Unsent messages to LEWIS

I never wanted you to go even though I knew it was for the best. I was selfish. I’m so sorry I never told you that I love you but I was scared that you didn’t love me back. I miss you.

ur a toxic dickhead who controlled me and said horrible stuff and made me feel shit so fuck u, you small dick bitch

it really changed I had hope and then it just changed. I thought I had love for you but I know you can do better

i've never felt this was about anyone else i've ever spoken to. i don't know if you feel the same way. i can only hope.

I see you everyday and pretend I still don’t have feelings for you but I do. I just want to do all the things that I didn’t when we were going out. I want to meet up with you, I want to cuddle you, fuck you, joke and mess around with you. I miss seeing that side of you but you’re so different now. You fuck whoever you like, you talk to whoever you like and you don’t know how it makes me feel. You’re now so numb from whatever love you had for me and I can’t fix that. It’s tearing me apart knowing we can never be more than friends. No one can make me physically make me feel the way you do and you don’t understand that, no one has never made me feel the way you have. I look for you in so many different people and not one person has even came close to measuring up to you. I don’t want to be just friends I want to facetime until early in the morning and tell you that I love you and for you to say it back and really mean it but I know you never could.

I see you everyday and pretend I don’t still have feelings for you but I do. I just want to do all the things that I didn’t when we were going out. I want to meet up with you, I want to cuddle you, fuck you, joke and mess around with you. I miss seeing that side of you but you’re so different now. You fuck whoever you like, you talk to whoever you like and you don’t know how it makes me feel. You’re now so numb from whatever love you had for me and I can’t fix that. It’s tearing me apart. No one can physically make me feel the way you do and you just don’t understand that, no one has ever made me feel the way you have. I look for you in so many different people and not one person has even came close to measuring up to you. I don’t want to be just friends I want to facetime until early in the morning and tell you that I love you and for you to say it back and really mean it but I know you never could.

You hurt me more than anyone and I lost everything for you including myself to look after you I'm glad it's done you can't hurt me again

lewis i wish you knew how much i liked you. i feel like we both feel the same way i just wish one of us had the confidence to say it. i always get condused, one minute you act as if you really like me the next you dont talk to me at all. i wish i knew

I begged God to stop you hitting me, hurting me and making me do things and cried to him every night while stroking your hair.

You hurt me in ways you never knew. You used me and made me feel like I wasn’t good enough. But while we were together, I could see no flaws; I thought you were perfect.