanding and cute, that why i like you :)

A dumb little crush I developed in 6th grade... why won’t these feelings go away, it’s been 4 fucking years

I was 14 you were 17 I loved you but you didn’t love me I supported your dreams but you didn’t support me I hope you are
doing well in life

we could’ve been so special together if we just talked everything out, i still think about you even tho i’m happy with someone else you are still in my mind.

im sorry we don’t talk anymore because i was selfish and those selfish decisions effected you. i’m glad you taught me people can’t always forgive and sometimes it’s better for both of us to move on. i miss you a lot and love you so much but i’m glad we’re both happy on our own know. You were such a good friend to me and i regret not telling you soon about how much i loved you before you were gone.

Neither of us said it, but we both knew. I wish it could be different.That night we danced together and just ran down the street laughing like we just struck gold, ill long for that moment.

I love you. I care so deeply about you. But now that I’ve moved on I’m happier knowing it didn’t work out. I’ll always be here for you bro

I feel like I've outgrown our friendship but I don't know how to tell you. I hope one day you realize that your actions hurt others.

It was never the right time for us and that's okay now. I still think about you. I hope you really love her.

i miss you. so much. i miss what we had. you were the j to my ally, and ive always wanted to have that type of connection with someone. the bond we had was like no other ive had. i don’t think i’ll ever get that the chance for another connection like that with anyone, so thank you for letting me experience that, even if it was only for a very short time.

I really think i'm falling for you. My heart beats quicker whenever we talk, and I panic and my words trip over each other. I think I love you....

It's a weird feeling. Falling for someone new. Falling for you has been so much fun. But...It's incredibly scary because I know it won't last you will get bored of me like my ex did. Give it 2 months and you'll be sick of me. You say you won't leave but that's what everyone says. We lie and hope that, that lie will become the truth even though we both know that can't happen. I know this is a part of growing up but does it really have to hurt this bad? It's weird because I can recite this whole feeling happening with my ex and I just don't want to do it again. But I do want to fall for you and I do want to build a life with you but I just can't put myself through another heartbreak. Because when my heart breaks its truly shatters. And the more people that break it the more I wont be able to fix these shards. The more refined the pieces become end up becoming dust. That get's swept up and thrown in the bin. And then I'll truly never be able to recover. So I beg of you, please don't break my heart.

i wish i knew what was happening at the time that it happened. you were my first fake love that i still don't forget.
fuck you for your manipulation.

I’ve liked you since freshman year of hs. I had so much hope when we started talking. You ghosted me and that hurt. A lot. I miss talking to you and I want you to come back

i still love you. i should've told you. i cant stop thinking abt what we would've been. i'm sure youre well over me by now but i'm not even close to being over you.

you were the one person i thought i could trust. then you went and yelled at me. for nothing. everyday. all day...

you and that girl are so full of yourselves. you're blind, and i think you know it. why else would u send that.

you were nice to me when i’d been bullied by people like you my entire life. you went out of your way to support me when you didn’t have to. you were the first person i felt so deeply about. i miss how i felt when you smiled and laughed. the way you looked in a beanie at football games. but you're straight. i’m over you now, but thank you. thank you for existing.

Stop being such a bitch bruh ?. Get your head out of your ass and realize she loves you before I take her from you

I wish I could tell you all the ways I miss you and our friendship. You made me feel secure in ways that I've never found in anyone else, and I could never thank you enough for opening my eyes to that kind of love. I'm sorry I kept your hoodie for two years, it reminded me of better times when we were kids in love.

You ruined my life you took everything I loved and cared for you left me broken and helpless but I’m finally healing I wish you the worst in life

I can't hang out with you anymore, because of her. We used to be so close, and then I suddenly fell out of the picture.

You showed me love. The best type of feeling. But you also showed me hurt. The worst type of betrayal.

you broke me. you made everything go dark again. i hate you, but i thank you for what you did because it made me who i am today. and i am so much better than i was with you.

I am so utterly in love with you. I will never leave you and I pray over you every single night. I pray we will make it and I pray that you grow closer to God.

