Unsent Messages

everyday when i wake up i think about how i was never good enough for you. i think about what i can do to change myself to be enough but i realize no matter how much i change, it’ll never be enough. i think about all the other girls you’ve chose over me. i think about how you only ever went for me when she wasn’t there. i think about how many times you blatantly got with her on front of my face. i think about how you would’ve went for her instead of me if she were there that night. i think about the fact that you can’t possibly care about me if you did me like this so many times. i think about how you probably never liked me but you knew i was always there for you to come back to. you put all of these thoughts into my head by constantly making me feel like i was never fucking good enough. yet every night i cry to the thought of you holding me in your arms. every night i think about what i did wrong. every night i think about what things would be like if we were together. every night i think about the possibility we will be together. every night i cry about all the pain you’ve caused me. i still see the good in you even through everything you’ve done and i hope one day you realize how down for you i was. i’m sorry