Unsent messages to SHANE

It’s been over a year but sometimes I still dream about you.

i wish you loved me as much as i loved you

You’re the most amazing human, I love you dearly.

i know your just trying to mess with me

it’s always been you even if you dont feel the same way

the things i would do to just hear you say hey again.

i love you so much. you’re the best thing to ever happen to me

I'm sorry it never worked out between us.

I miss you but I know I shouldn’t

i love you so much, please don’t leave, i need you

i hope your happy... you always deserved better. just know i always miss you and still think about you all the time... i’m sorry x

I wish we had met 2 or 3 years later, when we were both finally ready. Now I know the true hurt of right person, wrong time. I wish it could be how I imagined.

You did not deserve me, you taught me how to be strong and how I am capable of loving someone so much even if they don’t deserve it and i’m proud of myself for that ability.

we needed to grow without each other, and i did. but now i want to grow with you again. i still love you idiot

I would like to believe that in the beginning we loved each other, but as every day passes I grow more uncertain. You broke me ways that I know you don't even comprehend. I'm so much more than what you reduced me to, and I don't regret leaving. I forgive you for everything you put me through, and I accept the apology I know I'll never receive.

There is just something about you. i shouldnt like you the way i do. we fight. we only get along a fourth of the time. yet i cannot step away from you. i dont like this feeling. its deep in my stomach. you send me songs that make you think of me, and the feeling grows stronger. i hope this turns out okay. i really do.

I want to confess my liking to you but I’m scared that you won’t like me anymore if you said yes to me... I don’t want to ruin our friendship... I like you a lot...

why couldn’t I just tell you how I felt before you got with her,, you will never know how I feel cause I don’t have the heart to say it out loud.

you don’t get to keep doing this to me and acting like i’m nothing. i’m a living breathing human being i have feelings too. you literally treat me like i don’t exist and you ruin my self esteem every single time i hang out with you to the point where i don’t wear mascara with you because i know i’m gonna end up crying it off. i can’t even begin to put into words how fucking horrible you make me feel about myself. i wish you knew how bad you continuously hurt me. i try so hard to help you, i try so hard to be there for you, i try so fucking hard just to make sure you’re ok and you act like i’m just something you can pick up and use whenever you want. i’m so tired of this. i’m so tired of you. and everyone else is too. it’s time for you to actually change and mature but i don’t think you’ll ever make it to that point. everyone is so fucking tired of ur bullshit shane please just actually change for the better and realize how badly you’re hurting everyone around you. i sat in my room and cried all day wondering why i’m never enough while you got to go out and continue on your day because nothing ever effects you. all you care about is yourself and how your feeling. and i truly do hope that one day you realize that and decide to change.

i hope we meet again later or in another life. i hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. i love you always.

i want to talk to you like we used to
i miss it so much
i know i messed up
i was scared and stupid
but i miss when things were easy and ill never forgive myself for ruining that just because i thought i was doing the right thing

i can't believe you're already back with your ex. what happened to loving me? what happened to thinking i was the one? I fucking miss you but i don't want to anymore. You've completely destroyed me. You really believed her words over mine and i think that's what hurts the most. I think i'll love you forever. Fuck You Shane. Fuck you for breaking every promise. Fuck you for saying you'd always be here. Fuck you for making me think love songs were written for people like us. Fuck you for ruining my life. :(

Several days without you and the irony is that i know a year from now i’m still going to miss you just as much if not more

I know I only said it back once but the most important things tend to be the hardest to say. I L word you Shane.

A million paragraphs could never tell and explain to you how i felt and how much it hurt seeing you with her and get hurt every time. I overthought every moment just because of how you would think of me. You changed my life.

you were my world and my everything, i didn’t believe in the quote your world can be taken away from you in an instant until it was

idk why i liked you for so long. ur quite a dick ngl. but like if youd ever let me date you id take the opportunity in a split second.

I always go back to you no matter what. There are other people I think are cute but it's always you I want to be with at the end of the day.

Your like sun coming out from the dark clouds. Your my light, my sun, my flame. But with every flame someone gets burnt. I ended up being that someone. And when you came and burnt me with your flame the light went away. Again

we're friends again but you don't really talk to me even though we know each others darkest secrets except for 1, I love you Shane

As cheesy as it sounds, you're my yellow. I hate that I love you while everyone else is telling me you're a bad idea. I need to move on, I don't want to ruin what we have.

i love you so much. but sometimes i think you’re falling out of love. this is just to get it off my chest. ik you won’t see this but it just needs to be said. you’re the love of my life and god i really hope you’re the one. i truly do believe that you are my soulmate. and ik i’m just overthinking like i always do but please, don’t leave me. you’re all i have. you’re all i need. if i lose you, i lose myself.

I have finally moved on. I will always love you, but I am free from you being my every thought. Thank you.

im so sorry. i think it's been about five months since you left me and i havent wanted to talk about you or even think about you until now. i'm terrible right now. they say it gets worse until it gets better and i hope that's true. i have a lot of dreams about us sometimes. it's always the same; you tell me you still love me and hug me, we hang out and laugh, then i wake up. i wake up and sometimes i don't let it get to me, but other times i cant help it. i wish you wouldve stayed longer and given me a chance. i miss you, but at the same time i have so much hatred for you because you liked another girl while you were with me. everyday, you told me you loved me while you went to sleep dreaming about her. it crushes me and at times i just wanna hurt you, but i know i did the last few months we were together. i wish you would come back so i could apologize and fix things, but the truth is im not a part of your life or mind anymore. im practically nonexistent to you and i guess that's something i'll have to accept. if you see this, which you most likely won't, please just come back.

