Unsent messages to TRAVIS

when it came to you i really did mean forever.

I wonder if you still think of me or if you just don’t care.

i don’t want your apologies i just wanted you to care.

why did you have to be so afraid of me? am i really that scary?

can you just man up and call me?

i didn’t care about anything else i just wanted you. i still do.

I love you pretty boy

i’d be lying if i said i wasn’t still waiting for you.

You used me, I still want you. You USED ME. I STILL WANT you.

i want you back

I think we should get back together

i was thinking about you recently. i wish we could talk again, but i don't think you'd want to hear from me anymore.

you were one of my first real long term online friends and i am so sorry you had to deal with me
i was so cringy and obsessive and weird but you stuck with me
i’m in highschool now, iirc you’re,,, a senior? a junior?? idk maybe ur not even in hs anymore
i’m sorry i was so distant but i was just trying to act cool but panicking behind the scenes to my other friends who knew all about you lol

I hate that you hate me I don’t know what I did but this all hurts. I miss all the happiness you used to bring me and now I feel like I can’t get anything from you I just wish it was so different. I wish this never would’ve happened I mean I probably should’ve known it was gonna happen because I’m just a horrible person to be with because I’m so terrified of someone coming in being better than me and being left for them. I just want to feel happy again and I don’t know if that’ll ever be with you again which it probably won’t or on my own but right now all of this hurts so much and I just feel like you don’t really care about it Or really care about me or how I feel. I just want things to be different I want it to be like how it used to be when we were happy and didn’t care what everyone thought I miss the days where I would get to see you and it would all just be full of love I miss being in your arms and just being with you but I know I’ll never get that back. I haven’t been able to sleep a full night of sleep in almost a month I barely eat anymore because I just don’t have the effort to and I know you’re going to be mad at me for sending you a text but my hearts hurting a lot right now and I don’t really know what to do about it. I’m sorry for everything that I’ve done to you I’m sorry I was a horrible girlfriend I’m sorry I caused so many fights and I should’ve just let it go. I’m sorry I ruined so much for you and us.

the only reason we fell in love was bc i changed myself for u. and that’s why i left, & now i’m in love with myself.

i’m sorry i fell out of love, i needed to focus on myself and i realized i wasn’t the one for u and u weren’t for me.

i love you and i always will. i’m just tired of being disrespected. i wished things were different. i still wear all your clothes. i miss you.

i love you and i always will. i’m just tired of being disrespected. i wished things were different. i still wear all your clothes. i miss you.

I’m getting tired of waiting for you. It’s not going to workout anymore. I think I’m done but every time I see you smile it brings me back. I can’t even let you go even if I try. I can’t run from you. Your always there.

I wish you wanted me the way I wanted you. You hurt me so much but I still love you even though I know I shouldn’t.

honestly we weren't compatible at all but it was fun when we talked. thanks for getting me into anime tho

hey bitch. thank you for making my 2020 worth it. i know im not much more than an annoying younger sister, but i love u and im glad i met u last year.

do you ever understand that everything isn’t about you. did you ever stop and think that maybe i was hurting too and that i needed help just like you. that i put all my effort into making sure you were okay and you never looked back twice to make sure i was. i was so tired of feeling like i wasn’t enough and you reminded me every day. you said no girl would want me because of my body you invalidate my sexuality and most of all you made me feel like shit. but you still talk about me behind my back and make me feel worse everyday and i don’t even interact with you.

I think about you a lot and I wonder if we ever will get together. It hurts because I know you don’t like me like that, but why do you act like you do? Maybe it’s because we are so close, but it hurts how much I actually care about you

I knew I needed you in my life after I heard your stupid laugh one morning at school. Here we are over a year later and I’m absolutely certain you are my person. I love you weenie.

You destroyed my self-esteem when you said to my face "You're not drop-dead gorgeous, you're like a 6."