Unfortunately, you have not crossed my mind. Enjoy thinking that my world revolves around you, though!
xoxo,
Ramona Flowers

P.S. purple isn't my color either but I suppose that doesn't fit your perception of me

everyday when i wake up i think about how i was never good enough for you. i think about what i can do to change myself to be enough but i realize no matter how much i change, it’ll never be enough. i think about all the other girls you’ve chose over me. i think about how you only ever went for me when she wasn’t there. i think about how many times you blatantly got with her on front of my face. i think about how you would’ve went for her instead of me if she were there that night. i think about the fact that you can’t possibly care about me if you did me like this so many times. i think about how you probably never liked me but you knew i was always there for you to come back to. you put all of these thoughts into my head by constantly making me feel like i was never fucking good enough. yet every night i cry to the thought of you holding me in your arms. every night i think about what i did wrong. every night i think about what things would be like if we were together. every night i think about the possibility we will be together. every night i cry about all the pain you’ve caused me. i still see the good in you even through everything you’ve done and i hope one day you realize how down for you i was. i’m sorry

how could you do me like that so many fucking times. i wish i never got involved with you. you have made everything in my life so much worse and it took me so long to realize that.

I wear butterflies on my mask for all the butterflies in my stomach I used to get when you used to look at me like that....

tonight showed who you really are. i’m finally able to be ok. i finally realized i’m not in the wrong. it’s you. fuck you. any guy would give the world to be with me. fuck you for making me think i’m the bad one. it’s you. you’re everything wrong with you

It hurt so much to see you at the airport, and have you ignore me as if I was the one who did you dirty.

although we will probably never meet, i will always love u and pls remember ur surfer girl in cali :) ps. i'd listen to country for u

the last time i saw you is still engraved in the back of my head. i’m sorry things had to end this way. i guess it really is time to let go of you so i should really stop writing to you on a website that you would never see. thank you for everything. goodbye.

I could write a book about you. If i'm being honest, i should hate you, but i don't. I could never hate you, ever. You're too precious and special to me. I love you. even tho we never got the chance to see what we couldve been.

I wanted closure, i got it. You said what happened w/ us was because we were both bored. But the truth is, i wasn't bored. But you were.. and thats what hurt me the most.

i’ve thought about you almost everyday and when i finally messaged you again, you said it’s been so long you didn’t remember. crazy how i wasted my time hoping for you when in reality you could care less about me.

i fell in love with your smile, with your voice, with the way you said my name. i fell in love with everything about you. it hurts me so much to see you give that love to someone else. i love you, but i’m gonna love you from a distance.

i never told you this and it’s probably better off that way, but i love you. i wish you could understand why i’m the way i am and why i do the things i do, but maybe you’re one of the people who can’t just understand me. and i wish you could.

i would’ve loved you forever if you let me. you still bring me so much joy and it took me forever to forgive you.

i would’ve loved you forever if you let me. you still bring me so much joy and it took me forever to forgive you.

you made me feel like i actually mattered, like i actually existed, like i actually had a purpose, you actually cared about what i said, and how i felt, no one else has ever shown me that kind of affection. being with you, hours felt like minutes, and all my problems would just stop. you were actually somehow able to make me happy which no one else has ever been able accomplish. seeing you upset literally destroyed me, i never ever meant to hurt you at all, i just really thought you only wanted her. i’ll never forgive myself for hurting you trevor. i don’t expect forgiveness from you, i just wanted to let you know that you did have such a big impact in my life even in such a short amount of time. so thank you for caring about me in ways no one else ever has and showing me that there are still good people in this world. i’m sorry.

i’m sorry for making everything worse. all i ever wanted was to see you happy. and to be the one who makes you happy

you were one of the first men i felt comfortable with. i still love you even though you don’t feel the same :/

i know why you picked her i just wish you didn’t say i love you then leave it’s been over a year and it still hurts

first is the worst. i won't stop loving you until i find someone who i love just a little bit more. & that takes time

I love you Soo much and I miss playing basketball with you. I'm sorry we were pulled away from each other and I know that in the future you will see this and hopefully we will have a family. Until then I will always love you.