Unsent messages to LAUREN

honestly, screw you lol. you literally left me for the popular girls and tried to blame it on me. i dont want or need your negativity in my life, but somehow you find a way to get back in and make me miss you. we were BEST friends so i dont understand how it could be that easy for you to do that.

whyd you have to go with her? why couldn’t you have just stayed with me you made me so happy and now you’ve destroyed me. you were the bestest friend i could’ve asked for and i thought you liked being my friend too? i hate that i still miss you

I truly did love you Lauren. I know i never said it because I was scared of how you'd react but now more than ever I wish I had. You changed my life twice and I don't think i've ever really felt this strongly about anyone before. I know things didn't work and I hate that more than anything in the world because all I want is to take you on that date or even send you one more stupid video of my playing the ukulele. I think if I could I could die a happy man.

i told you i love you after i gave myself to you, you said it back, but you meant it for someone else

oh my gosh you are just wonderful!! i’m so blessed to be your friend & i can’t wait to cause scenes in 2021 with you.

i really like you but i don’t know what to do about it. you’re this bright and really cool person but i don’t know if you feel the same way. i get jealous over everyone and i just want to be around you. you’ll never see this but if you do, i want to be with you.

You hurt me beyond belief. I asked for communication and instead you ghosted me, you never gave me an explanation which killed me but I’m glad we’re apart. btw, gay and conservative are complete opposites and you managed to be both? ... what the fuck?

Also. Please learn how to kiss.

Please for the love of all things holy, I’m crazy about you please tell me you feel the same. Ask me out and I’d gladly say yes.

For some reason, I believed, more than anything, it was us in the end. Turns out we're not, and I'm okay with that. But I'll always love you.

Hearing you sing over the call makes me feel so safe...I’m so sorry I wasn’t enough to keep you from pulling away

thank u for making me smile when i thought no one could. i love u so much. the amount of faith i have in our friendship is huge. thank u for making me a better me. see u this summer , i love u

i know that i come off as mean but i actually just really like you. i’m just going through a lot of mental issues. i just want to be with you but i’m scared of rejection, i know you’ll most likely never like me back, but i just wanted to say that i like you, even if it means you don’t like me back

someone once told me "if a girl texted me like that, i'd fall in love with her too". i think about that a lot.

If you want to stop feeling like all you're friends hate you, then maybe treat you're friends better because posting stuff and saying how "bad you're friends are" when you're the toxic one isn't gonna make them like you. Stop acting like you know everything, and be better.

I hope you realize that what you did wasn't okay. you really hurt me. I never want to speak to you again.

when we first met, you called me a bitch. after that you tried to stay away from me. and every time i got near you, you were full of aggressive aura. i tried to stay away from you, because i didn’t want to drown in the aura. but as the time flew, you tried to get close. closer and closer. the aggressive aura soon turned into warmth. you apologized for calling me a bitch and the warmth turned into hotness. The hotness turned into a pure fire called love. You loved me, and you didn’t even try to fight back the rumors. But the problem was, I hated you. I hated you in pure hatred. I did.

We dated. I wanted revenge. It all felt like a angsty romance novel but no, it was reality.

Soon, I grabbed the bucket full of water and turned off the fire.

All that was left was smoke. Poisonous smoke which could kill you if you inhale it too much.

In other words, regret.

i’m sorry i never called, you changed my life and no matter how different or far apart we are, i love you

you really hurt me when you said those things about me. but i still loved you and i still do, 2 years later

since its 2021 im gonna get this off my chest, i dont think it’s possible for us personally to be friends when all i can see is us being more than that, and you dont like me anymore and you have a boyfriend so i understand that.., im not saying we shouldn’t talk at all when i see kenzie but i cant keep on doing this, it hurts more than u understand and im really not trying to make you feel bad but ever since the day we broke up nothing has been the same, every night i blast girl in red thinking of u. i love you lauren, and i know you dont feel the same, so i cant keep doing this.

I really truly honestly believe that we were and are “right person, wrong time”. It’s been like 2 years and you won’t get out of my head. I wish we could just runaway and just be. We’d be okay. We would be so okay. I miss you

your prolly gonna find this but anyways. you’re an amazing person and i love you so much. i feel like i was meant to find u. i’ve never felt so close to someone after knowing them for so little, u have made me so much happier than i was before, thank u for everything. i can’t wait to meet you too, don’t EVER LEAVE ME BITCH. i love you. also sorry for being a bitch when we dated , i tend to push people away JDJDJSJ. BUT IM WORKING ON THAT. k? k. luh u

I still think about you, i miss you a lot... I hope you’re doing well, If you think this is for you..it is

u told me it was for attention. i was sitting on my bathroom floor screaming. crying. bleeding. and begging myself to not let go.

I hope I never lose you. That no matter where life takes us that we stay in touch and if we grow apart eventually we get brought back together and pick up like we never left off. You’re a really bright light to everyone around you and I’m so happy that you’ve grown in ways to see that and you still have so much more growing to do. You’ve got a good future ahead of you because I know the type of person you are. You’ve got so much more to explore, learn, feel, and deal with it and I know it’s just going to make you 10x the great person you already are. What we you’re going through these next few years were in school together I hope you blossom with the highs and grow stronger with the lows. I’m here for you always and I appreciate you doing the same. I feel like I’ve gotten to know you so much in just 1 year but I feel like it would take a lifetime to really get to know you, and to be honest you’re like the only person I know who I feel that way about, it’s something different but it’s special.

