Unsent Messages

you keep leaving and coming back into my life and i always let you come back, no matter the countless times i tell myself i wont. i wonder if you or things in general would be different if it weren't for all that happened with the girl before. would you have been different? also why am i not enough for you? i try the best i can it just never seems to be enough. there is always someone better. and i shouldn't left you put me through that pain again and again. but what can i do. i wish i could get through to you. i know you're a good person i just wish i could make you realize how you constantly do not need someone by your side to feel better about yourself. i wish you would listen to me. this color reminds me of you. to me gray represents a sense of purity. but also loss of innocence, which,yes, are two contradicting statements but that's how i think of it. because i feel like your a pure soul who got messed up at a young age. a vulnerable age, a age where you only craved love and affection, but instead got manipulated. ugh im writing this and want to backspace and delete this whole thing bc i don't want a single person or myself to know i wrote this about you, cuz you don't deserve my time or energy. but i won't delete it. i wanna look back at this and realize how much i've grown. so see you next time ig. bye t.