You cross my mind from time to time.. I hope you’re happy. I miss you, and I’m so sorry for the way things turned out. I wish it could have lasted forever. - ☺️☺️☺️

we talked for 3 days then made it official. that monday. hugged once but felt like a million. only lasted a month on and off cause i wasnt allowed to date. i dont know if i loved you or loved the feeling i never felt before. love really does make you blind.

You were selfish to tell me you love me and then choose her. I was and always will be ready to dive in no matter how hard it would be.

I used to think no one would love me for me but you changed that and then lied to me about everything. I will never forget how heart broke I was after I gave you my all.

I used to think no one would love me for me but you changed that and then lied to me about everything. I will never forget how heart broke I was after I gave you my all.

i love you so much. i wish you liked me back, it made me smile so much when you were singing what makes you beautiful to me. we have so many laughs.
when you touched my hand, i wasnt scared because of germs i just didnt know how to react to it lol.

I know this is probably the end... we keep running in circles. I’m sorry this can’t work, I wish I could fix this. I love you forever, my starshine. goodbye.

even though we never dated, you were my first love and you were my first heartbreak. i wish the best for you.

I really wish you weren't such a dick because you were a really good friend. I hope someday we can try to go back to that.

it’s the talking to other girls for me. it’s the being a dry texter for me. it’s the causing arguments for me. it’s the using my body to let off your horniness for me. it’s the “losing feelings for me”. it’s the pain i felt, for me. it’s the being able to live way happier, healthier, stronger, and better without you :)

Ya know, they told me not to go after you. It would've saved me a whole lot of tears & time. But I still have that soft spot for you, no matter what. I will always love you.

I don't even know where to start. I knew you from the beginning and always thought id finish the end with you. I know were young and stupid but we were special. we saw it and so did everybody else. we both put our all into each other and yea we still messed up but I was never worried because I knew I had you, I at least thought I did. we had to take a break and I still knew in my heart I had you with me because I knew you knew you still had me too. we tried again but this time it wasn't you I was trying with. He had the same name as you, same hair, same body and the same smile but not the same heart and head. the Shane I fell in love with was always trying to make sure I was ok, make sure nothing was on my mind and I was happy and nothing was bothering me. and if something was bothering me he'd do whatever he needed to do to fix it. The Shane I met this time was hurt I could tell. but not even the girl that he loved and hurt him could put him back together. This Shane got his heart broken and got a new life for what I think he convinces himself is for the better but I know it's not. This Shane stopped caring about the one person he loved and I got hurt. He became friends with the boys I was so happy he was nothing like when it came to the way they treated people or girls. He got closer with the people who stab others in the back and who's only concern revolve around popularity. That's not Shane but that's what I've watched him turn into. Those are the types of people that have an influence on him and that he calls friends. And for his sake I'm scared and it breaks my heart watching this stranger hide away the sweet kid I fell in love with and the sweet kid who I know is still in there. People change when they want to change. People change when they care. I want back the Shane I fell in love with but I have no idea how to bring him back. I tried and did all I could but it wasn't good enough for the mask you had on for the new person you've become. In the end I was hurt but I was still there. I was still texting you trying to help you out with your busy schedule while I have my own problems at home that you know about. but you haven't even asked me how I am or how things are and it just hurts even more because then I remember you don't care anymore and thats not the type of person I want in my life. I never thought you would be the boy I cry to my dad about, you never were before. I never thought you'd be the boy I had to hide from my sisters since your name was still in my phone. I never thought that you would be the boy who made me feel used for my body. I never thought you would be the boy who made me ask my self if I was good enough. I never thought you'd be the boy that broke me. you were the reason I believed in love and now I don't know what t think. you told me you'd never leave like everyone else, an now you're just like everyone else. I'm worried about you because I still love you and I pray and hope that you get your shit together and remember who the hell you are, because I tried to help you but you didn't budge. I'm always gonna love the Shaner I knew, but the Shane I know now hurt me in ways I didn't even see coming. I wish you nothing but the best and I hope you miss me like I miss you and I hope you get your act together, because you've turned into a monster and the small amount of good that I still see in you is starting to disappear and this not how I want to remember you. I know you can do it I know you can Shane.

i wish you knew all the things i’ll never get a chance to say and part of me wishes that you would let me go, cause i know that i’ll never be the one to walk away.

you were my first true love, but at times i wish we never met. because i know i hurt you unknowingly and unintentionally and that kills me. i’m grateful for the time we had, i’m so proud i got to love you once.

I want to sit in the back seat of your car while you play with my hair one more time, I hate that we ended before we even started

hey Shane, I'm really sorry the way things ended. I really enjoyed our time as friends. you were really one of the first people I trusted. I wish you well bro n hope the rest of life n the year treats you well,, :')