I'm sorry and I miss you. I wish you would tell me what I did so that I could make it up to you. It's been a couple of years but I still love you like we were still best friends.

you were all the colors in the world to me. i know i wasn’t the nicest, but i will never forget you. i miss you sometimes

I’m so sorry for how childish I was in the break up you deserved better, although you weren’t the nicest yourself you still deserved better.

i wish i didn’t miss you anymore but i do and you liking my stuff and just reappearing now and again doesn’t help:( you have a gf let me let you go fgs it’s nearly been a year i should hate you if anything ...

thank you so much for everything. i was a dislocated bone and you popped me back into place. it hurt, but i feel better now.

I uh chose brown cause that is your skin color LOL. Um this is awkward cause I know you never thought of me EVER or at least in that way. You definitely were not my first love or girl crush so your not as special as you think, sorry that was harsh. BUT, you were the first girl to make me question a lot. my other girl crushes I had not realized them yet but with you I knew I wanted to be more than friends. We are surrounded by lesbians every day so I knew if I held your hand it wouldn't cause WWIII. Then you got a girlfriend. If you just got a girlfriend I would be fine a normal girl but you HAD to be with HER. She constantly looked at me like I was some gum under the chair like WTF did I do. Then you go and get with her. That's what hurt the most. But, its not like you cared or noticed because you never noticed me in the first place. Even though we were on the same team but then so was she. I guess we both found our girl crushes on the field. I tried to comfort you when I could but SHE was always there. It always felt awkward so in the end I gave up because I knew there was no point. I am writing this because I am over you and the stupid little girl crush I had. Thanks for that heart crushing experience HHAAH hope I never see you in person again HAHA I will probably run/look the other way or ignore you because that's just me and it's not like you'll notice I am doing anything because your like a boy, you are so oblivious and couldn't even realize how BAD i had it for you. Then I saw you guys hugging on the bench at school. That was when I knew you never even saw me or knew me at all. HAHAH if you knew who wrote this you'd get so awkward HAHHA ummmm yeah glad this is a thing I feel better already

You mean the world to me and I'd hate to lose you. But maybe losing you is what I need to really have you.

I miss you, my best friend. I think of you everyday and hope you’re happy. Your sister had a baby, congratulations to her and I know you’ll make the best aunt. Even though you hated me when we last talked, I still love you dearly. I hope you’re happy and healthy, I hope you come back.

why did you have to fuck everything up. you ruined a year of my life. and somehow i still feel bad for you

If we don’t make it, I don’t think I’d ever forget the way your smile forms, or the way you smell. You have truly changed my life and I don’t think you even know it.

whenever i was with you, i thought about what we could've been. it made my heart hurt seeing you with her.

I know we are on opposite sides of the world, but i really wanted to make it work. Im gutted that you didnt feel the same

I love you. You're amazing as a person and you changed my life in ways I never thought would be possible. Thank you for being there for me.

Thank you for being there for me. I can't believe you still put up with me. I feel like you won't be there for me anymore which is perfectly fine. You've got a life way far outside of mine. I hope things get better for you. I'll be here for you always.

it’s your birthday today - 8 months ago you were a stranger. now you are someone i love with every bone in my body. i never want that to change. you are what i’ve been searching for my entire life. i love you, always

I would like to think I can forgive you. I hope you're doing okay and finding happiness I really do. True happiness.

i slowly feel like im annoying the crap out of you you are texting me less and less every day i'm sorry for whatever i did to you i wanna fix it tho whatever it may be please let me fix it i'm begging you please let me back in your life. idk what i would do without. a life without you would destroy me it would feel like i was slowly killing myself please don't do this to me you mean everything to me and i would hate to see you go. you saved my life now why do u have to end it to. lauren you're my only friend right now and ur the only person that cares enough to talk to me anymore please please tell me what it is and ill fix it. please lauren i love you-*******

You're still the only one I've ever loved. I don't know if it's because you broke me or because I still haven't found someone as good as you.

it’s been a year exactly since the day we met and u still occupy more of myself than i do, i could fill a whole house with what reminds me of u. i think i will never move past myself or this feeling, though i wish everyday that i could. u clearly never had the same space in u for me to reside. i am hoping this is the last piece i write to u because this was supposed to last 364 days less than it has.

Hey best friend, I love you more than you will ever know. I'm sorry that things are ending up like this I never ever want to hurt you but I'm afraid this will. I'm really sorry please just know Lauren this is for the better I'm sorry but I have to go now. Don't worry ill watch over you and keep you safe I'm sorry I hope u have an amazing life and just remember you're gorgeous and you always will be forever and ever. I'm gonna miss you a shit ton, I love u g :) "Blueberries"

Thank you for everything you have ever done for me I love you so much I'm sorry I have to leave you now but just know this is for the better I love u a lot please always remember that

Thankyou for hurting me to the point I hated myself thankyou for showing me what I didn’t deserve I knew better than you.

i thought we were best friends. but clearly i’m the second option for you, yet i’m expected to come running

i miss it i just wanna go back i forgive you just want to give you everything i saw u today and everything came back.

You’re my best friend and I’ve treated you so wrongly. I’m sorry. I don’t know how to make up for this.

sometimes i wonder if i'll see my name on here. it never is. i swear i'm over you but i wish you gave me closure, it was the least you could've done.