Please come back to me. i dont know what do anymore you ruined me. I cant think straight and there isnt a day that goes by without me thinking of you. You chose her over me and didnt look back. You get your happy love story while im stuck here. I miss you and hate you at the same time. I wanna punch, kiss and yell at you at the same time. Its not fair bruh. Please come back so i can get over you. I love you so much . Fuck you

am i really supposed to wait for you for like 6 years if not longer? what is even the point in this if we are probably never going to happen. if we keep talking i’m just going to fall harder and harder, until the point where it’s so hard not to date you. i don’t know what to do. if i stop talking to you i will be heartbroken and if i keep talking to you i will be heartbroken so there is no winning. you have become one of my main sources of happiness and that’s not healthy. i need to let you go but i can’t

i feel like i try so much harder than you and care so much more and maybe that’s stupid because we aren’t even dating but you don’t understand how hard i’m falling for you. it’s crazy. i just wish you cared a little more

you are going to break my heart, because i sure as hell could never break yours. But i don’t even care if you do because only you have the power to break it.

god i fucking hate you. you're so childish and you always have been. all you do is lie constantly. GET OVER IT. we literally dated over four years ago! stop spreading rumors about me. fuck you

I've been dreaming about you lately, I wonder if you've been manifesting me. I don't think my subconscious has caught on and realized you're no longer here. Just like I always dream about my old house. I think about you more than I'd like to admit to myself and I know I shouldn't. The universe was cruel to have shown me how beautifully I can be loved by someone who would turn into a stranger.

Travis isn't your name, but its the name we made for you. Im so happy in over you.you werent worth it.

Our long distance relationship didn't worked but I still think about you everyday. Even tho you really hate me, I miss you and somehow I still love you. Wish things would have been different.

I thought you loved me at first but it all faded away I went into it to fast you shouldn’t have let me that why It didn’t work out.

I wasn’t drunk. I lied. I’m in absolute love with you. If I told you, I know it wouldn’t change anything, but there’s a part of me that truly believes you have feelings for me and I’m bot going crazy. I can feel it in my gut. I just wish you’d do something about it.

Mon lapin, I'm so happy I got to be your girl even if just for a moment. I would hold on to your lonely hands for the rest of my life if you wanted me to, and I would keep them warm. Forever and always.

tj, it's olivia. been almost five months. were you scared of falling? i truly believe that everybody i meet i come across for a reason, and i'm just so drawn to you. will we meet again in another life? t, i've changed so much i don't think you'd know who i am. our "relationship" politics or whatever we had together was REAL and i know it; we both do. i really just wanted to say that one thing you said really resonated with me. you said "you're not out of high school just yet; you still have time to get it together." i've been feeling like shit recently and thinking of your voice saying that brings me near tears especially knowing i'll never be able to have your sound advice again. what did i do wrong? did you just find another girl? i just cant think of why you would stop. i'm over you now, but i'll never be over you, you know? i wish you'd just give me the time of day, just once, to just talk to me like we used to. players will be players and it breaks my heart because i know you don't have to be like this. whatever lesson you taught me, i thank you from the bottom of my heart. i hope i can hear from you again freely one day. i really just needed to get this all out in the open.
i cherish you,
olivia

i keep wanting to tell you im sorry even though you were the reason we arent together anymore. but i really hope you learn from me and treat the next girl who comes along a lot better.

I love you, I always will. I dont think the love you have for someone ever fully goes away. I know that we aren't supposed to be together in the end, but thank you for teaching me so much and being such an important part of my life. Thank you for standing up for me and being the light I needed, even if it was just temporary. I cant wait to see you thrive and become the great person I know you will be.

thank you. thank you. thank you so so much for everything you do for selina & i. i have literally no idea where either of us would be without you. you're my best friend in the entire world, never change.

fuck you. from the bottom of my heart fuck you. you broke me in ways i could never explain. ur the only person i've ever known, loved, and now completely utterly hated. you altered my perception of love and intimacy forever. whenever someone touches me i'll always be reminded of the ways you tried to even when i said no.

I wish you knew how much I really liked you. I think about you all the time but I know you don’t feel the same. It kills me. I feel like we are soulmates

I always wonder if somehow you write on here about me. I honestly hope so even though odds are you don’t even think about me.

Finding myself meant I had to lose you. You were my first real friend, we made some great memories. Didn’t we?

One day. you’d always say one day. One day we’d be together. One day you’d be mine. One day never came. Leading me on for years. One day. I hate those words